Alright, so I had a dead hard drive. That's the bad news. The good news is, I now have another hard drive that is set up and is ready to go again. Thankfully, most of the data that is lost is non-critical stuff that can be rebuilt. Of those that cannot, they are just small little memories of my past here and there—probably not of much consequence, I guess.
It is rather interesting. On the one hand, I am one who is rather traditional by nature, yet on the other hand, I am also one who is radical and embracing of new ideas (as long as they make sense). A mild contradiction of roles perhaps, but I think that I'm rather comfortable with that. Rooted in tradition, yet open to new ideas; that is probably the best motto that I can get away with given the current circumstance.
So this week and the next are really the biggest crunch-downs for this half of the semester, with all classes having mid-terms within this time frame (I kid you not). I'm likely to be spending most of the weekend studying and building memory aids to help in the recall process of the key issues that are present in each of the courses. I'm not too afraid though, just more grinding to be done.
So, yeah. Life. So many challenges, so many changes, yet I'm still enjoying myself all the way. I must admit that acknowledging that I'm not extremely smart has probably helped me calibrate what I am supposed to expect out of myself as well as how I should be approaching things in general. A calm disposition is one that I most definitely should upkeep, for hot-headedness will not allow me to go far, not under most circumstance.
I can't wait for spring break to arrive. A moment of consolidation, and a great way to start packing/sending things back home to reduce the amount of packing that I need to do prior to the start of the summer break; also, it is a great time to take stock of life in general and to probably shift my Slackware installation to a Xubuntu one. Why the swap, one might ask. Well, while I like the simple interface of Slackware a lot, I realise that upkeeping Slackware just takes too much energy to keep up with. Xubuntu has the minimalist structure that I like, and at the same time, it also has a rather easy way of keeping up with security updates. The only thing that can likely shift me away from Xubuntu will be that of Gentoo Linux, but of course, the high maintenance required means that I need to re-temper my expectations of how things are set up.
As I said, it is just a musing. At the end of the day, I might just leave my Slackware alone and carry on with life thus, but who knows, really?
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
R.I.P.
*sigh* Today marks the passing on of one of my external hard drives. There goes a huge chunk of my not-so-essential data, including memories like digital photographs. But then again, the last time I ever viewed them was a long time ago—memories are best stored in one's mind's eye, I guess.
Rest in peace old friend; the good times we had together will be sorely missed.
[Ed: No, I didn't kill my drive by removing it from the enclosure—it died first, then I removed it from the enclosure. So now, I'm going to try to get a new drive to fit in the enclosure (and hope that the electronics still work), and try running it. Otherwise, I'll just get another enclosure to get the job done. Either way, I think that I should be able to rebuild the datastream that I lost. Unfortunately, all those pretty pictures that I have taken and stored into this hard drive are now... gone. Sorry Nicole, not sure if you still have the ultra-high-resolution of the only sexy picture that you and I ever took, because I don't think that I have that one anymore.]
Rest in peace old friend; the good times we had together will be sorely missed.
[Ed: No, I didn't kill my drive by removing it from the enclosure—it died first, then I removed it from the enclosure. So now, I'm going to try to get a new drive to fit in the enclosure (and hope that the electronics still work), and try running it. Otherwise, I'll just get another enclosure to get the job done. Either way, I think that I should be able to rebuild the datastream that I lost. Unfortunately, all those pretty pictures that I have taken and stored into this hard drive are now... gone. Sorry Nicole, not sure if you still have the ultra-high-resolution of the only sexy picture that you and I ever took, because I don't think that I have that one anymore.]
Friday, February 22, 2008
Weird Day Redux
It is such a weird day. I don't know how best to put it, but suffice to say, it just feels weird. There seems to be so much to do, yet at the same time, I am still feeling strangely relaxed. I wonder what's going on.
"You look kinda different." That was a strange comment; I wonder what that means. Was it in reference to my hair and mild change in face shape (due to me getting mildly fatter), or was it something that he saw in my eyes? It is such an unnerving thought.
That aside, I think that I should be writing an interpreter for Forth. I'm always fascinated by little tools like these; the more spartan the tool, the more interested I am with it. Remember good old ed? I wrote something about it some time ago. So one of my "past-time" programming projects will be to implement a cute Forth interpreter, and maybe write ed from scratch, just for the fun of it.
And no, I've not forsaken my love of research, contrary to popular belief; apart from research, I also believe that I need to expand my repertoire of skills to better allow me to adapt to the rapidly changing landscape of the world. I mean, let's face it. Computer technology research doesn't get far back at home—everyone wants a shiny new machine and/or new drugs with better efficacy, who actually understands that behind all these innovations lies a system of computers whose algorithms were designed and implemented by the computer scientist? Even the papers that most of these technical folks write, they use LaTeX, and sure, some might complain about LaTeX being too arcane and all, but the fact is that it does produce the best digital typesetting one can get for the amount one pays (which is 0), compared to commercial word processors. And who do you think came up with that?
Underappreciation... that's always an issue that I'm grappling with, especially in the professional setting back at home. Hopefully when I do return, I am actually able to help fix the landscape and make a real impact in things in time to come.
"You look kinda different." That was a strange comment; I wonder what that means. Was it in reference to my hair and mild change in face shape (due to me getting mildly fatter), or was it something that he saw in my eyes? It is such an unnerving thought.
That aside, I think that I should be writing an interpreter for Forth. I'm always fascinated by little tools like these; the more spartan the tool, the more interested I am with it. Remember good old ed? I wrote something about it some time ago. So one of my "past-time" programming projects will be to implement a cute Forth interpreter, and maybe write ed from scratch, just for the fun of it.
And no, I've not forsaken my love of research, contrary to popular belief; apart from research, I also believe that I need to expand my repertoire of skills to better allow me to adapt to the rapidly changing landscape of the world. I mean, let's face it. Computer technology research doesn't get far back at home—everyone wants a shiny new machine and/or new drugs with better efficacy, who actually understands that behind all these innovations lies a system of computers whose algorithms were designed and implemented by the computer scientist? Even the papers that most of these technical folks write, they use LaTeX, and sure, some might complain about LaTeX being too arcane and all, but the fact is that it does produce the best digital typesetting one can get for the amount one pays (which is 0), compared to commercial word processors. And who do you think came up with that?
Underappreciation... that's always an issue that I'm grappling with, especially in the professional setting back at home. Hopefully when I do return, I am actually able to help fix the landscape and make a real impact in things in time to come.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Unfair EULAs... What were you expecting?
Each time I read an article which highlights a rather gray/bad aspect of the software industry, I cannot help but heave a huge sigh.
Check this out: Report of the National Consumer Council on EULAs. A shorter version of this can be found at their website.
It always pains me each time I see all these rather nasty sides of the software companies appearing. And to think that I am going into something that will eventually end up contributing to this whole shebang of a mess.
Already people are not having enough time to do stuff. Then, the subterfuge that millions of folks around the world face each day each time they use their device. Unfair DRMs, trusted computing platforms, and incomprehensible EULAs—it is obvious that most companies who dabble in technology are fighting rather dirtily to ensure that we are all bound to them indefinitely. So, in the future, it is likely that the governments of sovereign states have no true power; all of the political power and clout lie in that of the big corporations.
And it is not a dream; it is already happening as we speak now. Already we rely heavily on products from Google, and Microsoft, among other companies—it is known that countries are trying ways and means to seduce these large multi-national companies to set up regional headquarters in their countries, simply because of the influx of capital and investments.
All seems good. But this brings us back to my original qualm: there is no law anymore. Does anyone really think that all those anti-trust convictions of Microsoft in Europe are actually going to have the effect that they were supposed to have? Does anyone really believe that all these corporations are benevolent entities who are trying to make the world a better place by contributing to infrastructure in the places where they set up their various offices?
No! They are corporations, and by definition, profits are what they care of the most. And given their current [extended] reach, some of them have evolved to the point where they are no longer afraid of potential annihilation from any legal skirmish in any single country; one cannot "kill" something that has parts of it elsewhere from the place where one is trying to attack it.
Then, should we descend into anarchy? No, that is not the argument. A concerted effort by the leaders of the world and the legal geniuses should really sit down together and think this problem through. Already the traditional seats of government are having troubles with legislation with regards to the Internet, and now the Internet is literally real, with real money and real capital moving around, and no longer like the nebulous entity that was once thought of as an academic curiosity. If the concept of the government as the social protectors of a sovereign state is still true, then effective checks and balances must be enforced to give fairness back to the citizens.
When dictators take power, unsatisfied masses can take those said dictators down and bring about a period of peace and progress. But when multi-national corporations take power, and misuse them, who then has the power to take them down? Our last institutions for the social good, the government, seem to have reached the point where they are fast being manipulated by the corporations; tell me, who doesn't like money being injected into one's enterprise, be it a company or a country?
I fear for our future. If we don't beef up our sense of social good and rationality, we are fast descending into a situation where we won't be able to enjoy the simple pleasures that we are losing now, and more importantly, we might be in an age where we are all mere cogs of the larger corporations, whose existence spans beyond the constraints of laws, who wield more power than the UN, who make decisions which impact billions of people and yet are not checked in their power. We are then looking at the fall of human institution as we know it.
I'm not saying that all corporations are bad—I'm saying that in preserving their self-interests, they have reached the point where it is getting overexcessive, and is hardly fair to the consumers who literally give the corporations their perceived power in the markets. We need to bring fairness back to the people; technology should not be another class divide between the haves and the have-nots, and technology should also not be an imposition of the powerful's will on that of the masses.
Alright, I think I've spoken enough to relieve that discomfort in me. Again, till next time.
Check this out: Report of the National Consumer Council on EULAs. A shorter version of this can be found at their website.
It always pains me each time I see all these rather nasty sides of the software companies appearing. And to think that I am going into something that will eventually end up contributing to this whole shebang of a mess.
Already people are not having enough time to do stuff. Then, the subterfuge that millions of folks around the world face each day each time they use their device. Unfair DRMs, trusted computing platforms, and incomprehensible EULAs—it is obvious that most companies who dabble in technology are fighting rather dirtily to ensure that we are all bound to them indefinitely. So, in the future, it is likely that the governments of sovereign states have no true power; all of the political power and clout lie in that of the big corporations.
And it is not a dream; it is already happening as we speak now. Already we rely heavily on products from Google, and Microsoft, among other companies—it is known that countries are trying ways and means to seduce these large multi-national companies to set up regional headquarters in their countries, simply because of the influx of capital and investments.
All seems good. But this brings us back to my original qualm: there is no law anymore. Does anyone really think that all those anti-trust convictions of Microsoft in Europe are actually going to have the effect that they were supposed to have? Does anyone really believe that all these corporations are benevolent entities who are trying to make the world a better place by contributing to infrastructure in the places where they set up their various offices?
No! They are corporations, and by definition, profits are what they care of the most. And given their current [extended] reach, some of them have evolved to the point where they are no longer afraid of potential annihilation from any legal skirmish in any single country; one cannot "kill" something that has parts of it elsewhere from the place where one is trying to attack it.
Then, should we descend into anarchy? No, that is not the argument. A concerted effort by the leaders of the world and the legal geniuses should really sit down together and think this problem through. Already the traditional seats of government are having troubles with legislation with regards to the Internet, and now the Internet is literally real, with real money and real capital moving around, and no longer like the nebulous entity that was once thought of as an academic curiosity. If the concept of the government as the social protectors of a sovereign state is still true, then effective checks and balances must be enforced to give fairness back to the citizens.
When dictators take power, unsatisfied masses can take those said dictators down and bring about a period of peace and progress. But when multi-national corporations take power, and misuse them, who then has the power to take them down? Our last institutions for the social good, the government, seem to have reached the point where they are fast being manipulated by the corporations; tell me, who doesn't like money being injected into one's enterprise, be it a company or a country?
I fear for our future. If we don't beef up our sense of social good and rationality, we are fast descending into a situation where we won't be able to enjoy the simple pleasures that we are losing now, and more importantly, we might be in an age where we are all mere cogs of the larger corporations, whose existence spans beyond the constraints of laws, who wield more power than the UN, who make decisions which impact billions of people and yet are not checked in their power. We are then looking at the fall of human institution as we know it.
I'm not saying that all corporations are bad—I'm saying that in preserving their self-interests, they have reached the point where it is getting overexcessive, and is hardly fair to the consumers who literally give the corporations their perceived power in the markets. We need to bring fairness back to the people; technology should not be another class divide between the haves and the have-nots, and technology should also not be an imposition of the powerful's will on that of the masses.
Alright, I think I've spoken enough to relieve that discomfort in me. Again, till next time.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Intermezzo
Without sounding too melodramatic, here I am once more, writing a little of my mind and thoughts here. It is a Saturday, and I am still a little weary from the rather hectic week that I had. There were lots to be done in the last week, from preparing for exams, to fixing my programs to visiting my community partner's site to gather information to do a report.
Speaking of the report, I had no clue if it were supposed to be a draft or something quite polished, so I ended up erring on the side of the latter and turned in something that weighed in at 9 pages, single-spaced. It was mildly unnerving, considering the fact that a member of my mentor group for the technical consulting course shared his report of only 3 pages.
I had to write four essays prior to that though—all for my Introduction to Ethics course. I chose the first four to write on, namely on Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle. I think I should have covered the material sufficiently in my essays, but I have no clue on whether I'll be in good shape or not; it is, after all, my first time writing for a philosophy-type class.
And the numerical methods exam. I think I might have shot myself in the proverbial foot when I decided to change my answer to the last question in the last minute, which I later realised to be wrong. This is yet more empirical evidence that one should always trust one's first gut reaction for the most part.
I'm so lethargic today. Granted, I've done about a third of my machine learning homework, but I'm feeling somewhat lackadaisical. Maybe it's because I need more coffee, but I'm not really sure. There's so many things to work on (what's new?), and I know that I have the latent energy around to do them. But the mere thought of doing them is in itself, an inertial barrier towards my actual doing of the work.
Oh, and on Valentine's Day, I did something that I had never done before: I wrote an obfuscated C code and sent it to my girlfriend, simply because she didn't want anything on Valentine's Day. It wasn't the most sophisticated obfuscation ever, but she was delighted at it, which makes me happy too.
Argh. I think that I need to get more coffee. I'm starting to be a little woozy from all this strange sense of lethargy. I need more coffee. Need more coffee. More coffee. Coffee.
Till next time.
Speaking of the report, I had no clue if it were supposed to be a draft or something quite polished, so I ended up erring on the side of the latter and turned in something that weighed in at 9 pages, single-spaced. It was mildly unnerving, considering the fact that a member of my mentor group for the technical consulting course shared his report of only 3 pages.
I had to write four essays prior to that though—all for my Introduction to Ethics course. I chose the first four to write on, namely on Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle. I think I should have covered the material sufficiently in my essays, but I have no clue on whether I'll be in good shape or not; it is, after all, my first time writing for a philosophy-type class.
And the numerical methods exam. I think I might have shot myself in the proverbial foot when I decided to change my answer to the last question in the last minute, which I later realised to be wrong. This is yet more empirical evidence that one should always trust one's first gut reaction for the most part.
I'm so lethargic today. Granted, I've done about a third of my machine learning homework, but I'm feeling somewhat lackadaisical. Maybe it's because I need more coffee, but I'm not really sure. There's so many things to work on (what's new?), and I know that I have the latent energy around to do them. But the mere thought of doing them is in itself, an inertial barrier towards my actual doing of the work.
Oh, and on Valentine's Day, I did something that I had never done before: I wrote an obfuscated C code and sent it to my girlfriend, simply because she didn't want anything on Valentine's Day. It wasn't the most sophisticated obfuscation ever, but she was delighted at it, which makes me happy too.
Argh. I think that I need to get more coffee. I'm starting to be a little woozy from all this strange sense of lethargy. I need more coffee. Need more coffee. More coffee. Coffee.
Till next time.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Community Involvement
And now, on a completely different note, today was a most interesting day. I went to my Community Partner's site today to work on my Technical Consulting class, and was pleasantly surprised at the level of devotion that the folks there had for the job that they were doing. Considering the fact that I've been working with technology from a developer's perspective for so long, doing things from the consultant's perspective has revealed technology in a different light to me. This whole [new] perspective has further amplified the main idea that I have been having—technology is useless unless it can serve people's needs. Broadly speaking, the field of Computer Science can be split into Systems and Theory; Theory is where computer scientists develop new concepts and ideas to further define the theoretical bounds with which we as computer scientists can operate in, while Systems makes use of the theory created to create real technology that can be used to help enhance people's work processes, be it for fun or for profit.
I've always seen myself as a Systems person; something about getting into the nitty-gritty that makes me feel happy. At the same time though, I love to read up on current advances in theory so that I can further improve technology to do even more, thus releasing us humans to spend more time doing what we do best—innovating and inventing. Needless to say, this consulting course is just starting, but I find myself slowly enjoying the process, and have re-found that lost spark in me that I once had, the spark in me that loved to help others. Sometimes, life does give one strange surprises and can open one's eyes to things that one has never seen before.
Another interesting thing happened today that made me feel really pleased. I'm currently taking a StuCo course, Introduction to Traditional Chinese Music. Now, if you actually know me, you might wonder why the blazes am I taking such a course, considering my history. Honestly, I just miss my traditional Chinese music. But I digress so much. The pleasing thing was that the instructor invited me to conduct the course for next semester. Of course I agreed—one of the things that I like to do is to spread Traditional Chinese Music around, not in an evangelistic way, but more of a sharing way.
Alright, I've already spent too much time writing this; I need to work on some essays that are due soon for my take-home exam. Until next time...
I've always seen myself as a Systems person; something about getting into the nitty-gritty that makes me feel happy. At the same time though, I love to read up on current advances in theory so that I can further improve technology to do even more, thus releasing us humans to spend more time doing what we do best—innovating and inventing. Needless to say, this consulting course is just starting, but I find myself slowly enjoying the process, and have re-found that lost spark in me that I once had, the spark in me that loved to help others. Sometimes, life does give one strange surprises and can open one's eyes to things that one has never seen before.
Another interesting thing happened today that made me feel really pleased. I'm currently taking a StuCo course, Introduction to Traditional Chinese Music. Now, if you actually know me, you might wonder why the blazes am I taking such a course, considering my history. Honestly, I just miss my traditional Chinese music. But I digress so much. The pleasing thing was that the instructor invited me to conduct the course for next semester. Of course I agreed—one of the things that I like to do is to spread Traditional Chinese Music around, not in an evangelistic way, but more of a sharing way.
Alright, I've already spent too much time writing this; I need to work on some essays that are due soon for my take-home exam. Until next time...
I'da Say It, But Maybe Her Ideas Are Different...
Alright alright... because Danielle was complaining about me being so secretive, I will prove her wrong and put it here (all your fault hahahaha) complaining that she didn't know that I have a girlfriend, I'll "announce" it a little more "officially" here.
I'm currently dating a really awesome girl. She's smart, geeky, lovable, pretty, independent, inquisitive, intellectually stimulating, passionate and caring. If you've read the rather short paragraph here on the kind of girl I like and looked rather carefully at the timestamps of the posts here, you'd probably realise that something might just be a tad amiss—I'm updating this blog rather sporadically. And yes, it's because I'm dating her.
She's an amazing person. With all honesty, I had first met her nearly a year ago, and found her to be a rather interesting (but mildly awkward) person. I started hanging out with her and her friends over the last semester, and slowly feelings started to develop between us.
And so, we're now dating. Take that, my X-who-has-turned-into-a-Y!
By the way, the last I heard (from the horse's mouth, no less), it seems that my X-who-has-turned-into-a-Y seems to have grande social problems these days. So, I guess I shouldn't be too unhappy now, eh?
And no, I will not put my girlfriend's name here nor anywhere. Nor will I say it in real life unless she is with me. MWAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaha...
I'm currently dating a really awesome girl. She's smart, geeky, lovable, pretty, independent, inquisitive, intellectually stimulating, passionate and caring. If you've read the rather short paragraph here on the kind of girl I like and looked rather carefully at the timestamps of the posts here, you'd probably realise that something might just be a tad amiss—I'm updating this blog rather sporadically. And yes, it's because I'm dating her.
She's an amazing person. With all honesty, I had first met her nearly a year ago, and found her to be a rather interesting (but mildly awkward) person. I started hanging out with her and her friends over the last semester, and slowly feelings started to develop between us.
And so, we're now dating. Take that, my X-who-has-turned-into-a-Y!
By the way, the last I heard (from the horse's mouth, no less), it seems that my X-who-has-turned-into-a-Y seems to have grande social problems these days. So, I guess I shouldn't be too unhappy now, eh?
And no, I will not put my girlfriend's name here nor anywhere. Nor will I say it in real life unless she is with me. MWAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaha...
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Mellow Motif
Something rather interesting: Mellow Motif. Mellow Motif is a small jazz band that a fellow CMU undergraduate (Eugene) is in, and it features the really excellent vocals of Natasha. A real treat if light jazz music is your thing; they make really a nice listening.
Now they are going to have to compete with my Teresa Teng to see who gets more air-time. Hahahahaha...
Now they are going to have to compete with my Teresa Teng to see who gets more air-time. Hahahahaha...
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Mish-mash of Words
The strange thing about life is how things seem to occur in cycles. Like how out of a sudden, Linear Algebra is returning once more as a major topic in the classes that I am taking. In two completely disparate classes, the concepts of linear algebra popped up today. And of course, coming from the GCE 'A'-level examination system meant that I had previously messed around with the linear algebra before.
The strange thing about the term "linear" lies in the fact that it always sounds easy, I mean, what can be easier than a linear system, right? Except not. Everything else that is called "linear" as far as I know, display characteristics that are much further from the truth. Linear algebra is one of them, another might be that of linear cryptanalysis, a technique for code-breaking. And of course, trying to attain linear time for many algorithms is just too much of a hassle for the most part, which makes this hard too.
The strange thing about this post is that I started this post quite a while back, but didn't have the time/energy/heart to put more words to it to finally complete it. Until now, I guess.
——
On a wholly unrelated note, I realise that this semester is not as smooth-sailing as initially envisioned—there seems to be a huge amount of work that is to be done, though in theory most of all these can be completed in a not-too-hard fashion. The quantity is tremendous, but perhaps I might prevail. Past images of the previous semester keep coming back to haunt me, but I think that perhaps those images are not justifiable—I'm more than half way through my undergraduate career, and so in theory I am a little wiser than before and am not taking classes that can totally wreak havoc on all that I strive for.
The strange thing about the term "linear" lies in the fact that it always sounds easy, I mean, what can be easier than a linear system, right? Except not. Everything else that is called "linear" as far as I know, display characteristics that are much further from the truth. Linear algebra is one of them, another might be that of linear cryptanalysis, a technique for code-breaking. And of course, trying to attain linear time for many algorithms is just too much of a hassle for the most part, which makes this hard too.
The strange thing about this post is that I started this post quite a while back, but didn't have the time/energy/heart to put more words to it to finally complete it. Until now, I guess.
——
On a wholly unrelated note, I realise that this semester is not as smooth-sailing as initially envisioned—there seems to be a huge amount of work that is to be done, though in theory most of all these can be completed in a not-too-hard fashion. The quantity is tremendous, but perhaps I might prevail. Past images of the previous semester keep coming back to haunt me, but I think that perhaps those images are not justifiable—I'm more than half way through my undergraduate career, and so in theory I am a little wiser than before and am not taking classes that can totally wreak havoc on all that I strive for.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Losing Weight in Winter == Silly As Hell
So as usual, the silly Pittsburgh weather is as schizophrenic as always, and as usual, it annoys the heck out of me, particularly since I'm literally on a weight-loss regimen. Yes, dear reader, you heard that right. I am on a weight-loss regimen of my own designation.
I'm fat. So says the silly BMI scale though. At the current mass that I have, my BMI is something like 27-ish, which, according to the BMI, is "overweight". I personally feel that most of the mass is from muscle, but the fact that my face appears somewhat chubby even to me and that I still cannot fit into my old jeans still kind of bring me back to the reality that perhaps the amount of body fat that I actually have is a little on the high side, despite the fact that I have muscle mass (yes, I do have muscle mass). On a more serious note, the weight-loss regimen is to avoid the issues other potential problems, like getting too weakened in the future from all that mass among other things.
The rather uncomfortable thing about it all lies in the fact that I decided to lose the said excessive mass during the period of the year where it is actually the coldest. Pretty brilliant idea huh? So now, I literally have to suck it down and brave the cold with ever shrinking amounts of body fat.
Alright, enough rant for now. Maybe more stuff later on.
I'm fat. So says the silly BMI scale though. At the current mass that I have, my BMI is something like 27-ish, which, according to the BMI, is "overweight". I personally feel that most of the mass is from muscle, but the fact that my face appears somewhat chubby even to me and that I still cannot fit into my old jeans still kind of bring me back to the reality that perhaps the amount of body fat that I actually have is a little on the high side, despite the fact that I have muscle mass (yes, I do have muscle mass). On a more serious note, the weight-loss regimen is to avoid the issues other potential problems, like getting too weakened in the future from all that mass among other things.
The rather uncomfortable thing about it all lies in the fact that I decided to lose the said excessive mass during the period of the year where it is actually the coldest. Pretty brilliant idea huh? So now, I literally have to suck it down and brave the cold with ever shrinking amounts of body fat.
Alright, enough rant for now. Maybe more stuff later on.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Ultimate Goal in This Life
The last few weeks have changed my perspective on things in general. For one, I'm no longer at looking at things in a purely technical way—I find that I'm also rather interested in the human side of things too. As much as coding is concerned, it would appear to be the case that I try to write less code as oppposed to before, where I actually liked writing more.
One might say that perhaps I have turned into a different kind of me. The me that has probably been lying latent for so long, suppressed due to the environment and even perhaps the people. The me that is essentially a human, not some silly machine that can only spew code and pure geek talk all over the place.
Of course, like all things that I say, I always maintain some sense of a skepticism. Maybe all these are but dreams, and that all these new-found interests in life in general are mere manifestations that do not have any long term effects. I will probably not know about this, but in the meantime, I'm just happy being the way I am.
Life is getting more interesting, probably due to the fact that I'm not taking that many technical courses this semester (I still need to clear all the general education stuff like philosophy-like, psyhology-like and sociology-like classes) and that I'm being exposed to a whole new dimension of things. Suddenly, my world does not consist of just computer programs and more computer programs—there are economic models, theories of ethics and process consulting helping real people solving real problems.
That's where my interest lies—helping real people solve real problems. I knew from the onset that I didn't really like purely theoretical stuff that has no application whatsoever; let's just call it the engineering blood in me talking. I like solving problems; I am a creative thinker. And to top it all off, I have enough charisma and varied experience to be able to pull things off. Does this mean that I no longer like doing research? No, on the contrary, it gives me even more interest in research. Prior to this semester, I've always been in a rather nebulous state of what kind of field that I should be doing research in. I envy my colleagues who have seemingly clear senses of what they would like to research upon, be it theoretical physics, immunology, or even astrophysics. Yet, whenever I ask myself the [rather] simple question of "what is my research focus", I cannot seem to come up with a coherent enough answer that satisfies myself.
I love computer science—that's something that almost everyone who has ever met me will automatically realise. But computer science is too vast a field; and the world being the way it is, there is a need for me to just narrow down my specialty to a single part of computer science. I surveyed the field; I read the literature. I looked at myself, and reflected upon my abilities and short-comings. And I realised that being a pure theoretician is not the way that I should be pursuing what I love. I hereby choose machine learning.
Machine learning is awesome. It gives the computer or computing machinery a rather potent way of being able to come up with its own judgements of things, based literally on what it has seen before. It doesn't require the programmer to sit down and design a program that steps through all possibilities, neither does it require someone to sit there and literally train the computing machinery what is "right" and what is "wrong" for a given situation. At my very heart, I'm a knowledge gatherer—I am addicted to knowing things, which explains why I read all kinds of arcane (read: non-specialty related) texts like pathology, metallurgy, romance and even history just for fun. And after a while, I realise that my mortal mind isn't really capable of retaining all that I might have seen in my lifetime. I assume that among all the other mortals like me, they all have similar problems. If machine learning can be improved to the point that it can make the machines become powerful-enough data classifiers, it will relieve scientists in all fields of the need to memorise voluminous facts, and instead allow them to do what scientists do best—designing creative solutions.
Maybe I'm not smart enough to make a really ground-breaking discovery that will revolutionise the world, but I guess I'm smart enough to be able to apply what I have learnt from such diverse fields and of machine learning to do something that people can actually use to help themselves in life in general. If that can be done, then I guess that I should be rather happy about things, and my job in my professional life will be done.
Force of personality—I think I have neglected that aspect of mine for quite a while ever since I became an official scholar. For too long I have felt threatened by the glamourous fields that my colleagues are involved in, like neuroscience and cancer-research. But now, I just feel somewhat content with my lot. I have a strange talent that even I don't really have a full grasp of, and perhaps this is that extra special something that sets me as being different from the rest of the folks. Comparatively, I'm probably not as smart as many of them, but then again, I'm not as dumb as I seem. An extravert on the outside; an introvert on the inside. There is perhaps more to me that I know little about, and as time goes by and I age ever so frequently, the hidden sides of me are starting to reveal themselves to me in time.
I was not born into a family of great repute nor wealth, nor was my family ever gaining great repute and wealth. I have nothing more to upkeep other than my own ethos; and that has been building itself up rather steadily as time goes by and I slowly seek myself. To be bound in reality, yet free in the mind; a seemingly paradoxical goal, but one that I seem to be striving towards. Reality and abstraction seem one and the same, and I am slowly feeling more at ease at both. Perhaps when I return for the summer, I'd appear to be a much different person than before—I'm not surprised. My world used to be full of shadows of blacks and grays, but today as I stand here and look out of the window, soft pastel colours dominate the landscape.
If I were to die some day, I want to be able to say in my dying breath, that I had, indeed, lived a good life. That is perhaps the ultimate goal in this life.
One might say that perhaps I have turned into a different kind of me. The me that has probably been lying latent for so long, suppressed due to the environment and even perhaps the people. The me that is essentially a human, not some silly machine that can only spew code and pure geek talk all over the place.
Of course, like all things that I say, I always maintain some sense of a skepticism. Maybe all these are but dreams, and that all these new-found interests in life in general are mere manifestations that do not have any long term effects. I will probably not know about this, but in the meantime, I'm just happy being the way I am.
Life is getting more interesting, probably due to the fact that I'm not taking that many technical courses this semester (I still need to clear all the general education stuff like philosophy-like, psyhology-like and sociology-like classes) and that I'm being exposed to a whole new dimension of things. Suddenly, my world does not consist of just computer programs and more computer programs—there are economic models, theories of ethics and process consulting helping real people solving real problems.
That's where my interest lies—helping real people solve real problems. I knew from the onset that I didn't really like purely theoretical stuff that has no application whatsoever; let's just call it the engineering blood in me talking. I like solving problems; I am a creative thinker. And to top it all off, I have enough charisma and varied experience to be able to pull things off. Does this mean that I no longer like doing research? No, on the contrary, it gives me even more interest in research. Prior to this semester, I've always been in a rather nebulous state of what kind of field that I should be doing research in. I envy my colleagues who have seemingly clear senses of what they would like to research upon, be it theoretical physics, immunology, or even astrophysics. Yet, whenever I ask myself the [rather] simple question of "what is my research focus", I cannot seem to come up with a coherent enough answer that satisfies myself.
I love computer science—that's something that almost everyone who has ever met me will automatically realise. But computer science is too vast a field; and the world being the way it is, there is a need for me to just narrow down my specialty to a single part of computer science. I surveyed the field; I read the literature. I looked at myself, and reflected upon my abilities and short-comings. And I realised that being a pure theoretician is not the way that I should be pursuing what I love. I hereby choose machine learning.
Machine learning is awesome. It gives the computer or computing machinery a rather potent way of being able to come up with its own judgements of things, based literally on what it has seen before. It doesn't require the programmer to sit down and design a program that steps through all possibilities, neither does it require someone to sit there and literally train the computing machinery what is "right" and what is "wrong" for a given situation. At my very heart, I'm a knowledge gatherer—I am addicted to knowing things, which explains why I read all kinds of arcane (read: non-specialty related) texts like pathology, metallurgy, romance and even history just for fun. And after a while, I realise that my mortal mind isn't really capable of retaining all that I might have seen in my lifetime. I assume that among all the other mortals like me, they all have similar problems. If machine learning can be improved to the point that it can make the machines become powerful-enough data classifiers, it will relieve scientists in all fields of the need to memorise voluminous facts, and instead allow them to do what scientists do best—designing creative solutions.
Maybe I'm not smart enough to make a really ground-breaking discovery that will revolutionise the world, but I guess I'm smart enough to be able to apply what I have learnt from such diverse fields and of machine learning to do something that people can actually use to help themselves in life in general. If that can be done, then I guess that I should be rather happy about things, and my job in my professional life will be done.
Force of personality—I think I have neglected that aspect of mine for quite a while ever since I became an official scholar. For too long I have felt threatened by the glamourous fields that my colleagues are involved in, like neuroscience and cancer-research. But now, I just feel somewhat content with my lot. I have a strange talent that even I don't really have a full grasp of, and perhaps this is that extra special something that sets me as being different from the rest of the folks. Comparatively, I'm probably not as smart as many of them, but then again, I'm not as dumb as I seem. An extravert on the outside; an introvert on the inside. There is perhaps more to me that I know little about, and as time goes by and I age ever so frequently, the hidden sides of me are starting to reveal themselves to me in time.
I was not born into a family of great repute nor wealth, nor was my family ever gaining great repute and wealth. I have nothing more to upkeep other than my own ethos; and that has been building itself up rather steadily as time goes by and I slowly seek myself. To be bound in reality, yet free in the mind; a seemingly paradoxical goal, but one that I seem to be striving towards. Reality and abstraction seem one and the same, and I am slowly feeling more at ease at both. Perhaps when I return for the summer, I'd appear to be a much different person than before—I'm not surprised. My world used to be full of shadows of blacks and grays, but today as I stand here and look out of the window, soft pastel colours dominate the landscape.
If I were to die some day, I want to be able to say in my dying breath, that I had, indeed, lived a good life. That is perhaps the ultimate goal in this life.
Monday, January 28, 2008
I'm Obviously Not Writing Here That Often Now
It is perhaps noteworthy that I am currently not writing that often in here. Maybe it is because I have started to run out of things to gripe about, or that there are much more things in the real world that I need to deal with instead of making all kinds of silly noises here. All in all, I suspsect that this might be a good thing.
So, yes, there was a rather interesting anonymous comment made in my previous post. And the answer to that is carefully constructed and placed in the comments section therein. And no, I did not ambush myself with a question like that to generate traffic—on the contrary, I was actively trying to reduce unnecessary traffic due to a rather silly google mis-classification of my blog as providing some manner of download in the form of some wallpaper image.
I don't need that search engine giant propogating my life throughout the world—hardly necessary I suppose. Speaking of which, this semester is just about to start to get rather interesting, as things are starting to rev-up rather quickly. Already I have 6 pieces of homework due on the same day (i.e. tomorrow), and thankfully I'm down to about my last 3, one of which involves drawing some diagram (hopefully not taking too long to do), and another on proving some interesting properties of series convergence (I should be able to do that without killing myself too much I guess). Thank goodness for the invention of LaTeX, otherwise I cannot foresee what I would be doing running around with random scraps of paper and trying to put solutions and proofs together in a linear fashion.
Computer-based work is rather interesting, in the sense that we can do many things in a non-linear way. This is rather useful, since it allows us to better re-allocate our time with regards to what we are doing—literally allowing us to attempt (and solve) the parts of the homework sets that we are confident of solving, and not waste precious time getting rather stalled at the ones that we don't know.
That said, I am contemplating over several issues. One would be whether to obtain Office 2007, and the other is a choice between an ultra-portable computation system or a small-form factor server with which I can use Edythe to talk to. None of these are of particular significance at the moment, and so they currently belong in the "good-to-have" category of expenditure—I've more things to worried about now.
That said, it is back to the grindstone. I just want to finish all my business I have with Windows XP so that I can switch over to Slackware and work on my math proofs.
Till next time.
So, yes, there was a rather interesting anonymous comment made in my previous post. And the answer to that is carefully constructed and placed in the comments section therein. And no, I did not ambush myself with a question like that to generate traffic—on the contrary, I was actively trying to reduce unnecessary traffic due to a rather silly google mis-classification of my blog as providing some manner of download in the form of some wallpaper image.
I don't need that search engine giant propogating my life throughout the world—hardly necessary I suppose. Speaking of which, this semester is just about to start to get rather interesting, as things are starting to rev-up rather quickly. Already I have 6 pieces of homework due on the same day (i.e. tomorrow), and thankfully I'm down to about my last 3, one of which involves drawing some diagram (hopefully not taking too long to do), and another on proving some interesting properties of series convergence (I should be able to do that without killing myself too much I guess). Thank goodness for the invention of LaTeX, otherwise I cannot foresee what I would be doing running around with random scraps of paper and trying to put solutions and proofs together in a linear fashion.
Computer-based work is rather interesting, in the sense that we can do many things in a non-linear way. This is rather useful, since it allows us to better re-allocate our time with regards to what we are doing—literally allowing us to attempt (and solve) the parts of the homework sets that we are confident of solving, and not waste precious time getting rather stalled at the ones that we don't know.
That said, I am contemplating over several issues. One would be whether to obtain Office 2007, and the other is a choice between an ultra-portable computation system or a small-form factor server with which I can use Edythe to talk to. None of these are of particular significance at the moment, and so they currently belong in the "good-to-have" category of expenditure—I've more things to worried about now.
That said, it is back to the grindstone. I just want to finish all my business I have with Windows XP so that I can switch over to Slackware and work on my math proofs.
Till next time.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Almost Done From Hiding
*yawn* Alright, I'm done for the day.
So I grew older by one day officially. No big deal, I guess. I tried to stay away from huge crowds for the last 2 days, and it kinda worked out well. The card and cake got through, but I didn't want to be in such awkward situations.
Call it a tradition I guess.
And no, by now, folks should have realised that I don't really like huge parties—it's just not my style, particularly parties that are being held in my honour. That just doesn't work out. Not being anti-social here, but that huge crowd of people doing something for me just makes me feel rather uncomfortable, considering the fact that I'm more used to doing stuff with/for people than having stuff done for me.
Now that most of the world has passed on into the next day, I think that things are going to get back to normal. Time to get on with life and figure out how to factor in a huge New York-styled cheese-cake as a part of my meals.
Now, if the SSA is going to hold some silly cake-cutting thing on Friday, I'd be bloody uncomfortable and will just bolt off. I mean, seriously, I think I'm probably never going to get used to this, and so yeah, leave me out of this. Ugh.
And no. There wasn't any huge parties, there wasn't a single cake-cutting session, and there weren't anything of that form whatsoever because I didn't want it. A birthday is like any other day, no big deal... hence there's nothing of this sort.
I know, I'm a boring person, but too bad. M3h.
So I grew older by one day officially. No big deal, I guess. I tried to stay away from huge crowds for the last 2 days, and it kinda worked out well. The card and cake got through, but I didn't want to be in such awkward situations.
Call it a tradition I guess.
And no, by now, folks should have realised that I don't really like huge parties—it's just not my style, particularly parties that are being held in my honour. That just doesn't work out. Not being anti-social here, but that huge crowd of people doing something for me just makes me feel rather uncomfortable, considering the fact that I'm more used to doing stuff with/for people than having stuff done for me.
Now that most of the world has passed on into the next day, I think that things are going to get back to normal. Time to get on with life and figure out how to factor in a huge New York-styled cheese-cake as a part of my meals.
Now, if the SSA is going to hold some silly cake-cutting thing on Friday, I'd be bloody uncomfortable and will just bolt off. I mean, seriously, I think I'm probably never going to get used to this, and so yeah, leave me out of this. Ugh.
And no. There wasn't any huge parties, there wasn't a single cake-cutting session, and there weren't anything of that form whatsoever because I didn't want it. A birthday is like any other day, no big deal... hence there's nothing of this sort.
I know, I'm a boring person, but too bad. M3h.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
20,000 Leagues Under The Sea is Over
And today, I end the story of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Vernes. It is a most remarkable story, though the ending seems to be a tad too dreary and rushed.
On the whole, I rather like this book. Now, the next in my series of leisure reading will be something of a completely different nature—Emma by Jane Austen.
Let's see how many of those literary classics I can read for my leisure time...
On the whole, I rather like this book. Now, the next in my series of leisure reading will be something of a completely different nature—Emma by Jane Austen.
Let's see how many of those literary classics I can read for my leisure time...
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Python and SAGE
Honestly, I've always been a rather staunch C/C++ programmer, ever since they gave up supporting QBasic and the rise of GNU/Linux as the "new" hacker-friendly operating system. But after two days of programming with python and SAGE, I must say that python (and its math-oriented superset, SAGE) now rank among my favourite languages.
Python programming is in some ways like the best of C/C++ and Standard ML; python has a decent object oriented programming interface, a decent imperative programming interface, and a decent functional programming interface. The ability to use these three interfaces interchangeably in a single source file is something that I appreciate a lot. For example, some things are more intuitively done with a functional programming interface than through an imperative one, not that C/C++ cannot do it, but the way it is done in python is rather straightforward (just pass the name of the function) as opposed to that done by C/C++ (you pass the name of the function, except that when you write code that uses the passed function, you need to deal with a rather peculiar syntax for function pointers). Also, some things (like mapping over a list of items) are more intuitively done with functional-styled programming than imperative.
Some peculiarities of python need some getting used to. Functions and lists are literally first class citizens in the language, which means that most of the operations that are available off the compiler/interpreter often take lists/functions as parameters. Not that this is bad/inefficient, but it sure takes a little getting used to as opposed to the usual for-loop in C/C++ with counters and stuff—python supports a for-loop whose style is more for iterating through items in a list. Strangely, that doesn't impair me a single bit, since I don't usually use complicated for-loops to start with.
Overall, it is a rather interesting experience in writing code in python. The only reason why it took me so long before I actually started on it was the fact that in its earlier life, python wasn't stable enough for use—the language seemed to be rather ad hoc and have no real structure, and there wasn't a standardised distribution nor a standardised language feature list. Now that python is in a more stable state, it seems rather apt that I play around with it and increase my programming language repertoire once more.
——
In other news, I really want a flute with a B-foot. Not that the C-flute is bad, but that I'm really interested in taking my flute playing skills to a new level. Currently, I'm rather competent with notes that are within the staff, but notes on the upper ledger lines are still killing me on a regular basis. Considering the fact that I now own some practice books, it'll probably be much easier in getting the hang of those pesky upper ledger line notes. That all said and done, it is back to the grindstone for me in finishing more of my homework that is going to be due rather soon.
Till next time.
Python programming is in some ways like the best of C/C++ and Standard ML; python has a decent object oriented programming interface, a decent imperative programming interface, and a decent functional programming interface. The ability to use these three interfaces interchangeably in a single source file is something that I appreciate a lot. For example, some things are more intuitively done with a functional programming interface than through an imperative one, not that C/C++ cannot do it, but the way it is done in python is rather straightforward (just pass the name of the function) as opposed to that done by C/C++ (you pass the name of the function, except that when you write code that uses the passed function, you need to deal with a rather peculiar syntax for function pointers). Also, some things (like mapping over a list of items) are more intuitively done with functional-styled programming than imperative.
Some peculiarities of python need some getting used to. Functions and lists are literally first class citizens in the language, which means that most of the operations that are available off the compiler/interpreter often take lists/functions as parameters. Not that this is bad/inefficient, but it sure takes a little getting used to as opposed to the usual for-loop in C/C++ with counters and stuff—python supports a for-loop whose style is more for iterating through items in a list. Strangely, that doesn't impair me a single bit, since I don't usually use complicated for-loops to start with.
Overall, it is a rather interesting experience in writing code in python. The only reason why it took me so long before I actually started on it was the fact that in its earlier life, python wasn't stable enough for use—the language seemed to be rather ad hoc and have no real structure, and there wasn't a standardised distribution nor a standardised language feature list. Now that python is in a more stable state, it seems rather apt that I play around with it and increase my programming language repertoire once more.
——
In other news, I really want a flute with a B-foot. Not that the C-flute is bad, but that I'm really interested in taking my flute playing skills to a new level. Currently, I'm rather competent with notes that are within the staff, but notes on the upper ledger lines are still killing me on a regular basis. Considering the fact that I now own some practice books, it'll probably be much easier in getting the hang of those pesky upper ledger line notes. That all said and done, it is back to the grindstone for me in finishing more of my homework that is going to be due rather soon.
Till next time.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
A Semester Full of Writing and Reading
Ah, a nice text box which actually supports unicoded text and a [relatively] frills-free way of writing thoughts and other stuff. Yes, I miss the simpler days where writing meant picking up one's pen/pencil and writing away on paper, with each stroke a conscious effort made in order to present an idea to the reader.
This semester seems to promise a lot of writing, which can be both good and bad. It is great that there is a lot of writing envolved, as I realised that perhaps it is time for me to actually partake in a different kind of writing; the one that is more akin to the style that humanities scholars are used to, as opposed to the kind that I have been doing. With the writing comes the reading of course. There's just so many articles to read that I'm both happy and worried at the same time.
Also, for the Technical Consulting in the Community course, I actually get to participate in a consulting process and help create a technical consultant report on how to best aid a non-profit organisation in harnessing technology to better improve upon their business processes. That's right, all that skills and experience that I had learnt from my Army days are going to be very useful for this class, and I can't wait to learn even more on how to be a consultant. I mean, let's face it. Even though I keep telling everyone that the computer scientists are the ones who hold the infrastructural power, it is [sadly] still the business people who are the true wielders of power, by virtue of the fact that they are the one who obtain the necessary cash to fund the infrastructure to further their business needs.
What better way to get involved by being a consultant of sorts? I mean, looking at the long term, I can't possibly be doing research forever, leastways, not in Singapore, so there should be some other venue where my inquisitive nature and multi-disciplinary approach can be put to good use. Enhancing business processes can be seen as an optimisation-type problem, with the constraint that we need to pay particular attention to more than just what technology can or cannot do. The thing that I seem to be learning from the class is that there is a difference in being a consulatant and a hired worker; a consultant uses experiences and assists the organisation in setting up upgraded business processes on a strategic level, while the hired worker is just the one who implements the system that has been set forth by the management.
All these while, I've been thinking of myself as some kind of "trench-level" worker; literally fighting the front in the trenches of the war zone. Yet, sometimes deep inside me thare is this little voice that tells me that I could be something more, and that there is much more to me than just doing pure research and basically dealing with project after project without any other contribution to the world at large. Again, in some of those moments of self-doubt, I seem to think that I'm a weakling, and am unable to converse with people, as well as work with them, but the fact of the matter is indeed far from the truth—I am not of that sort. Everyone has their down points, and when I was thinking of things like that, it was most likely when I was at my down point; now I'm not there, and am riding high from waves of support and understanding from the people who care. I feel empowered, literally, to take on tasks which are of a different nature.
Let's face it. I'm not a genius, granted, but I am still rather smart. I'm not saying this in a "I-am-holier-than-thou-art" way, but rather in a matter-of-fact one. People look up to me or try to exploit me simply because there is something for them to look up to or exploit. Becky said something today that struck me in a way that I found rather empowering: "that's because you are good at what you do". So what is it that I am good at doing? Maybe I don't know the exact answer to that, but it is also very likely that I know a good enough approximation of that latent feeling and ability that I have.
Yes, it does make me warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe I have matured a little over the trials that I had for the last few years of my life, or maybe I didn't but circumstances seem to show that it is indeed this way. I am not gifted by any system devised by humankind, but I am blessed with some decent enough abilities. Less whining and more action should be the motto that I live by now.
This semester seems to promise a lot of writing, which can be both good and bad. It is great that there is a lot of writing envolved, as I realised that perhaps it is time for me to actually partake in a different kind of writing; the one that is more akin to the style that humanities scholars are used to, as opposed to the kind that I have been doing. With the writing comes the reading of course. There's just so many articles to read that I'm both happy and worried at the same time.
Also, for the Technical Consulting in the Community course, I actually get to participate in a consulting process and help create a technical consultant report on how to best aid a non-profit organisation in harnessing technology to better improve upon their business processes. That's right, all that skills and experience that I had learnt from my Army days are going to be very useful for this class, and I can't wait to learn even more on how to be a consultant. I mean, let's face it. Even though I keep telling everyone that the computer scientists are the ones who hold the infrastructural power, it is [sadly] still the business people who are the true wielders of power, by virtue of the fact that they are the one who obtain the necessary cash to fund the infrastructure to further their business needs.
What better way to get involved by being a consultant of sorts? I mean, looking at the long term, I can't possibly be doing research forever, leastways, not in Singapore, so there should be some other venue where my inquisitive nature and multi-disciplinary approach can be put to good use. Enhancing business processes can be seen as an optimisation-type problem, with the constraint that we need to pay particular attention to more than just what technology can or cannot do. The thing that I seem to be learning from the class is that there is a difference in being a consulatant and a hired worker; a consultant uses experiences and assists the organisation in setting up upgraded business processes on a strategic level, while the hired worker is just the one who implements the system that has been set forth by the management.
All these while, I've been thinking of myself as some kind of "trench-level" worker; literally fighting the front in the trenches of the war zone. Yet, sometimes deep inside me thare is this little voice that tells me that I could be something more, and that there is much more to me than just doing pure research and basically dealing with project after project without any other contribution to the world at large. Again, in some of those moments of self-doubt, I seem to think that I'm a weakling, and am unable to converse with people, as well as work with them, but the fact of the matter is indeed far from the truth—I am not of that sort. Everyone has their down points, and when I was thinking of things like that, it was most likely when I was at my down point; now I'm not there, and am riding high from waves of support and understanding from the people who care. I feel empowered, literally, to take on tasks which are of a different nature.
Let's face it. I'm not a genius, granted, but I am still rather smart. I'm not saying this in a "I-am-holier-than-thou-art" way, but rather in a matter-of-fact one. People look up to me or try to exploit me simply because there is something for them to look up to or exploit. Becky said something today that struck me in a way that I found rather empowering: "that's because you are good at what you do". So what is it that I am good at doing? Maybe I don't know the exact answer to that, but it is also very likely that I know a good enough approximation of that latent feeling and ability that I have.
Yes, it does make me warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe I have matured a little over the trials that I had for the last few years of my life, or maybe I didn't but circumstances seem to show that it is indeed this way. I am not gifted by any system devised by humankind, but I am blessed with some decent enough abilities. Less whining and more action should be the motto that I live by now.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Points of Note
Some quick points of note:
- Primary lithium-ion battery died from over-discharge—replacement has arrived
- Need more cheap coffee for day—stainless steel thermos flask has arrived to handle situation
- sage required for a course—downloaded source and compiled for slackware
- Needed colour-coded schedule—printed with colour laser printer at CFA cluster
- Birthday arriving—planning secret getaway to avoid the rather awkward situations that people will have on me
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Random Rant
Check out what I scribbled in cursive today:
Yeah, I know that it is very incoherent, but whatever.
Maybe later.
Yeah, I know that it is very incoherent, but whatever.Maybe later.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Hit'em Where It Hurts
It's rather interesting that the most powerfully written public policy statements are those that literally hits the people where it hurts the most. It makes sense really; considering the fact that people are most interested in something that they have a serious vested interest in. Think of it this way, a student will probably not worry about taxes as much as a person who is working in the industry; a healthy person will probably not worry too much about rises in costs of health care as compared to someone who has been suffering from a chronic illness.
Public policies seem to have a similar feel as a computer program—there are specifications to be met, and there are results which need to be evaluated in terms of efficiency and effectiveness.
Maybe I should branch into governance after my computer science career, and help set public policies…
Public policies seem to have a similar feel as a computer program—there are specifications to be met, and there are results which need to be evaluated in terms of efficiency and effectiveness.
Maybe I should branch into governance after my computer science career, and help set public policies…
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