Another week passed, another week of pain endured. Fall, the time where romance starts under the pretty golden leaves, blossoms under the falling of the many shades of ochre, warms as the weather turns cold.
Looking around me, all I see are happy couples in linked arms, huddling close together, whispering sweet nothings to each other, with faces of happiness and bliss. Standing there, alone, in the cold and strong wind, I cannot help but feel a pang of loneliness. Everyone seems to be doing fine, finding courage from the wind chill to take a baby step towards their potential partner, all except for me.
I shiver and huddle deeper into my jacket. The icy wind cuts across my face like a razor, and my heart feels as though icicles have grown around it. It is when the weather goes cold that one realises the true effect of one's loneliness. Friends are there, but they are never there always, and will likely to leave as soon as they've found their match. I sense this... distancing even as I am writing all these now.
Must it be this way? Does it have to be this way? Should it be this way? Why? Questions that race through my beleaguered brain for which I have no answers to. Again the perennial problem arises; how to quash all those... human feelings that always appear ever so often? I... desperately want to stay away from all these... feelings, but they keep reappearing to haunt me, again and again, ravaging through my fragile psyche.
When will I seek an answer to this question?
3 comments:
I'm really too exhausted from my work even though I want to comment on other entries but I just need to tell you at least this. Happiness together is not something that comes in a short period of time. It is a bridge between two lands, slowly and steadily built, else it will collapse horribly.
But most importantly, before any true happiness can be achieved with anyone else, you must be steady and strong with your own self first.
Please trust me on this even if you feel that my remarks on this are irritating because of my circumstances.
End of semester is coming!!!!!!!!!! Hang in there!!!!
wsmc... I can't figure out who you are.
:-(
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