After 29 days of gruelling writing, I have finally finished this year's NaNoWriMo entry entitled ``disturbed''. The long and short of it is this---it is bad, very bad, exceedingly bad, superlatively bad. The inspiration for this story began in mid-October, where I was feeling somewhat homicidal for some reason, and thought, `hey, wouldn't it be a great idea to try something different and write a disturbing piece of fiction instead of the relatively PG stuff that I had been writing?' I was all ready to go and what have you, but since it was mid-October, I couldn't start on it. But when November rolled in, I realised to my horror that I didn't feel the same kind of... feeling that I had then. And so the entire premise of a disturbing piece of fiction started sizzling out before it got really hot. But I've tried my best and have written 50051 words on it. It's horrible---easily among the worst things I have written.
But I had a streak going. Can't just break it like that, right? Already I didn't finish one thing this year (that whole PhD mess), so I should try to climb out of the rut and finish something that I had initiated after all.
And yes, now, I have the manuscript, that I promptly will burn up and refuse to acknowledge its existence. It is that bad. It is so bad even for a first draft that I'm not ever going to release it for consumption. I've given myself a little leeway in suggesting folks to ask me privately for the work, but frankly, after writing the last twenty thousand words, I'm not really that comfortable letting people into this particular aspect of my headspace.
Good riddance for this year's NaNoWriMo. D=
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Side note 1: Shostakobvich's Ballet Suite 2 (Romance) is a strangely fun piece.
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Side note 2: I think I realise why I don't blog that much any more. Partly it is because I lead a slightly more mundane life, partly because I am keeping most of my thoughts in a paper diary, but partly because Blogger is now getting more and more dysfunctional for use. First they made the HTML editing mode so darn painful to use (why is the custom width of the fixed-width text removed?). Next, the whole layout-with-widgets concept is full of bugs---I added the new NaNoWriMo win badge to my Scribbling blog and it took me a good ten minutes to get it into place. Some of the problems that I was facing include duplicated image elements (what), the new demand of a title for the image (What), and the really terrible saving of the template (WHAT). I know it is more WYSIWYG like now, but its operation is terrible. Is this the way to encourage people to switch over to using Google+? That I'm not so sure. I'm starting to wonder if it is more cost effective to just host my own blogs on one of my servers, and no, it will not be based on Wordpress. It'll probably be a nice Pylons based thing that I write, because apparently that's what I'm doing a lot of these days.
Whelp, that's most of it. Time to get back to reading more books and to stay away from writing for a while. I have this feeling of re-writing that fantasy piece I started on last year for next year's NaNoWriMo, but I think I'm one year too early to be planning for that.
Till next time.
Friday, November 29, 2013
Monday, November 11, 2013
Shadow Warrior
The worst thing that can happen to anyone who actually has to think for a living is to have a massive headache. It is true --- it is actually ridiculously hard to think when you are suffering from some kind of internal pounding that you and the doctor have no real explanation why it is there, except that it shouldn't even be there in the first place. Let me begin a little on what happened.
So about three weeks or so ago I started to have headaches. It started off relatively mild, but it slowly got to the point where it was disruptive. In many previous occurrences, I had mild throbbing sensations at various parts of my left hemisphere, but that throbbing had always been mild and easily ignored. Moreoever, it had a tendency to resolve itself after a day or two. But what happened three days ago was anything like the original discomfort that I was used to dealing with. The pain was throbbing still, but it was holistic and spread all about the head. It was unbearable in the sort of ``I need to think'' sort of way, which really sucked. Seeing the doctor, the diagnosis that I was given was ``tension headache'', which was a fancy term for an idiopathic sort of pain, which was a fancier term for ``we have no idea why you are having headaches so here's a small stack of painkillers to help with the pain''. At least the doctor was diligent enough to let me know of the symptoms I had to look out for in case it was more than just a mere tension headache (any form of dizziness with vomitting was a sign that something more serious was afoot and would require an immediate scan of the brain).
While that tension headache was raging on, I had to keep thinking and coding for a demo that was coming up for the system that I was working on for work. That didn't end well for me because I had to either try thinking with a headache and without painkillers, or try thinking without a headache with the painkillers, but be woozy from the painkillers themselves. It wasn't much of a choice, and somehow I managed to pull through, and the demo was successful.
Ntnva juvyr gur grafvba urnqnpur jnf entvat ba, EK naq V unq n snyyvat bhg. Vg jnf fghcvq --- ur jnagrq gb erag/obeebj zl fnkbcubar, naq V jnf hajvyyvat gb. Vg jbhyq unir raqrq gurer ohg V jnfa'g yvxvat gur snpg gung ur jnf npgviryl gelvat gb fbyvpvg fnyrf bs zl fghss sebz zr naq V envfrq vg gb uvz gung V qvqa'g yvxr vg, naq gura ur whfg qrpvqrq gb rkcybqr naq tb nyy ``qvr zbgureshpxre qvr'' ba zr. Vg jnf n fghcvq snyyvat bhg, ohg V qba'g ernyyl pner nobhg vg nal zber --- rirelbar unf gb zbir ba jvgu yvsr ng bar cbvag be nabgure, naq guvf jnf whfg bar bs gubfr gheavat cbvagf va bar'f yvsr gung bar unf gb qrny jvgu. V'z abg natel jvgu uvz ng nyy, naq V qba'g guvax V npghnyyl unir nal zber pner gb tvir gb fbzrbar yvxr gung. V hfrq gb jbeel nobhg uvz naq jnf jvyyvat gb tvir uvz n unaq be gjb gb trg ol jvgu guvatf, ohg jryy, gvzrf punatr. Fvapr ur qbrfa'g jnag gb gnyx jvgu zr, fb or vg. Fbzr eryngvbafuvcf unir ab arrq sbe fnyingvba nsgre nyy.
Ntnva ba fbzr guvatf, V'z abg fher vs V'z whfg snagnfvmvat/cebwrpgvat be zreryl qvttvat n tenir sbe zl shgher frys gb whzc va jvgu cher uheg. Ohg V xabj bar guvat sbe pregnva --- fur naq V ner vaqrrq gnyxvat gb rnpu bgure, fybjyl ohg fheryl. Gvzr mbarf ner bar bs gur irel fgenatr ohg erny guvatf gung jr arrq gb qrny jvgu nf ybat nf jr yvir ba guvf cynarg naq ner ba yvgreny bccbfvgr raqf, ohg gurer ner fgvyy znal guvatf gung jr pna qb gb oevat gur pbaarpgvba n yvggyr pybfre. Ovg ol ovg V yrnea n yvggyr zber nobhg ure, naq fpnevyl, V'z fgnegvat gb cyna zl shgher jvgu ure va zvaq, gubhtu V'z abg fher vs fur vf qbvat gur fnzr, pbafvqrevat ubj gung jubyr fhowrpg znggre vf pheeragyl va gur inthryl qrsvarq mbarq, cnegyl orpnhfr V qba'g unir rabhtu pbhentr gb pynevsl vg pbzcyrgryl naq cnegyl orpnhfr vg vf abg gur evtug gvzr gb bognva n gehr nafjre. Ohg bar pna ubcr naq cyna, naq vs guvatf ghea bhg terng, vg jbhyq or bar bs gur zbfg jbaqreshy guvatf gb unccra va zl yvsr.
Vs vg snvyf, ng yrnfg V pna gryy zlfrys V unq gevrq.
Ohg gurer ner fbzr guvatf jurer zrrgvat snpr gb snpr vf n zhfg, naq V guvax gur nafjre gb zl pbahaqehz snyyf vagb guvf pngrtbel. Zrnajuvyr V jvyy whfg yvir va iveghny gbezrag ba zl rgreany fbhy jbaqrevat vs fur ybirf zr be vs fur ybirf zr abg. V whfg ubcr gung fur xabjf V qba'g hfr gung sbhe-yrggre jbeq yvtugyl, naq va znal pvephzfgnaprf, gung sbhe-yrggre jbeq jba'g rira nccrne sebz zl yvcf, gubhtu creuncf fbzr bs zl npgvbaf pna fcrnx sbe zlfrys.
On slightly less mushy news, I've finally had a chance to try out the new Shadow Warrior reboot. It has a very different feel to it as compared to the original Shadow Warrior released by 3D Realms --- it was one of the games that I had bought and played from the first Pentium III computer that I had access to at home. Compared to the original, it feels more like an RPG, but compared to many modern FPS, it feels more old school with the large number of battles with the mooks. However, the one thing that makes it different from the other FPSes is the ridiculously overpowered melee attacks that you can pull off with the katana --- it's even more insane than the original Shadow Warrior. There's a lot of twiddling involved with the katana attacks, but those are used mostly to generate semi-mystical ki-powered attacks that augment the katana in various ways. There are also three main trees of upgrades, each running on a different currency, so it doesn't follow the more ``traditional'' type of RPG advancement. I'm enjoying the game so far, but we'll see if it holds out toward the end-game content.
This year's NaNoWriMo entry is turning out to be harder than expected. I was ready to write a completely disturbing piece of fiction, but when November arrived, I suddenly realised to my horror that I had lost the disturbing nature that I had cultivated for this event. So I'm just going to wing it more than usual. Due to the nature of the writing, it's likely that I will not be releasing this for public consumption --- it will be available only on request.
That's all I have for now. Oh right, nearly forgot. I'm not on facebook again, and this time, I'm not sure if I'll ever be back on it. We'll just have to see how things go before I make a decision. Till the next update.
So about three weeks or so ago I started to have headaches. It started off relatively mild, but it slowly got to the point where it was disruptive. In many previous occurrences, I had mild throbbing sensations at various parts of my left hemisphere, but that throbbing had always been mild and easily ignored. Moreoever, it had a tendency to resolve itself after a day or two. But what happened three days ago was anything like the original discomfort that I was used to dealing with. The pain was throbbing still, but it was holistic and spread all about the head. It was unbearable in the sort of ``I need to think'' sort of way, which really sucked. Seeing the doctor, the diagnosis that I was given was ``tension headache'', which was a fancy term for an idiopathic sort of pain, which was a fancier term for ``we have no idea why you are having headaches so here's a small stack of painkillers to help with the pain''. At least the doctor was diligent enough to let me know of the symptoms I had to look out for in case it was more than just a mere tension headache (any form of dizziness with vomitting was a sign that something more serious was afoot and would require an immediate scan of the brain).
While that tension headache was raging on, I had to keep thinking and coding for a demo that was coming up for the system that I was working on for work. That didn't end well for me because I had to either try thinking with a headache and without painkillers, or try thinking without a headache with the painkillers, but be woozy from the painkillers themselves. It wasn't much of a choice, and somehow I managed to pull through, and the demo was successful.
Ntnva juvyr gur grafvba urnqnpur jnf entvat ba, EK naq V unq n snyyvat bhg. Vg jnf fghcvq --- ur jnagrq gb erag/obeebj zl fnkbcubar, naq V jnf hajvyyvat gb. Vg jbhyq unir raqrq gurer ohg V jnfa'g yvxvat gur snpg gung ur jnf npgviryl gelvat gb fbyvpvg fnyrf bs zl fghss sebz zr naq V envfrq vg gb uvz gung V qvqa'g yvxr vg, naq gura ur whfg qrpvqrq gb rkcybqr naq tb nyy ``qvr zbgureshpxre qvr'' ba zr. Vg jnf n fghcvq snyyvat bhg, ohg V qba'g ernyyl pner nobhg vg nal zber --- rirelbar unf gb zbir ba jvgu yvsr ng bar cbvag be nabgure, naq guvf jnf whfg bar bs gubfr gheavat cbvagf va bar'f yvsr gung bar unf gb qrny jvgu. V'z abg natel jvgu uvz ng nyy, naq V qba'g guvax V npghnyyl unir nal zber pner gb tvir gb fbzrbar yvxr gung. V hfrq gb jbeel nobhg uvz naq jnf jvyyvat gb tvir uvz n unaq be gjb gb trg ol jvgu guvatf, ohg jryy, gvzrf punatr. Fvapr ur qbrfa'g jnag gb gnyx jvgu zr, fb or vg. Fbzr eryngvbafuvcf unir ab arrq sbe fnyingvba nsgre nyy.
Ntnva ba fbzr guvatf, V'z abg fher vs V'z whfg snagnfvmvat/cebwrpgvat be zreryl qvttvat n tenir sbe zl shgher frys gb whzc va jvgu cher uheg. Ohg V xabj bar guvat sbe pregnva --- fur naq V ner vaqrrq gnyxvat gb rnpu bgure, fybjyl ohg fheryl. Gvzr mbarf ner bar bs gur irel fgenatr ohg erny guvatf gung jr arrq gb qrny jvgu nf ybat nf jr yvir ba guvf cynarg naq ner ba yvgreny bccbfvgr raqf, ohg gurer ner fgvyy znal guvatf gung jr pna qb gb oevat gur pbaarpgvba n yvggyr pybfre. Ovg ol ovg V yrnea n yvggyr zber nobhg ure, naq fpnevyl, V'z fgnegvat gb cyna zl shgher jvgu ure va zvaq, gubhtu V'z abg fher vs fur vf qbvat gur fnzr, pbafvqrevat ubj gung jubyr fhowrpg znggre vf pheeragyl va gur inthryl qrsvarq mbarq, cnegyl orpnhfr V qba'g unir rabhtu pbhentr gb pynevsl vg pbzcyrgryl naq cnegyl orpnhfr vg vf abg gur evtug gvzr gb bognva n gehr nafjre. Ohg bar pna ubcr naq cyna, naq vs guvatf ghea bhg terng, vg jbhyq or bar bs gur zbfg jbaqreshy guvatf gb unccra va zl yvsr.
Vs vg snvyf, ng yrnfg V pna gryy zlfrys V unq gevrq.
Ohg gurer ner fbzr guvatf jurer zrrgvat snpr gb snpr vf n zhfg, naq V guvax gur nafjre gb zl pbahaqehz snyyf vagb guvf pngrtbel. Zrnajuvyr V jvyy whfg yvir va iveghny gbezrag ba zl rgreany fbhy jbaqrevat vs fur ybirf zr be vs fur ybirf zr abg. V whfg ubcr gung fur xabjf V qba'g hfr gung sbhe-yrggre jbeq yvtugyl, naq va znal pvephzfgnaprf, gung sbhe-yrggre jbeq jba'g rira nccrne sebz zl yvcf, gubhtu creuncf fbzr bs zl npgvbaf pna fcrnx sbe zlfrys.
On slightly less mushy news, I've finally had a chance to try out the new Shadow Warrior reboot. It has a very different feel to it as compared to the original Shadow Warrior released by 3D Realms --- it was one of the games that I had bought and played from the first Pentium III computer that I had access to at home. Compared to the original, it feels more like an RPG, but compared to many modern FPS, it feels more old school with the large number of battles with the mooks. However, the one thing that makes it different from the other FPSes is the ridiculously overpowered melee attacks that you can pull off with the katana --- it's even more insane than the original Shadow Warrior. There's a lot of twiddling involved with the katana attacks, but those are used mostly to generate semi-mystical ki-powered attacks that augment the katana in various ways. There are also three main trees of upgrades, each running on a different currency, so it doesn't follow the more ``traditional'' type of RPG advancement. I'm enjoying the game so far, but we'll see if it holds out toward the end-game content.
This year's NaNoWriMo entry is turning out to be harder than expected. I was ready to write a completely disturbing piece of fiction, but when November arrived, I suddenly realised to my horror that I had lost the disturbing nature that I had cultivated for this event. So I'm just going to wing it more than usual. Due to the nature of the writing, it's likely that I will not be releasing this for public consumption --- it will be available only on request.
That's all I have for now. Oh right, nearly forgot. I'm not on facebook again, and this time, I'm not sure if I'll ever be back on it. We'll just have to see how things go before I make a decision. Till the next update.
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