So, my previous post probably raised a few more eyebrows than what I might want, so I suppose I ought to say some things to justify what exactly do I mean there.
Here's the general idea: I'm sick of my old self and old life, like, really sick of it. So I'm undergoing a renewal process, which includes, among other things, the cleaning up of various online credentials that I have. If you are reading this, chances are, you're already a part of the renewal process; hurray for you because you are important enough to be on the ``inner sanctum'', which is just a fancy name for ``you appear on my newer account''.
If you are not on the newer account, then you're probably dropped from my ``inner sanctum'' because either we have not talked for so long that I think you've forgotten me, or you and I have ``issues'' that need resolution [but I'm not actually interested in resolving them]. Whatever the case, don't bitch about it (you probably won't, because people who even realise that I am hardly available are probably added to the list anyway, and thus not realise that I am ``missing'').
Pretentiousness aside, I just want to keep my sanity. So much has happened, and I'm officially an adult now, in most senses of the word, considering the fact that I have graduated with a degree and so on. Perhaps it is time to actually start thinking like an adult, instead of some overgrown oversized kid who thinks is cool to write computer programs all day and do nothing else.
If you have the [un]fortunate chance of actually interacting with me, you would also realise that there is something innately different in the way I carry myself and do things. Let's just say I have developed a jaded outlook on life and view everything as being existent without having the strong attachments to its existence. Is this a good thing? Nah, I doubt it. But I'm seriously sick of waiting for people to let me down---I might as well seize life by the balls myself and deal with things my way instead of relying on people for help.
Okay, enough angsty rambling. Off to bed I go, and tomorrow is a long day.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Ominous Words
It has begun: odium drove me to fork and SIGKILL aspects of my old life. Soon, the_laptop that you once knew will no longer be the same again.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Fire of Life
It is a well-known saying that one cannot choose one's family but one can choose one's friends. Inasmuch as I don't really want to admit it, the veracity of the statement cannot be denied. Bearing that in mind then, I find myself making a few rather... unpleasant choices when it comes to friends.
You see, I have this predilection of ``dropping'' people whom I deem to be rather... useless to some degree or another. I am of course not looking at this from a purely monetary/power perspective, but rather along the base principles of hedonism---is the presence of the person happiness inducing or wrath/distress inducing? If it is of the former, then I suppose it is fine to have him/her around a little longer, but if it is more of the latter, then perhaps I will have less to do with this person.
The axiom that all people are, by nature, good, has been shattered over the course of the last twenty years of my existence. I have placed trust in many people, and have discovered rather painfully that in most of these people, the trust was misplaced. Now, after a third of my predicted life expectancy has passed, I think it is time to prune the list of people whom I trust to something that is more... manageable.
As ironic as it sounds, I am a rather private person in general. Sure, I keep blogs, I talk a lot and do many things out there, but there are enough parts of me that I do not reveal---they stay within me and nowhere else. Now, as the stakes get higher and the old alliances get shifted or shattered, it is time to withdraw ever more from the cacophony that is the world stage.
So, if you claim to be a friend of mine, and yet have not spoken to me in a manner that I deem to be earnest, chances are, you will hear ever increasingly less from me. It is not that I have a grudge against you, it is just that situation dictates me to take a step backwards into reticence and seek a certain balance within myself. Or it could mean that you were an asshole to me in the past---that is something that you ought to know yourself and should you require me to be explicit about it, you probably should never talk to me again.
It is with great hope that the careful management and pruning of this list of... trusted people will rekindle the fire of life that once lived inside me.
You see, I have this predilection of ``dropping'' people whom I deem to be rather... useless to some degree or another. I am of course not looking at this from a purely monetary/power perspective, but rather along the base principles of hedonism---is the presence of the person happiness inducing or wrath/distress inducing? If it is of the former, then I suppose it is fine to have him/her around a little longer, but if it is more of the latter, then perhaps I will have less to do with this person.
The axiom that all people are, by nature, good, has been shattered over the course of the last twenty years of my existence. I have placed trust in many people, and have discovered rather painfully that in most of these people, the trust was misplaced. Now, after a third of my predicted life expectancy has passed, I think it is time to prune the list of people whom I trust to something that is more... manageable.
As ironic as it sounds, I am a rather private person in general. Sure, I keep blogs, I talk a lot and do many things out there, but there are enough parts of me that I do not reveal---they stay within me and nowhere else. Now, as the stakes get higher and the old alliances get shifted or shattered, it is time to withdraw ever more from the cacophony that is the world stage.
So, if you claim to be a friend of mine, and yet have not spoken to me in a manner that I deem to be earnest, chances are, you will hear ever increasingly less from me. It is not that I have a grudge against you, it is just that situation dictates me to take a step backwards into reticence and seek a certain balance within myself. Or it could mean that you were an asshole to me in the past---that is something that you ought to know yourself and should you require me to be explicit about it, you probably should never talk to me again.
It is with great hope that the careful management and pruning of this list of... trusted people will rekindle the fire of life that once lived inside me.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
der Steppenwolf
And slowly, I will be the only person walking on this path: der Steppenwolf in its full glory.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Life Sucks, Right?
It is a while since I last wrote anything here, and for good cause. There's just so much that is happening in life right now that I... don't really want to think too much about it. Except things are never like that---what we refuse to acknowledge can and most definitely will hurt us if we are not careful about things.
I basically had a whole week of disasters of some sort---I think I turned a few friends into foes, dug deeper into my shell, got stood up by almost all the events that were supposed to happen last week, and got hit with bad news all over the spot, realised that I made a few dumb mistakes prior to everything... well you get the idea.
Life still sucks.
Sometimes I look at myself in despair, and wonder why things are so. Occasionally during those moments I feel like just crying to let out all that uncontrollable stress and tension, but I realise that it has gotten to the point that I no longer know how to cry.
Great. Just great. Already I do not know how to smile, and now I don't know how to cry either. The next thing I'll learn might be that I cannot be angered either.
But as usual, I digress. Despair in life seems to be a relative concept I suppose. Situations are moral-less fixtures---whether the situation is good or bad is highly dependent on the perspective in which the situation is being viewed from. Thus, it is completely likely that the same situation is both positive and negative simutaneously, but I think it probably requires a truly objective mind to identify this duality.
I doubt I have that sort of mind, however. Something about just vacillating between good and bad affect just seems to make it such that I'm literally dominated by emotions to a certain extent. Don't get me wrong, I still operate by logos; it is just that I found that some moments are best dealt with using pathos, and to keep logos as far as possible.
Again, I digress.
I have just read a nice book---maybe I will write about what I read next time.
I basically had a whole week of disasters of some sort---I think I turned a few friends into foes, dug deeper into my shell, got stood up by almost all the events that were supposed to happen last week, and got hit with bad news all over the spot, realised that I made a few dumb mistakes prior to everything... well you get the idea.
Life still sucks.
Sometimes I look at myself in despair, and wonder why things are so. Occasionally during those moments I feel like just crying to let out all that uncontrollable stress and tension, but I realise that it has gotten to the point that I no longer know how to cry.
Great. Just great. Already I do not know how to smile, and now I don't know how to cry either. The next thing I'll learn might be that I cannot be angered either.
But as usual, I digress. Despair in life seems to be a relative concept I suppose. Situations are moral-less fixtures---whether the situation is good or bad is highly dependent on the perspective in which the situation is being viewed from. Thus, it is completely likely that the same situation is both positive and negative simutaneously, but I think it probably requires a truly objective mind to identify this duality.
I doubt I have that sort of mind, however. Something about just vacillating between good and bad affect just seems to make it such that I'm literally dominated by emotions to a certain extent. Don't get me wrong, I still operate by logos; it is just that I found that some moments are best dealt with using pathos, and to keep logos as far as possible.
Again, I digress.
I have just read a nice book---maybe I will write about what I read next time.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Let the Challenge Begin
Life seems to be one colossal dream---the people you meet, the things you do, the things you think about, the successes you enjoyed, the pain that you anguished over, the fear that you experienced---all of these are just figments of an overall dream that makes you who you are. And there doesn't seem to be a provable way of waking from this dream; some might say that one will awaken from the dream when one is dead, but that is something that cannot really be proven given our current understanding.
One colossal dream, marked by periods of happiness and long periods of intense depression; such is the life of a damned person. Am I a damned person? Sometimes I wonder deeply about that thought... many indications seem to suggest that I am actually not that damned, but given the premise that life is one colossal dream, do I even trust what I seem to be seeing?
Hmm... if this life is just a dream, then why am I treating it so seriously? Why am I still unable to take things up and put them down in a more carefree way?
Perhaps life is not a dream after all, and I'm just being all confused about what is real and what isn't. Maybe I'm just delusional and am in need of treatment, or maybe I'm just a crank, a crackpot, an eccentric oddity trying to fit into an orderly world.
Or maybe I'm overanalysing this again... anyway...
The reason why I brought this up was that after being in Singapore for more than 3 months, everything that happened in Pittsburgh seems like a dream away. The people whom I studied, ate, drank, dated and had fun with all seem like apparitions from a bygone past, a past that I'm soon trying to keep unacknowledged. This is almost as bad as back in secondary school, I suppose, where till now I still have... issues... about that place and some of the people.
I think the times I spent in Carnegie-Mellon University were among the best years of my life, having done things that I could only dream about wistfully here. Yet the irony is that the same place that gave me all the joy I could ever dream of, is currently giving me the biggest misery that I ever had to deal with.
Eventually, thinks will work out, one way or another. One way or another indeed...
The chief difference here is that this time, I'm really going this alone.
One colossal dream, marked by periods of happiness and long periods of intense depression; such is the life of a damned person. Am I a damned person? Sometimes I wonder deeply about that thought... many indications seem to suggest that I am actually not that damned, but given the premise that life is one colossal dream, do I even trust what I seem to be seeing?
Hmm... if this life is just a dream, then why am I treating it so seriously? Why am I still unable to take things up and put them down in a more carefree way?
Perhaps life is not a dream after all, and I'm just being all confused about what is real and what isn't. Maybe I'm just delusional and am in need of treatment, or maybe I'm just a crank, a crackpot, an eccentric oddity trying to fit into an orderly world.
Or maybe I'm overanalysing this again... anyway...
The reason why I brought this up was that after being in Singapore for more than 3 months, everything that happened in Pittsburgh seems like a dream away. The people whom I studied, ate, drank, dated and had fun with all seem like apparitions from a bygone past, a past that I'm soon trying to keep unacknowledged. This is almost as bad as back in secondary school, I suppose, where till now I still have... issues... about that place and some of the people.
I think the times I spent in Carnegie-Mellon University were among the best years of my life, having done things that I could only dream about wistfully here. Yet the irony is that the same place that gave me all the joy I could ever dream of, is currently giving me the biggest misery that I ever had to deal with.
Eventually, thinks will work out, one way or another. One way or another indeed...
The chief difference here is that this time, I'm really going this alone.
More Damnation
What's the point of having people surround you when you yourself are not willing to engage in them? Why not just push them away as fiercely as possible, and hope that they never return?
Only then will you have enough to believe that the world hates you and you can continue to hate the world and let that consume the last of your passions.
A reciprocating vicious cycle. Time to be damned.
Only then will you have enough to believe that the world hates you and you can continue to hate the world and let that consume the last of your passions.
A reciprocating vicious cycle. Time to be damned.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Misaligned Ramble...
It feels a little different, writing on Elysie instead of Elyse (no, there's no typo there). First of all, I am sitting much further from my text on Elysie than on Elyse---something about having a fairly large screen I suppose. Secondly, things just feel a little different when one is just sitting down and chilling out a little, with the help of a little bit of alcohol to help soothe the nerves.
The night time air always feels different for me. It is as though being nocturnal was something that I secretly loved to do, that somehow I commune better when there is less light outside. Unfortunately, it would appear that ever since that I have done the LASIK surgery, my night vision hasn't really been the same as it was, and that the glare of lights are still playing havoc on my overall perception of objects around me. For that reason, I actually wear sunglasses even when it is dark out, relying heavily on my rods to provide the necessary resolving power to see better in the dark.
Well, I'm rambling again. I started off trying to write something, and then got severely side tracked as I get FL Studio 9.0 to install on Elyse. Ugh... I can't multitask at all.
This sucks.
The night time air always feels different for me. It is as though being nocturnal was something that I secretly loved to do, that somehow I commune better when there is less light outside. Unfortunately, it would appear that ever since that I have done the LASIK surgery, my night vision hasn't really been the same as it was, and that the glare of lights are still playing havoc on my overall perception of objects around me. For that reason, I actually wear sunglasses even when it is dark out, relying heavily on my rods to provide the necessary resolving power to see better in the dark.
Well, I'm rambling again. I started off trying to write something, and then got severely side tracked as I get FL Studio 9.0 to install on Elyse. Ugh... I can't multitask at all.
This sucks.
Shoot Me In The Heart...
I realise recently that there's a strange progression that is going on. I am starting to become more and more emotionally disturbed, swinging very strongly from one polarity to another. One moment I feel like I don't need the world, and that going alone has always been my destiny, while the next moment I feel wretched and crave for that special someone just to be with.
What the hell is wrong with me?
What the hell is wrong with me?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Spooked
So I am basically rather spooked. This morning, when I woke up, I found that the only thing I could remember was that I was sobbing in my dreams, and someone was hugging me only in my dreams to tell me that things are alright. Of course, the strange thing was that it wasn't any random person, but a particular #cslounge denizen (she shall remain unnamed, though by this description, I have radically reduced the set to something that is rather small to enumerate).
I don't know what my unconscious/subconscious is trying to tell me here. Is it trying to tell me that things are alright? Or is it telling me that it is feeling rather sad that I'm all alone and single and things like that? Or is it telling me somehow that even though I am somewhat ambivalent in terms of emotion, I am actually not in really good shape and thus it is trying to reassure me?
So many interpretations available, each having enough merits to suggest that it is the ``right'' one. But these are all just interpretations of a dream---there is hardly any way of ascertaining which is the most ``correct'' interpretation of them all.
I suppose I don't really know what my unconscious/subconscious is trying to tell me after all.
And yes, life. The last few posts were rather erratic in content---expect this one to develop in a similar fashion. I just find that as the days go by, I end up being grouchier and grouchier, either as a result of people leaving or as the cause of people leaving, where by ``leaving'' I do mean in terms of getting less involved with me in my sorry life.
I don't know... somehow it feels that the people that I once thought I know are like strangers to me now---I hardly know what they are thinking anymore. Maybe I'm turning into a more cynical person having had my emotions ``toyed'' with and my heart torn and smashed into smithereens. Or maybe these folks are like me and have changed their form into something that is much different from before.
What makes this time period special is that this time, I am truly alone. The old support network that I used to rely on to help me get back on my feet is no longer existent due to a variety of reasons, the most striking of which is that people gradually drift away into their own lives. Let's face it---I'm nowhere near any of those people whom I claim to be a part of my support network, so the tendency to drift away eventually is natural.
Besides, if the law of reciprocity were true, this is yet another natural application of the law, since the folks who made up my support network have hardly seek advice from me. Call it karma or dharma (cannot remember which is the correct technical term).
Perhaps it is the time for a revolution of sorts, a reorganising of life, the changing from one phase of life to another. I had more or less foresaw this quite a while back, and perhaps that's why I'm still rather calm as compared to the most obvious reaction I would have a few years back. Well, perhaps not that calm---I still some have some strange macabre thoughts involving blood-drawing and death, but they are not disruptive enough to be considered anything more than a lapse in judgement due to exhaustion from thinking; bottomline is that I'm somewhat calm, and most certainly calm enough to just get things done.
I think that the hot and humid weather doesn't really help much in calming the mind and the soul---there's always this sticky layer of perspiration that clings on the surface of the skin. That said layer is not thick enough to disintegrate into sweat droplets (and thus fall off said skin), nor is it thin enough that it will evaporate fast on its own. Overall muggy feeling---that must contribute to some aspect of the crabby feeling.
Life progresses I suppose, in one way or another. I'm not consumed by an obsession to find a girlfriend and/or get laid, nor am I desperately seeking nonsensical distractions to keep my mind away from things like that. I'm just deciding to take a step backwards and outwards, to withdraw a little into my shell, and contemplate about the next moves that I want to make.
The world's a cruel place man... anyone who says otherwise is either too damn rich or too damn good a liar...
I don't know what my unconscious/subconscious is trying to tell me here. Is it trying to tell me that things are alright? Or is it telling me that it is feeling rather sad that I'm all alone and single and things like that? Or is it telling me somehow that even though I am somewhat ambivalent in terms of emotion, I am actually not in really good shape and thus it is trying to reassure me?
So many interpretations available, each having enough merits to suggest that it is the ``right'' one. But these are all just interpretations of a dream---there is hardly any way of ascertaining which is the most ``correct'' interpretation of them all.
I suppose I don't really know what my unconscious/subconscious is trying to tell me after all.
And yes, life. The last few posts were rather erratic in content---expect this one to develop in a similar fashion. I just find that as the days go by, I end up being grouchier and grouchier, either as a result of people leaving or as the cause of people leaving, where by ``leaving'' I do mean in terms of getting less involved with me in my sorry life.
I don't know... somehow it feels that the people that I once thought I know are like strangers to me now---I hardly know what they are thinking anymore. Maybe I'm turning into a more cynical person having had my emotions ``toyed'' with and my heart torn and smashed into smithereens. Or maybe these folks are like me and have changed their form into something that is much different from before.
What makes this time period special is that this time, I am truly alone. The old support network that I used to rely on to help me get back on my feet is no longer existent due to a variety of reasons, the most striking of which is that people gradually drift away into their own lives. Let's face it---I'm nowhere near any of those people whom I claim to be a part of my support network, so the tendency to drift away eventually is natural.
Besides, if the law of reciprocity were true, this is yet another natural application of the law, since the folks who made up my support network have hardly seek advice from me. Call it karma or dharma (cannot remember which is the correct technical term).
Perhaps it is the time for a revolution of sorts, a reorganising of life, the changing from one phase of life to another. I had more or less foresaw this quite a while back, and perhaps that's why I'm still rather calm as compared to the most obvious reaction I would have a few years back. Well, perhaps not that calm---I still some have some strange macabre thoughts involving blood-drawing and death, but they are not disruptive enough to be considered anything more than a lapse in judgement due to exhaustion from thinking; bottomline is that I'm somewhat calm, and most certainly calm enough to just get things done.
I think that the hot and humid weather doesn't really help much in calming the mind and the soul---there's always this sticky layer of perspiration that clings on the surface of the skin. That said layer is not thick enough to disintegrate into sweat droplets (and thus fall off said skin), nor is it thin enough that it will evaporate fast on its own. Overall muggy feeling---that must contribute to some aspect of the crabby feeling.
Life progresses I suppose, in one way or another. I'm not consumed by an obsession to find a girlfriend and/or get laid, nor am I desperately seeking nonsensical distractions to keep my mind away from things like that. I'm just deciding to take a step backwards and outwards, to withdraw a little into my shell, and contemplate about the next moves that I want to make.
The world's a cruel place man... anyone who says otherwise is either too damn rich or too damn good a liar...
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Friends are Transient---Only Death and Taxes are Certain
And so it begins again, the self-imposed social isolation from the things that distract and annoy me at the same time. Once more I find that the so-called ``friends'' of mine are just nothing but apparitions that flit about carelessly, tipping trash cans and crashing into fragile feelings.
People's lives are evolving yet again, and we find that as time goes by, the divergence gets greater and greater.
I've been a fool to think that friends last forever.
Nothing lasts forever---for every beginning, there is an end. For every end, there will be a new beginning. And the cycle repeats itself, ad nauseum.
Why the sudden bitterness? Probably from a few revelations that I seem to be getting from observing how my world is simultaneously recreating itself and destroying it self at the same time, and from watching other people's manoeuvres in life. It seems that I'm not in the best possible shape there is.
Alright, I'm rambling even now... I should stop. Maybe more will come later...
People's lives are evolving yet again, and we find that as time goes by, the divergence gets greater and greater.
I've been a fool to think that friends last forever.
Nothing lasts forever---for every beginning, there is an end. For every end, there will be a new beginning. And the cycle repeats itself, ad nauseum.
Why the sudden bitterness? Probably from a few revelations that I seem to be getting from observing how my world is simultaneously recreating itself and destroying it self at the same time, and from watching other people's manoeuvres in life. It seems that I'm not in the best possible shape there is.
Alright, I'm rambling even now... I should stop. Maybe more will come later...
Monday, September 07, 2009
Confused Lamentations
Charades after charades, conspiracies after conspiracies, love after love, pain after pain.
Things do occur in cycles huh.
Again, I am lamenting a little about life (or what is left of it), and just contemplating about the various aspects of life that I cannot fully control. It is strange though, to be thinking about things such as this, when there are probably more weighty issues to think about.
One thing that you might have noticed from reading posts here is that the number of posts have gone down, and are getting more and more sporadic in nature---that's because I've [re]started writing entries in a personal log that is no where available online, just so that I can spew more words than what the standard social norms might want to allow.
I'm not sure if I'm feeling down only because I am feeling as though I'm about to come down with something---the body is lethargic and the mind is slow while the brain has a dull throbbing headache through it. So disquieting.
I have a couple of personal projects lined up, and if time permits, I might be able to talk more about them. Meanwhile, I probably ought to get back to work or something like that...
Things do occur in cycles huh.
Again, I am lamenting a little about life (or what is left of it), and just contemplating about the various aspects of life that I cannot fully control. It is strange though, to be thinking about things such as this, when there are probably more weighty issues to think about.
One thing that you might have noticed from reading posts here is that the number of posts have gone down, and are getting more and more sporadic in nature---that's because I've [re]started writing entries in a personal log that is no where available online, just so that I can spew more words than what the standard social norms might want to allow.
I'm not sure if I'm feeling down only because I am feeling as though I'm about to come down with something---the body is lethargic and the mind is slow while the brain has a dull throbbing headache through it. So disquieting.
I have a couple of personal projects lined up, and if time permits, I might be able to talk more about them. Meanwhile, I probably ought to get back to work or something like that...
Friday, September 04, 2009
Unbeautiful
Hmm... RX linked this up some time back, right about when Ida broke up with me, and only now do I have the time to listen to it.
Maybe I will talk more some other time...
Unbeautiful------Lesley RoyI dunno... I seem to still be affected by this song...
Don't hang up, can we talk?
So confused, it's like I'm lost.
What went wrong? What made you go?
Don't pretend you don't know...
This is me, I'm unchangeable.
When did we fall apart?
Or did you lie from the start?
When you said it's only you;
I was blind, such a fool...
Thinking we were unbreakable.
It was you and me against the world,
And you promised me forever more.
Was it something that I said?
Was it something that I did?
'Cause I gotta know what made me unbeautiful.
I've been told what's done is done,
To let it go and carry on.
And deep inside I know that's true,
I'm stuck in time, stuck on you...
We were still untouchable.
It was you and me against the world,
And you promised me forever more.
Was it something that I said?
Was it something that I did?
'Cause I gotta know what made me unbeautiful.
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up,
'Cause I'm only dreamin'.
Get out, get out, get out, get out
Get out of my head now...
Because we're much better all together...
Can't let go!
It was you and me against the world,
And you promised me forever more...
Was it something that I said?
Was it something that I did?
'Cause I gotta know what made me unbeautiful...
It was you and me against the world,
And you promised me forever more...
Was it something that I said?
Was it something that I did?
'Cause I gotta know what made me unbeautiful...
Made me unbeautiful.
Maybe I will talk more some other time...
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
You Should Have Flashed Me Instead of Making Fun of Me
So yesterday I was going home from work, and was walking past a covered amphitheatre to get to the shopping mall when I was accosted by a pretty young thing in a black two-piece business suit with a skirt. Naturally, I was not too enthused at that time because it was late (nearly 2000hrs) and I wanted to get some errands done, so I just walked on, with no change in my velocity vector.
Usually that would spell the end of things, and there wouldn't be a post.
What happened was simultaneously the most silly and disturbing thing that occurred. No, she did not flash at me, but rather, she made a very snarky comment.
``Oh, the sun is very bright hor?''
Eight o'clock at night, and the sun being bright? Surely you jest? To put things into a better perspective, I was listening to my music player which was integrated with my sunglasses [so that I don't have to waste time using my eyes to tell people to leave me alone]. The sunglasses help too even though it is fairly dark because it helps to reduce the glare and halo from those point sources of light.
And so, because of the said sunglasses, I was greeted with such a snarky comment. I mean, in the bid to be ``friendlier'' so that she could get what she wanted (which was very likely some survey of some sort, or even some credit application thing), she decided to make what she thought was a witty and interesting comment, without realising that not all comments that one thinks are witty are indeed so. Heck, she probably had a better chance of catching my attention by flashing at me.
All she did now was to make me chagrined enough to write an entry on how people now are not using their brains correctly to obtain what they want.
It is true though, the overall scheme of things. People these days have become so individualistic that they sort of forgot that if they have want help from others, they will need to ``prostrate themselves'' in order to get the said help, and of course I do not mean this literally. It is a fact of life that one tries to at least appear sincere or serious when one is seeking another's help. So imagine my confusion and anger when I am greeted by such a snarky comment. What if I had a true medical condition that demanded that I wear sunglasses (conjunctivitis comes to mind)? What would happen then?
I suppose this ties in with the whole ``I will try to put you down as much as I can'' situation that is common in Singapore. Ever since I was young with all the rather obvious skin allergies and rashes, I've sort of known this fact. In a bid to be friendly, people become too forward, and very quickly create an odious aura about them. The veneer of civility seems to be grossly misinterpreted by a lot of people here.
How can we be world class if we don't even know when to be friendly?
Usually that would spell the end of things, and there wouldn't be a post.
What happened was simultaneously the most silly and disturbing thing that occurred. No, she did not flash at me, but rather, she made a very snarky comment.
``Oh, the sun is very bright hor?''
Eight o'clock at night, and the sun being bright? Surely you jest? To put things into a better perspective, I was listening to my music player which was integrated with my sunglasses [so that I don't have to waste time using my eyes to tell people to leave me alone]. The sunglasses help too even though it is fairly dark because it helps to reduce the glare and halo from those point sources of light.
And so, because of the said sunglasses, I was greeted with such a snarky comment. I mean, in the bid to be ``friendlier'' so that she could get what she wanted (which was very likely some survey of some sort, or even some credit application thing), she decided to make what she thought was a witty and interesting comment, without realising that not all comments that one thinks are witty are indeed so. Heck, she probably had a better chance of catching my attention by flashing at me.
All she did now was to make me chagrined enough to write an entry on how people now are not using their brains correctly to obtain what they want.
It is true though, the overall scheme of things. People these days have become so individualistic that they sort of forgot that if they have want help from others, they will need to ``prostrate themselves'' in order to get the said help, and of course I do not mean this literally. It is a fact of life that one tries to at least appear sincere or serious when one is seeking another's help. So imagine my confusion and anger when I am greeted by such a snarky comment. What if I had a true medical condition that demanded that I wear sunglasses (conjunctivitis comes to mind)? What would happen then?
I suppose this ties in with the whole ``I will try to put you down as much as I can'' situation that is common in Singapore. Ever since I was young with all the rather obvious skin allergies and rashes, I've sort of known this fact. In a bid to be friendly, people become too forward, and very quickly create an odious aura about them. The veneer of civility seems to be grossly misinterpreted by a lot of people here.
How can we be world class if we don't even know when to be friendly?
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