My Ocarinas are Finally Here!

And yes! My Ocarinas are finally here. Here's a look at them:



And don't they sound beautiful?

A Lost Cause...

《执迷不悔》—王菲

只一次我执著面对，任性地沉醉。
我并不在乎，这是错还是对。
就算是深陷，我不顾一切。
就算是执迷，我也执迷不悔。

别说我应该放弃，应该睁开眼。
我用我的心，去看去感觉。
你并不是我，又怎能了解。
就算是执迷，（就）让我执迷不悔。

我不是你们想的如此完美，
我承认有时也会辨不清真伪。
并非我不愿意走出迷堆，
只是这一次，这次是自己而不是谁。

要我用谁的心去体会，真真切切的感受周围。
就算痛苦，就算是泪，也是属于我的伤悲。
我还能用谁的心去体会，真真切切的感受周围。
就算疲倦，就算是累，也只能执迷而不悔。

别说我应该放弃，应该睁开眼。
我用我的心，去看去感觉。
你并不是我，又怎能了解。
就算是执迷，（就）让我执迷不悔。

我不是你们想的如此完美，
我承认有时也会辨不清真伪。
并非我不愿意走出迷堆，
只是这一次，这次是自己而不是谁。

要我用谁的心去体会，真真切切的感受周围。
就算痛苦，就算是泪，也是属于我的伤悲。
我还能用谁的心去体会，真真切切的感受周围。
就算疲倦，就算是累，也只能执迷而不悔。

要我用谁的心去体会，真真切切的感受周围。
就算痛苦，就算是泪，也是属于我的伤悲。
我还能用谁的心去体会，真真切切的感受周围。
就算疲倦，就算是累，也只能执迷而不悔。

A lost cause... I have become...

NaNoWriMo Warm-up Snippet #6

I begin:

...It was a little after midnight. Feeling a little peckish, he got out of his chair, grabbed his coat and left his apartment. As he walked down the stairs of the block, he slipped into his coat and braced himself for the harsh wind that was blowing outside.

Stepping out of the block, he was immediately greeted with the strong and cold wind of the deep night. Huddling deeper into his coat and slouching against the wind, he marched on stoically, towards the nearby Café, the only food place that was open at that time of the night.

As his face was blasted with the cold air, he found himself thinking once again about her. Her warm demeanour, her soulful eyes—no. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. It was never going to be possible; he should stop thinking about what was never to be. His mind a blank now, he trudged on towards the Café. Upon reaching, he reached out and pulled open the door, and went in.

It was different from the last time that he remembered it. The music was playing loudly in the background, the same as before. But it was the people, the people were different; the last time he came to the place, there were only a handful of night owls who kept largely to themselves, nursing whatever beverage they had bought. But it was different tonight; not only there were many more people, they seemed to be more jovial and friendly to each other.

He didn't care. Having had enough of the world at the moment, he ordered his snack and waited impatiently while it was being prepared. Then, when the order completed, he took his plate of sandwich and chips and made his way to the only corner of the café where it was still fairly quiet. Pulling the chair away from the table, he sat down, and nibbled on his sandwich.

Then she came in through the door. She was dressed in black all over, a sexy gothic kind of black. Her black gloved hands removed her silky black trench coat revealing a tank top hugging close to her luscious curves, and her long pants tracing the sensual contours of her rear and her legs, before stopping short at her calves, where black stilettoes continued the cover. She was smiling, and the radiance of her dazzling smile and her fair features made her so tempting.

Of course she was noticed. No one in the Café could ever miss a sight like that—her sexed up attire screamed for attention, and the attention was given. Some of the guys in the Café approached her, offering to buy her a drink or two, while some blokes even made suggestive passes. But she ignored them all, and walked on instead, still smiling sweetly, but to have come seemingly with a single purpose.

He couldn't be bothered. He was still nibbling on his sandwich when he found that someone had moved the chair across him and sat down. Mildly irritated that his solitude was encroached upon, he looked up with the intention to scold, but what he saw made him lose his will.

She was sitting directly opposite him. Her long black silky hair flowing and resting comfortably across her bare shoulders. And her soft eyes positively twinkled as she looked at him, and together with her smile, they promptly melted his heart.

A series of Unfortunate events

And so it is, a series of unfortunate events that have occurred recently. Granted, not all of the stuff affect me personally (read: as in me experiencing the event), but they still affect me all the same.

First off, something that is of a global issue. Thailand had a bloodless coup in which the military took over the government, thereby excising the position of the previous prime minister. All these before the newly arranged elections which was due sometime in October. *shakes head* What is the world turning into...?

Naq EK'f eryngvbafuvc sryy ncneg. Sbe fbzr haxabja ernfba, gurl whfg... sryy ncneg. Dhvgr fnqqravat; ur chg fb zhpu snvgu va gur eryngvbafuvc, ohg gura vg sryy guebhtu. Gur bayl guvat gung V ubcr vf gung ur vf abg fb urneg oebxrarq naq zragnyyl ybfg gung ur qbrf ernyyl fvyyl naq fghcvq guvatf gb uvzfrys. N cvgl gung V nz ab ybatre arne uvz—V pna bayl qb fb zhpu sebz guvf fvqr bs gur jbeyq.

Homework work load is starting to increase. Almost all of the initial advantage of advanced knowledge that I have is no longer available; the material of the courses have started to cross the threshold of the A-level syllabus. Time to work much harder now, I guess... All these homework grading schemes are killing me. It now seems that I do not have an advantage of completing my homework early, considering the fact that I spend a considerable amount of time trying to learn the material on my own, and even more time trying to apply what I've read on the question set. Frustrating. Maybe I should only do my homework about one day before at most so that I can perform better in the homework. This is starting to become crucial, as homework does count as factors of the final grade that I will have. Already I'm missing the 90% score requirement; I really don't know how am I supposed to be able to bring myself up to 90% without killing myself in the process.

Eryngvbafuvc ceboyrzf nobhaq. V sbhaq gung gurer ner n srj tveyf jubz V frrz gb unir qrirybcrq n yvxvat sbe, ohg V qba'g xabj ubj gb cebprrq. Creuncf V fubhyq whfg xrrc ernyyl dhvrg nobhg vg nyy, naq whfg ubcr gung gurl yvxr zr gbb. Ba n frcnengr abgr, V frevbhfyl guvax gung gur Fvatncberna pebjq qbrfa'g yvxr zr gbb zhpu, rfcrpvnyyl MJ. Thrff univat fgenvarq eryngvbafuvcf ner cneg naq cnepry bs jung qrsvarf zr gb or zr.

Like Jess, I'm starting to have serious doubts on my own abilities in my purported "pet" field—Computer Science. All the technical mumbo-jumbo, weird visualisation techniques and strange and arcane nuances of the language that they are teaching are starting to seriously make me reconsider my field of study. It does not help that everyone around me seems to be even more geeky on the topic than I am; guess that means I'm either meeting my match, or have already been pwned a long time ago. Either way, I am not feeling too good about myself on this issue. I'll just have to stick it out and hope to survive well enough so as to be able to do research next time.

Naq Avpbyr, ure ernpgvba frrzf jrveq. Ba gur bar unaq, fur frrzf cerggl pbby nobhg orvat sevraqf, lrg V frafrq n pregnva sbez bs vauvovgvba. Gur ivorf ner abg tbbq; fur frrzf gb or gheavat vagb lrg nabgure LG, jub, ol abj, unir pbzcyrgryl rkpbzzhavpngrq jvgu zr. Vs V fnl gung V'z hapbaprearq, V'z ylvat. Gurfr cnggreaf ner fgnegvat gb jbeel zr; V ubcr gung vg jba'g unccra, gubhtu V xabj va gur qrrcrfrg erprffrf bs zl zvaq gung vg jvyy unccra abarguryrff; bayl jurgure vg vf abj be yngre. Ohg vg jvyy qrsvavgryl bpphe. V'z fb hfrq gb gur fvtaf bs orvat ba gur iretr bs rkpbzzhavpngvba gung V pna fzryy vg pbzvat rira orsber vg neevirf.

And the department, they changed the prerequisite structure of our CS Major course. They have reduced the level of our current programming course from 200 to 100. And they increased the unit count from 9.0 to 10.0. What makes it worse is the fact that all these changes are done when we are almost a third into the course, and there is no retroactive fixing of our units. Maddening indeed.

I guess that all these are bad enough for now.

Ed: Yes, I am well aware that there are paragraphs of strange-looking words. They are in code due to certain sensitivities.

Feeling low

This week feels weird. For some strange reason, I just feel low. It seems like the initial advantage of the A-level syllabus is slowly drying up, and it's time to be even more hardworking now.

Made a few silly mistakes in my Math homework; when computing the negation of a statement, I negated the relation in the existentional/universal quantifier. That made me lose 5 marks for the homework (out of 60). Then, for a question which required a choice of the correct statement, I wrote the wrong option, but due to the fact that I did not incorporate an explanation of my reasoning, I lost 10 marks for that part. So, I nailed myself with a maximum score of 75%. :-( This sucks...

My homework scores seem to be falling as time goes by. Each time I match my homework answers with my neighbours', they seem to be totally and absolutely wrong. Time to stop doing homework too early... where the stuff that I self-learn is not as effective as that of what the Professor teaches.

On a separate note, I'm starting on the final plans for the plot for my novel-to-be for NaNoWriMo. Having not written narrative fiction for so long, I find myself being rusty in terms of trying to put together a decent plot. This is especially so as I'm attempting to write a *gasp* romance novel.

Whether the novel flops or not will be seen in time... I may post up snippets of it while I'm working on it in November when NaNoWriMo is in operation.

A pair of bittersweet songs

《至少我走得比你早》 卢巧音 你没有想过，我会说分手， 也许太习惯，我在你左右。 虽然离开你有很多理由， 可看见你这样惊讶，也足够。 我想得，比你多，陪你一起跟寂寞。 我性格，比你强，怎样做你的绵羊？ 我年轻，比你小，不信快乐找不到。 抬起头，开了口…… 最后我比你骄傲！从此不做你的牢！ 想不到你的好，记得和你的争吵。 想到老可到老，可是和你做不到。 如果你爱得比我少，至少我走得比你早。 你没有想过，我会说分手， 除非以为我，什么都忍受。 就算你这时候，努力挽留， 不过是你不能接受，我先走。 我想得，比你多，陪你一起更寂寞。 我性格，比你强，怎样做你的绵羊？ 我年轻，比你小，不信快乐找不到。 抬起头，开了口…… 最后我比你骄傲！从此不做你的牢！ 想不到你的好，记得和你的争吵。 想到老可到老，可是和你做不到。 如果你爱得比我少，至少我走得比你早。 轰轰烈烈的开口…… 最后我比你骄傲！从此不做你的牢！ 想不到你的好，记得和你的争吵。 想到老可到老，可是和你做不到。 如果你爱得比我少，幸好我走得比你早。

《好心分手》（粤） 卢巧音 是否很驚訝，講不出說話, 沒錯我是說：“你想分手嗎？” 曾給你馴服到　就像綿羊， 何解會反咬你一下，你知嗎？ 回頭望，伴你走，從來未曾幸福過。 赴過湯，蹈過火，沿途為何沒愛河？ 下半生，陪住你，懷疑快樂也不多。 沒有心，別再拖…… 好心一早放開我！從頭努力也坎坷！ 通通不要好過，來年歲月那麼多。 為繼續而繼續，沒有好處還是我。 若註定有一點苦楚，不如自己親手割破。 是否不甘心，首先給撇下， 換了你是我，你忍得到嗎？ 捱得過無限次，寂寞凌遲， 人心態早已看得化，也可怕…… 回頭望，伴你走，從來未曾幸福過。 赴過湯，蹈過火，沿途為何沒愛河？ 下半生，陪住你，懷疑快樂也不多。 沒有心，別再拖…… 好心一早放開我！從頭努力也坎坷！ 通通不要好過，來年歲月那麼多。 為繼續而繼續，直接不過承認錯， 若勉強也分到不多，不如甚麼也摔破。 難捱就無謂再拖…… 好心一早放開我！從頭努力也坎坷！ 通通不要好過，來年歲月那麼多。 為繼續而繼續，沒有好處還是我。 若註定有一點苦楚，不如自己親手割破。

A pair of bittersweet songs from the same singer; one's in Mandarin while the other is in Cantonese. Read the lyrics, and compare their level of bitterness...

*sigh*

No mood to write more. :-(

沢尻エリカ

She can sing! Oh my... *swoons*

And yeah, if you haven't realised, I simply adore 沢尻エリカ! She's like the human equivalent of Edythe Fujitsu~!

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

My path in life is solitary; people come by, and walk beside me only for a fleeting moment. It's always the same; when I try to change, I realise I end up on the same road that I knew.

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

And my dreams were shattered, more than once. And the world, it doesn't care. It moves on, and I go on solitarily.

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

But it is the few closest friends that I have left, Chinghua, Jessica, Xiaolu and Cuilin who are always there when I need them. What am I to do if I can't find them?

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

A constant dilemma on who I really am. Am I the technogeek that I make myself out to be, or am I something more? Will I ever be as human as I wish to be?

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

But barely. Sometimes, it takes effort to just—have the will to stay alive. But the journey is still as solitary as before.

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

And so. *sigh*

I walk alone on the boulevard of broken dreams...