The week is just about done, and things are indeed starting to fall into place somewhat. One silly thing that I keep having problems over is the relative confusion over the dates, since I keep thinking that Sep 01 is on Saturday, as opposed to Monday. That is fast changing however, due to the fact that it is the Labour Day weekend, which pretty much means free food and a day of rest [of sorts].
Homework has started to stream in slowly, and life is starting to look really different now, since my priorities and modes of operations have shifted a little here and there. It's a strange year ahead, and I know it deep within my bones.
I can't seem to be able to write more, so I shall just stop here. Perhaps a cycle through Schenley will help make things a little more palatable.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Lily Was Here
"Lily was here" is a fun song for the alto-sax. Now I want an alto-sax badly... I'll probably buy one when I return to Singapore.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Blurb
Indeed, it just feels so long, since the last time I actually wrote anything here. School has begun, and like all things related to school, there is much to be done before I actually have the chance to just sit down and catch a bit of breath.
The week is almost done, and honestly, the outlook seems alright. Networks does prove to be a more interesting class than Operating Systems, and of course there's the whole thing about Algorithms that makes it literally interesting.
There is much reading/writing to be done, and it will indeed be a most fruitful semester. Will I be stressed out under the onslaught of all that heads my way? That, I cannot forsee, because it is still too early to say. Homework has been released, and with a little advanced planning, I ought to be able to get most of it done before they are actually due. That is of course the more important aspect of things.
So this is my final year in Carnegie Mellon University; there's so much that I like about this place, and yet as time passes the level of alienation just increases slowly but surely. Perhaps it is because of the rapid changes that are occurring in the environment, or it could just be me being not very responsive to the changes and thus feeling the awkwardness. Perhaps I will figure out things as and when they arrive, and that things will be much nicer in the long run.
And yes, SSA has its first chill. I'm glad that I only have to be around for less than 30 minutes, since I have Kiltie Band rehearsal at 1730hrs. I don't want to undergo unnecessary steps just to humour the legions of people who have vastly different views of life than me.
That's all for now, perhaps. I need to grab some food before I collapse from hunger (last meal was at about 0800hrs).
The week is almost done, and honestly, the outlook seems alright. Networks does prove to be a more interesting class than Operating Systems, and of course there's the whole thing about Algorithms that makes it literally interesting.
There is much reading/writing to be done, and it will indeed be a most fruitful semester. Will I be stressed out under the onslaught of all that heads my way? That, I cannot forsee, because it is still too early to say. Homework has been released, and with a little advanced planning, I ought to be able to get most of it done before they are actually due. That is of course the more important aspect of things.
So this is my final year in Carnegie Mellon University; there's so much that I like about this place, and yet as time passes the level of alienation just increases slowly but surely. Perhaps it is because of the rapid changes that are occurring in the environment, or it could just be me being not very responsive to the changes and thus feeling the awkwardness. Perhaps I will figure out things as and when they arrive, and that things will be much nicer in the long run.
And yes, SSA has its first chill. I'm glad that I only have to be around for less than 30 minutes, since I have Kiltie Band rehearsal at 1730hrs. I don't want to undergo unnecessary steps just to humour the legions of people who have vastly different views of life than me.
That's all for now, perhaps. I need to grab some food before I collapse from hunger (last meal was at about 0800hrs).
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Pressure Mounts
And so, the pressure mounts, really, for it is truly a moment of desperation of sorts. All hopes placed in a single basket, which makes things really uncomfortable and completely frightening. I chose this path myself, and through the various levels of inaction, have now to suffer for my folly.
How am I to cope with this? How am I to be able to handle this problem now?
I know not the answer except to bury my head low and work on this as best as I can.
How am I to cope with this? How am I to be able to handle this problem now?
I know not the answer except to bury my head low and work on this as best as I can.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Academic Year Begins
After a rather odd journey halfway across the world, I'm finally back at where my current journey was left off. So strange, the first time I set foot here was almost two years ago, and I found the place rather different to begin with. Today, when I set foot upon it again after being immersed in my home world for a good 3 months, I find that the old feeling of something being different returning once more.
So the new academic year begins.
So the new academic year begins.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Radio Silence Once More
Once more I find myself seated at the airport again, waiting for my flight out of Singapore to return to Pittsburgh, where my current life is located. Transitional locations... things that till this day, never cease to amaze me. It will be a while till I'm able to get connected to anything else, and so meanwhile I shall just declare a moment's radio silence, at least until I've arrived at my final destination for this trip.
This upcoming year promises to be a rather interesting one, considring the fact that there are so many things that I'll need to deal with, among which include the concept of graduation. All things have more or less come to full circle, and this will once more prove to be one of those things that I'll need to learn how to deal with.
That said, it is almost time for boarding. I shall talk more about these at a more convenient time.
Till next time.
This upcoming year promises to be a rather interesting one, considring the fact that there are so many things that I'll need to deal with, among which include the concept of graduation. All things have more or less come to full circle, and this will once more prove to be one of those things that I'll need to learn how to deal with.
That said, it is almost time for boarding. I shall talk more about these at a more convenient time.
Till next time.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
2GiB for Edythe-EEE
So I've upgraded the RAM on Edythe-EEE from 512MiB to 2GiB. Overall, she does seem a little more responsive, and this makes me glad.
Now I've really achieved what I perceive to be the best set-up for Edythe-EEE. Code hacking ought to be fun.
Next up ought to be the upgrade of the battery.
Now I've really achieved what I perceive to be the best set-up for Edythe-EEE. Code hacking ought to be fun.
Next up ought to be the upgrade of the battery.
sftp, ssh, scp
Just a quick blurb. ssh -X will allow X-forwarding provided you have a running X-server on the host machine (an example for Microsoft Windows would be Xming). sftp allows simple FTP-style manipulations of SSL.
Recursive copies over SSL are performed with scp -r user@hostname:remotepath localpath from the *nix prompt.
Cygwin works well in supporting these.
That's all.
Recursive copies over SSL are performed with scp -r user@hostname:remotepath localpath from the *nix prompt.
Cygwin works well in supporting these.
That's all.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Mild Panic Prior to Party
So, roughly 20+ hours before the annual meet-up amongst the scholars, I'm starting to have my usual dose of misgivings. The reasons are still the same as before—I just don't feel that I might fit in well.
Then why the heck do I still attend such meet-ups? It is indeed a rather interesting problem. Honestly, I don't believe that I have a really good reason why this is so, but one thing that I can think about is the fact that deep inside, I'm still human and maintaining good contacts with these folks helps in the preservation of my humanity (of sorts).
The sad thing of course is that each time after these meet-ups, I tend to become even more morose for a while. Maybe I feel inferior to what they have done; maybe I'm just a plain worrier. I honestly have no idea whatsoever. Perhaps this time round, when the numbers are fewer and made up of people that I sort of know a little more, I can be a little more comfortable with myself. Hmm... on a semi-related note, how crazy ought I to be? My craziness isn't KY-styled, nor is it Ding-styled; mine is notoriously geeky and over-the-top at times. Maybe I ought to bring a couple of machines over with the intention of sitting down and programming should the need arise.
Eww... I think that it defeats the whole purpose of turning up to the gathering/party. I should just be normal; no one else is going to bring a laptop, let alone two. Awww, screw it. I'll just bring along my laptops, and see how it all goes on. Some of these things... just need to be figured out on the spot, and worrying about it before hand is so not going to be useful, at all.
On an unrelated note, I've finished watching Black Lagoon. This is more adult-themed than most of the other animes that I've watched, in the sense that it has much more explicit violence involved in it. Storyline-wise, it wasn't too bad; the art style was less cutesy than the "usual" anime style and a little more realistic in feel [for an anime]. Hellsing, the other anime that I've completed watching some time back, is similar in genre but boasts a more stylised animation technique, which makes it all the more spooky, as compared to Black Lagoon. Both are excellent animes, though their content matter is more suited for a mature audience.
Deus Ex is one computer game that I've recently embarked on. It is an interesting game in its own right, mixing role-playing elements (like skills and inventories) with first-person shooting. The gameplay of Deus Ex is similar to that of Hitman, in the sense that there's a lot of sneaking around involved—it is neigh impossible to play Deus Ex or Hitman using an all-out brute force approach. Firstly, there is a severe lack of availability of heavy weapons and ammunitions, which makes it more tactically sound to rely on stealth and sneaky weapons. Secondly, the areas of combat are really restrictive, unlike in games like Quake, where the expansive landscape and relative abundance of ammunition and weapons makes it much easier to engage in armed combat.
Which style of gameplay do I prefer? I like games like Quake and Unreal Tournament for their no-nonsense frag-fest, but sometimes, all the non-stop action is nasty on the eyes, because when playing these fast-paced games, I actually blink even less than usual (I'm known to blink very little to start with), which makes eye irritation and fatigue to be a real issue. So, sneaking games like Deus Ex is a refreshing change for me for once in a while, though the intricate plot sometimes makes it irritating. Deus Ex doesn't suffer that tremendously as compared to other games in its genre (like Hexen), but it's long narrative does sometime cause some irritation.
So, while Deus Ex is a refreshing change, I doubt I'm going to dump Quake or Unreal Tournament anytime soon. That's about it for now, I think.
Then why the heck do I still attend such meet-ups? It is indeed a rather interesting problem. Honestly, I don't believe that I have a really good reason why this is so, but one thing that I can think about is the fact that deep inside, I'm still human and maintaining good contacts with these folks helps in the preservation of my humanity (of sorts).
The sad thing of course is that each time after these meet-ups, I tend to become even more morose for a while. Maybe I feel inferior to what they have done; maybe I'm just a plain worrier. I honestly have no idea whatsoever. Perhaps this time round, when the numbers are fewer and made up of people that I sort of know a little more, I can be a little more comfortable with myself. Hmm... on a semi-related note, how crazy ought I to be? My craziness isn't KY-styled, nor is it Ding-styled; mine is notoriously geeky and over-the-top at times. Maybe I ought to bring a couple of machines over with the intention of sitting down and programming should the need arise.
Eww... I think that it defeats the whole purpose of turning up to the gathering/party. I should just be normal; no one else is going to bring a laptop, let alone two. Awww, screw it. I'll just bring along my laptops, and see how it all goes on. Some of these things... just need to be figured out on the spot, and worrying about it before hand is so not going to be useful, at all.
On an unrelated note, I've finished watching Black Lagoon. This is more adult-themed than most of the other animes that I've watched, in the sense that it has much more explicit violence involved in it. Storyline-wise, it wasn't too bad; the art style was less cutesy than the "usual" anime style and a little more realistic in feel [for an anime]. Hellsing, the other anime that I've completed watching some time back, is similar in genre but boasts a more stylised animation technique, which makes it all the more spooky, as compared to Black Lagoon. Both are excellent animes, though their content matter is more suited for a mature audience.
Deus Ex is one computer game that I've recently embarked on. It is an interesting game in its own right, mixing role-playing elements (like skills and inventories) with first-person shooting. The gameplay of Deus Ex is similar to that of Hitman, in the sense that there's a lot of sneaking around involved—it is neigh impossible to play Deus Ex or Hitman using an all-out brute force approach. Firstly, there is a severe lack of availability of heavy weapons and ammunitions, which makes it more tactically sound to rely on stealth and sneaky weapons. Secondly, the areas of combat are really restrictive, unlike in games like Quake, where the expansive landscape and relative abundance of ammunition and weapons makes it much easier to engage in armed combat.
Which style of gameplay do I prefer? I like games like Quake and Unreal Tournament for their no-nonsense frag-fest, but sometimes, all the non-stop action is nasty on the eyes, because when playing these fast-paced games, I actually blink even less than usual (I'm known to blink very little to start with), which makes eye irritation and fatigue to be a real issue. So, sneaking games like Deus Ex is a refreshing change for me for once in a while, though the intricate plot sometimes makes it irritating. Deus Ex doesn't suffer that tremendously as compared to other games in its genre (like Hexen), but it's long narrative does sometime cause some irritation.
So, while Deus Ex is a refreshing change, I doubt I'm going to dump Quake or Unreal Tournament anytime soon. That's about it for now, I think.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Death
Death is interesting, serene, and comforting. To be able to be embraced by Death's loving arms, seems to be the ultimate life that one can ever live.
But like all questions that one asks oneself, how does one seek Death? There are, unfortunately, many ways to die, but they are largely separated into honourable means and dishonourable means, and not by suicide nor homicide, contrary to popular belief.
Should Death be sought as a means of escape, then it is likely to be dishonourable, particularly if the choice of dying is short and painless. Even the path of Death chosen is for escapism can be made honourable if the method in which one is despatched involves the greatest amount of pain that can be inflicted in the longest amount of time. This explains why the act of seppuku is considered honourable, while the act of shooting one's head with a shotgun isn't.
The underlying assumption is that pain is something that one seeks to avoid, and to seek it as the penultimate step to actual Death would entail that one did not choose Death as merely a means of escape, but as a rite of passage towards something that would liberate them. It is the concept of "rite of passage" that separates an honourable death from a dishonourable one.
Legends from around the world have often placed the death of a warrior in battle as the among the most honourable Death that one could get, while those who just died of old age tend to be belittled as being weak and dying dishonourable ones.
Honourable deaths are hard to come by in this time and age—no one is foolish to emabark on a war or battle just to die honourably. However, dishonourable deaths are far too easy to attain. Some examples include leaping off tall buildings, hanging oneself, or even to be knocked down by motor vehicle while crossing the road carelessly.
Perhaps we ought to see Death by old age as an honourable Death in this era, since the number of ways to die dishonourably is much more than that of an honourable Death.
But like all questions that one asks oneself, how does one seek Death? There are, unfortunately, many ways to die, but they are largely separated into honourable means and dishonourable means, and not by suicide nor homicide, contrary to popular belief.
Should Death be sought as a means of escape, then it is likely to be dishonourable, particularly if the choice of dying is short and painless. Even the path of Death chosen is for escapism can be made honourable if the method in which one is despatched involves the greatest amount of pain that can be inflicted in the longest amount of time. This explains why the act of seppuku is considered honourable, while the act of shooting one's head with a shotgun isn't.
The underlying assumption is that pain is something that one seeks to avoid, and to seek it as the penultimate step to actual Death would entail that one did not choose Death as merely a means of escape, but as a rite of passage towards something that would liberate them. It is the concept of "rite of passage" that separates an honourable death from a dishonourable one.
Legends from around the world have often placed the death of a warrior in battle as the among the most honourable Death that one could get, while those who just died of old age tend to be belittled as being weak and dying dishonourable ones.
Honourable deaths are hard to come by in this time and age—no one is foolish to emabark on a war or battle just to die honourably. However, dishonourable deaths are far too easy to attain. Some examples include leaping off tall buildings, hanging oneself, or even to be knocked down by motor vehicle while crossing the road carelessly.
Perhaps we ought to see Death by old age as an honourable Death in this era, since the number of ways to die dishonourably is much more than that of an honourable Death.
Saturday, August 02, 2008
A Failure
I think I'm a failure. Even though I'm designated as the assistant conductor of my Chinese Orchestra, there is much that even I don't really know. While some might say that I have some talent in feeling for the music, I think that this "talent" is still too raw to be of any good use to everyone else.
Guess that means that I need to put more effort into trying to learn more.
Guess that means that I need to put more effort into trying to learn more.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Passion
What is it that makes one person to be revered with greatness while others are quickly forgotten? Is it a political ideal? Could it be sheer wealth or scientific ingenuity? Perhaps, considering the fact that till this day we still remember the Rockefellers and the Einsteins of the world with some awe.
What is it that binds these people whom we acknowledge for their greatness? I suspect that the underlying thing that binds them to our consciousness is that of their passion. Passion here can be one of a multitude of things; it could be the compassion that they have for others, or the great eternal love they share with a special someone, or it could even be the strong interest that they have for the field that they are studying.
Passion. Why did I bring up this topic out of the blue? Because that's something that I've been wondering about for quite a while. In my previous post, I was talking a lot about emotions and after watching Ouran High School Host Club again, something inside me seemed to have been awakened. It is this whole concept of passion.
It would seem that among the things that people look out for in others, passion ranks as among the highest attributes that they see. People feel touched when they sense the passion that is within one. All these feelings of passion are what makes people great.
[Ed: I wrote this a bunch of days back, but somehow lost the drive to finish it. I'm going to publish this as is.]
What is it that binds these people whom we acknowledge for their greatness? I suspect that the underlying thing that binds them to our consciousness is that of their passion. Passion here can be one of a multitude of things; it could be the compassion that they have for others, or the great eternal love they share with a special someone, or it could even be the strong interest that they have for the field that they are studying.
Passion. Why did I bring up this topic out of the blue? Because that's something that I've been wondering about for quite a while. In my previous post, I was talking a lot about emotions and after watching Ouran High School Host Club again, something inside me seemed to have been awakened. It is this whole concept of passion.
It would seem that among the things that people look out for in others, passion ranks as among the highest attributes that they see. People feel touched when they sense the passion that is within one. All these feelings of passion are what makes people great.
[Ed: I wrote this a bunch of days back, but somehow lost the drive to finish it. I'm going to publish this as is.]
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