Gurgle Burgle

I know this sounds clichéd, but time really does pass in a blink of an eye, especially when there are lots to be done. Work has been plentiful and is reaching the stage where it is actually beginning to be intellectually fulfilling, not that it wasn't so earlier, it's just that right about now, it does feel more fulfilling than before. In some senses, knowing the direction that I am taking does have a way of providing the self-confidence that I so desperately need.

But of course, at times I'm still highly hesitant and doubtful about what I am doing. Goes with the job I suppose. Life is full of unpredictable elements, and no matter how prepared one is, the best state that one can ever be is to be consoled by the fact that one has at one's disposal resources that one believes will cover the eventualities that one has thought of. The general lack of imagination of humankind in this regard often means that in spite of the very best planning and preparation, there is still a possibility of getting caught unawares.

Anyway, digressions again... I ought to remind myself to quit writing blog entries so late at night. True, the mind is most free from the normal confines of reality at this time, but at the same time, there is a distinct lack of coherence that is ever-present.

Let's try this again.
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The last two weeks have had a strange effect on me. Ever since I had that stress fracture on my fibula from a rather overzealous and overambitious plan for running (what? that plan overzealous?), I have been mostly confined indoors. Hell, I've even had to stop my Aikido training for this month (and most likely the next also) so that the fracture will heal over.

Folks who seemingly cared for me have asked me time and time again to have it checked out by a doctor, but I know better than that. It's only a stress fracture, nothing too serious, and the best thing that I can do for it is to just rest it well. Casts are not going to be useful in this case at all, and there will be the whole expense associated with the diagnostics required to confirm what I already know from day eight onwards. Not that I find the concern annoying... I'm just not used to being cared for by folks that way.

So with two more evenings of the week freed up temporarily, I suddenly find myself with time that I can spend on introspection, which is at times a refreshing process. I like introspecting, it is sort of my way of getting some therapeutic effect through the whole ``thinking it through'' process. Of course, many of these thoughts are only for my consumption, and so I will not even allude to them here.

Okay, I've exhausted my words for the day. Next time.

Mucking with enumerate

To alter the starting number for any enumerate counter, use the following

\setcounter{enumi}{n-1}

where n is the starting number you want your list to show.

Note that there are enumi, enumii, enumiii and enumiv to handle the four-level nested enumerate environment.

Underlining Package for LaTeX

If you want to use underlining (standard or wavy) or strikethroughs in LaTeX, consider adding

\usepackage[normalem]{ulem}

to your LaTeX source file. This opens up the following useful commands:

Command	Description
\uline{foo}	Underlines foo
\uuline{foo}	Double underlines foo
\uwave{foo}	Underlines foo with a wavy line
\sout{foo}	Strikesout foo
\xout{foo}	Crosses out foo with `/'

And don't forget that you can use \emph{foo} to obtain an italicised version of foo.

These are preferable over \underline{foo} and {\em foo} because they can handle the edge cases of spanning multiple lines (for underlining) and the space correction after italicisation (for the emphasis component).

Self-Interest and Altruism

Once upon a time, when I was much younger and full of ideals, when I was mostly segregated from the rabblement that comprised individuals too haughty about their ways to listen to or even pay attention to someone who looked a little different from them, I believed in altruism. From the many levels of education that I was receiving in those days, my conviction towards altruism was strong, wilfully sacrificing myself should the situation arise if the overall benefits were to outweight the costs of self-sacrifice; in some ways, this is the very definition of utilitarianism since it weighs the value of the outcome given the cost of the action.

But as time went by, my disillusionment with the world grew, and slowly but surely, I found myself starting to believe less and less in altruism. In fact, I would say that the events that occurred scantly a year ago are probably what triggered my general lack of belief that altruism is a worthy goal to pursue, for the simple reason that people are not morally rational. I think I'm beginning to understand what the sages were trying to say when they proclaimed that each generation of society was on a spiral of destruction, with each successive generation falling ever lower compared to the last. And as an observer, I have started to see this occurring even as we speak. And the strange thing is, I can see myself as being a contributor to the entire fiasco.

Self-interest and altruism seem to be polar opposites of each other---it is hard to be acting in a way that is consistent with both self-interest and altruism. Granted, one may operate in a way that aligns most of one's self-interest with altruism, but in most cases, this is merely a facade. Altruism is an idealism that attempts to reconcile the actions of the leaders with the welfare of the people---it is a means of showing why a leader does what he/she does by putting the actions into a new light that it is somehow helping the greater good. But are the actions' intent really for the greater good, or is it a by-product of careful engineering on the presentation of the actions? That is one question that few would dare to answer, simply because the intent of any action can only be deduced, and the deduction is probabilistically true at best, since it is hard for anyone to actually understand the innate circumstance that governed the cause of action of any one person.

So is self-interest incompatible with altruism? That is a question that is plaguing me for the better part of the year. As I have noted earlier, I began with the thought that I would be willing to do anything for the greater good. But I have been shown that my assertions were not demonstrated in the real world, and slowly but surely I find myself working from the perspective of self-interest more than anything else. To a large degree then I find that self-interest is incompatible with altruism, since the intent from which the actions they spawn are polar opposites.

[Ed: This started out as a rant on Oct 03, but by now I have no idea where I wanted to go with it, so I'm just leaving this half-completed monstrosity online.]