(I Just) Died In Your Arms------Cutting Crew
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
I keep looking for something I can't get
Broken hearts lie all around me
And I don't see an easy way to get out of this
Her diary it sits on the bedside table
The curtains are closed, the cats in the cradle
Who would've thought that a boy like me could come to this
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been some kind of kiss
I should've walked away
Is there any just cause for feeling like this?
On the surface I'm a name on a list
I try to be discreet, but then blow it again
I've lost and found, it's my final mistake
She's loving by proxy, no give and all take
'Cos I've been thrilled to fantasy one too many times
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been some kind of kiss
I should've walked away
It was a long hot night
She made it easy, she made it feel right
But now it's over the moment has gone
I followed my hands not my head, i know i was wrong
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been some kind of kiss
I should've walked away
Thursday, December 31, 2009
(I Just) Died in your Arms
Friday, December 25, 2009
Upgrade Day?
Today seems to be a day of system updates. Edythe-EEE has Xubuntu Karmic Koala running sweetly, and she is still continuing in her task of performing trial factoring for Mersenne prime numbers during the [long] hours that I have nothing to run on her. Elyse just had her 64-bit edition of Xubuntu Jaunty Jackalope updated to the 64-bit edition of Karmic Koala, and things seem to be dandy for her also, though I probably need to muck around with getting the PPA version of Pidgin working so that Pidgin is always updated each time a new release comes out---there are just too many wonky things that happen that require an update to ensure that things are working, something about having to deal with the legions of people who are still on propriety networks whose protocols are not very intuitive nor reasonable.
Apart from the various Xubuntu upgrades, Elyse also has her cygwin environment upgraded. There's no real compelling reason for that to occur, except that it's something shiny, and since I'm already in the mood of updating systems, I might as well do it too. In other news, I have also gotten SDL and MinGW in the guise of Dev-C++ up and running. I need SDL to muck around with preparing an emulated version of this, which is a rather cute little small-pixel system. MinGW is so that I can actually compile the code across a whole slew of platforms to run them on, which is always awesome.
Alright, I need to go for a run; I think I'm addicted to endorphins. Till next time.
Apart from the various Xubuntu upgrades, Elyse also has her cygwin environment upgraded. There's no real compelling reason for that to occur, except that it's something shiny, and since I'm already in the mood of updating systems, I might as well do it too. In other news, I have also gotten SDL and MinGW in the guise of Dev-C++ up and running. I need SDL to muck around with preparing an emulated version of this, which is a rather cute little small-pixel system. MinGW is so that I can actually compile the code across a whole slew of platforms to run them on, which is always awesome.
Alright, I need to go for a run; I think I'm addicted to endorphins. Till next time.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
The Koala Moves
After about a day or so of arm-wrestling, I've managed to get Xubuntu Karmic Koala running on Edythe-EEE. Things are surprisingly smooth, with everything seemingly working out of the box. However, I take offense at the default colour scheme and layout, and had to change it back to something that I preferred on the rather small pixel estate. I've even tested the external monitor VGA socket, and it appears to work flawlessly. Hurray, I suppose.
Monday, December 14, 2009
In the Driver's Seat
Now that I'm back in the driver's seat once more, I find that I missed being in control of things in general. For too long I have relinquished the power of control to others, simply because I was not exactly in the right state of mind to handle myself, but I suppose that it is time for me to figure out things that will better benefit me, considering that the worst is just about to be over.
Remember how I think that life sucks completely? Well, it still does, in my book, but I think that at the end of the day, the amount of suckage is highly dependent on the amount of crap that you are willing to put up with. If you are willing to put up with a lot of crap, then suckage will increase correspondingly, but if you take your life seriously enough, you may reduce the amount of suckage that you need to actually take in. Long story short, we have some control on our lives, and no one and nothing should make us relinquish this control easily.
That said, here's a pet peeve: the word ``utilise'' or ``utilize'' for those of you who think that the `z' spelling is cooler (it isn't, and it requires me to move my left pinky down on the QWERTY keyboard). I cannot understand why anyone would keep using that word instead of the semantically equivalent (and much easier on the eyes/brain!) word ``use''. So, instead of saying things like ``he used the computer to do something'', many people will write ``the computer is utilised to do something'' or ``he utilised the computer to do something''. To me, these sound worse than some of the scrawlings that I have written; somehow people seem to think that the word ``utilise'' is more sophisticated and aristocratic than plain old ``use'', but I beg to differ. Actually, I take offense to people who keep throwing around bombast for the sake of appearing intelligent, without actually using the word in the correct context to provide the necessary nuance, which incidentally is the only reason that I condone the use of words that do not appear in common conversation. What's the purpose of a language for communication when the people keep trying to obfuscate meanings with long and hard-to-understand words?
December is fast reaching a close, and the year of 2009 is wrapping up quickly. Soon, 2010 will arrive, and with a new year comes new resolutions and new viewpoints on life. Maybe by then I will discover even more about myself that I never knew before.
Remember how I think that life sucks completely? Well, it still does, in my book, but I think that at the end of the day, the amount of suckage is highly dependent on the amount of crap that you are willing to put up with. If you are willing to put up with a lot of crap, then suckage will increase correspondingly, but if you take your life seriously enough, you may reduce the amount of suckage that you need to actually take in. Long story short, we have some control on our lives, and no one and nothing should make us relinquish this control easily.
That said, here's a pet peeve: the word ``utilise'' or ``utilize'' for those of you who think that the `z' spelling is cooler (it isn't, and it requires me to move my left pinky down on the QWERTY keyboard). I cannot understand why anyone would keep using that word instead of the semantically equivalent (and much easier on the eyes/brain!) word ``use''. So, instead of saying things like ``he used the computer to do something'', many people will write ``the computer is utilised to do something'' or ``he utilised the computer to do something''. To me, these sound worse than some of the scrawlings that I have written; somehow people seem to think that the word ``utilise'' is more sophisticated and aristocratic than plain old ``use'', but I beg to differ. Actually, I take offense to people who keep throwing around bombast for the sake of appearing intelligent, without actually using the word in the correct context to provide the necessary nuance, which incidentally is the only reason that I condone the use of words that do not appear in common conversation. What's the purpose of a language for communication when the people keep trying to obfuscate meanings with long and hard-to-understand words?
December is fast reaching a close, and the year of 2009 is wrapping up quickly. Soon, 2010 will arrive, and with a new year comes new resolutions and new viewpoints on life. Maybe by then I will discover even more about myself that I never knew before.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Imagine
Ever felt an itch before? You know, the kind you feel immediately after being stung by some insect that you didn't realise existed? Remember that itch yet? Yes?
Now imagine that itch is all over your body, from your face, to your neck to your torso, to your upper and lower arms, to the back of your knee, to your calves to the tops of your feet---everywhere where there might be skin, it itches. Feeling it yet?
Now imagine further that you try to relieve that itch. How would you do that? By scratching at it, right? Imagine how you might relieve an itch that is all over the body at once. Imagine that the itching is intense, and that you need to relieve it at all costs, because it is highly annoying right?
Normal scratching doesn't seem to work, does it, since the more you scratch at it, the itchier it becomes. You'll keep scratching until your nail inadvertently breaks the fragile skin from over scratching. Now there's something new: you have a small skin wound that hurts like hell when water is run over it. Worse, since the itch is extensive and you had to scratch everywhere, you are covered with many of these micro wounds throughout your skin.
Imagine taking a shower in that. Imagine taking a shower using antiseptic bath lotions with that. Now imagine leaving the shower. The skin will slowly dry itself up and suddenly you find yourself in this rather uncomfortable and stiff situation. What do you do now? The itch returns; it always does. You put moisturiser and hope for the best. But the itch will never go away.
Imagined all that yet? Welcome to my world of living hell.
Now imagine that itch is all over your body, from your face, to your neck to your torso, to your upper and lower arms, to the back of your knee, to your calves to the tops of your feet---everywhere where there might be skin, it itches. Feeling it yet?
Now imagine further that you try to relieve that itch. How would you do that? By scratching at it, right? Imagine how you might relieve an itch that is all over the body at once. Imagine that the itching is intense, and that you need to relieve it at all costs, because it is highly annoying right?
Normal scratching doesn't seem to work, does it, since the more you scratch at it, the itchier it becomes. You'll keep scratching until your nail inadvertently breaks the fragile skin from over scratching. Now there's something new: you have a small skin wound that hurts like hell when water is run over it. Worse, since the itch is extensive and you had to scratch everywhere, you are covered with many of these micro wounds throughout your skin.
Imagine taking a shower in that. Imagine taking a shower using antiseptic bath lotions with that. Now imagine leaving the shower. The skin will slowly dry itself up and suddenly you find yourself in this rather uncomfortable and stiff situation. What do you do now? The itch returns; it always does. You put moisturiser and hope for the best. But the itch will never go away.
Imagined all that yet? Welcome to my world of living hell.
Sunday, December 06, 2009
December Look-Back
It's a Sunday now, not something that I am annoyed at, but I just have a general sense of laziness that comes from this rather traditional day of rest. Life is chugging along, and bullets are being bitten, and at times I just keep wondering about what is just beyond the horizon of my view on life. It's also December, which is usually a good time to start wrapping up the year that was 2009 and to wonder and plan for the year that is to come, namely 2010.
So many things have happened throughout this year, and yet the saga hasn't quite ended yet because there are more epic struggles to come. It's a struggle always from one end of life to the other, but eventually, things will work out right, as long as I keep on living and thinking. I'm keeping few contacts these days, preferring to just sit down and hide behind my persona and computer, to do quite a bit of introspection and to ``sort things out'' in my head. It's a new-found feeling, when the ancient ``curse'' of wanting someone to love has reduced in its strength to the point that I am just uncaring about that particular aspect of life. I've loved once, maybe that's enough for this lifetime. If I continue to do things that can help myself as well as others, perhaps it will be more rewarding that seeking out that ``other for me''.
Time has taught me a lot. The past year alone has taught me so much about myself that even I get a little scared at what I learnt. In the past, I longed to return to the work place and do things, but somehow now that I am in there, I long for the academic life where I could just study, eat and drink with little care in the world except for the work that I needed to do. But these feelings are not of regret, but of nostalgia---truth is, it is still more fulfilling to work than do just do homework upon homework all the time.
My perpetual job of keeping myself sane has taken a new twist in events: I am branching out in the things that I am doing other than work. A while back, I started taking Aikido lessons, and now I'm part of the department's ``gym-team''. NaNoWriMo set my writing fire ablaze into a conflagaration of pure desire, and I suddenly have an insatiable need to write as opposed to merely a voracious one. Soon, when time permits, I will return to sketching, and to master a few more tricks with juggling balls; these things are the other random stuff that I do to keep sane in this very messed up and very hurried world.
I think I'm starting to ``sink down'' more comfortably into myself now, ever since I decided that going around trying to woo anyone is a fruitless exercise on my part---if a girl is interested in me, she should also bear an equal amount of effort in convincing me that she's the ``right one''. Time is a strange mistress, but I think I'll slowly learn her moves and figure things out.
Okay, enough of procrastination---the weather is comfortable, and I still have graduate school applications to clear. Time to haul it.
So many things have happened throughout this year, and yet the saga hasn't quite ended yet because there are more epic struggles to come. It's a struggle always from one end of life to the other, but eventually, things will work out right, as long as I keep on living and thinking. I'm keeping few contacts these days, preferring to just sit down and hide behind my persona and computer, to do quite a bit of introspection and to ``sort things out'' in my head. It's a new-found feeling, when the ancient ``curse'' of wanting someone to love has reduced in its strength to the point that I am just uncaring about that particular aspect of life. I've loved once, maybe that's enough for this lifetime. If I continue to do things that can help myself as well as others, perhaps it will be more rewarding that seeking out that ``other for me''.
Time has taught me a lot. The past year alone has taught me so much about myself that even I get a little scared at what I learnt. In the past, I longed to return to the work place and do things, but somehow now that I am in there, I long for the academic life where I could just study, eat and drink with little care in the world except for the work that I needed to do. But these feelings are not of regret, but of nostalgia---truth is, it is still more fulfilling to work than do just do homework upon homework all the time.
My perpetual job of keeping myself sane has taken a new twist in events: I am branching out in the things that I am doing other than work. A while back, I started taking Aikido lessons, and now I'm part of the department's ``gym-team''. NaNoWriMo set my writing fire ablaze into a conflagaration of pure desire, and I suddenly have an insatiable need to write as opposed to merely a voracious one. Soon, when time permits, I will return to sketching, and to master a few more tricks with juggling balls; these things are the other random stuff that I do to keep sane in this very messed up and very hurried world.
I think I'm starting to ``sink down'' more comfortably into myself now, ever since I decided that going around trying to woo anyone is a fruitless exercise on my part---if a girl is interested in me, she should also bear an equal amount of effort in convincing me that she's the ``right one''. Time is a strange mistress, but I think I'll slowly learn her moves and figure things out.
Okay, enough of procrastination---the weather is comfortable, and I still have graduate school applications to clear. Time to haul it.
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