Weekend Grouses

Yet another week has passed, and I'm still none the wiser on so many things. Some interesting hacks though, if you are a coder and would like some really clean but tiny monospaced fonts to program with, I highly recommend proggy fonts. They are highly legible and are sharp enough to not have to rely on hinting to make them look good. Also, they can be easily integrated with the Windows Console as an alternative font.

That hack aside, my clarinet has finally arrived, as well as my reeds and a plethora of random geeky apparel/cool stuff. The instrument seems to be okay, but I seem to keep playing notes a tad too sharp; at this stage I'm not sure if I'm to be blamed for that one, or if the instrument is the one that is at fault, or if my tuning meter is bjorked. The clarinet is ebonite, so it will not suffer unduly under the rapid changes in temperature/humidity like how a wooden one might. On a somewhat related note, I realise that I have slightly better control over reeds that are harder than reeds that are softer. I wonder if this is a good thing or not.

Last year in college, last year in many things. It is a tad strange to be thinking of things in this way, considering how I was raring to get back into society and do work just a couple of years ago. Indeed, time can change a person's thought and demeanour, and as things go, it might seem that I'm slowly having mine changed too.

I've long since given up on looking back on what I have done, figuring that those were rather inconsequential in the life that I have chosen anyway. Some might say that I have done plenty in the past that is worthy of mention, but I believe that what I did was nothing compared to what others might have done in that same time. A nobody trying to eke out a name for himself—that's basically what I am at the moment. I know I'm not as smart or as aggressive as some of my other peers, but I try my best given my somewhat limited abilities. I know that some of my peers just downright... dislike me, since I'm always so odd and strange by their standards. I used to worry a lot about blending in; now I just want to be able to convince myself that I do not answer to them with regards to behaviour and understanding—I am only answerable to myself.

Not too long ago, a peer chided me somewhat jokingly that I was "asking for it" when I decided to do Computer Science at Carnegie Mellon University while he was doing a double degree (which included Computer Science because he was bored) at another university. That thought had stuck with me for quite a while, making me rather uncomfortable and having various misgivings about what I had done. But today, I think I know better. I might have been a dumbass (by his standards) for doing Computer Science at Carnegie Mellon University, but I am pretty certain that I learn much more here than I could ever learn elsewhere.

I was basically getting sick of having to correct people on their views/thoughts on Computer Science, and by "people", I do mean those who were supposed to be teaching us. At least over here in Carnegie Mellon University, I have professors who are doing cool stuff, who are happy to teach us what they know, and who are willing to challenge us on our perceptions on what we believe and think about Computer Science. Perhaps that is the reason why the CS Department is one of the best ranked Computer Science programmes in the world. Perhaps that is why I am here, since I've decided to actually do Computer Science as my profession.

Perhaps it is a sign to remind me that no one truly understands what another person's goals and aspirations are, and that I should stop listening and taking to heart reactions and words that have no positive consequential effect on me.

Perhaps it is also a reminder that I am still in control of my thought patterns, and that no outside influence has the right to claim that my thought patterns are wrong, particularly if that outside influence has no inkling of what he/she/it is talking about.

Perhaps it is time to realise that there are dumb people of all sorts, not all of them in a way that is stereotypical or easy to identify.

*sigh*

Going somewhat off-tangent again.

It's a nice Sunday today, and I've been up since 0700hrs. I have no idea why I keep waking up early these days, but it is something that I've slowly grown to accept and sometimes like. Nothing beats some semblence of silence in which work can be done, thoughts can be processes, and discomforts can be aired. It will be yet another long day.