Feels funny to be writing here once more, not because I'm no longer comfortable with writing, but that between the last update and this one, many things have changed. Oh, and the fact that my left index finger has some nail issues which causes me to lose quite a fair bit of typing ability, but as usual I digress.
So anyway, I have been rather jaded/down for the last couple of months, partially due to the stresses of work, and partially due to the various stresses in life. And as each day passes, I'm slowly starting to realise that I am actually fairly decoupled from the material world, in the sense that I can live with really very little things that are available from the material condition. This slow understanding of my own condition comes as a part of my general evaluation of the direction with which my life is currently taking, from the three paths of work, personal and play. It is just that with all the work and stresses that I have been put into, I have little time to sit down and partake in a little introspection---the moments in time where I can really sit back and consider all things past and present and plan about the future, wondering about the greater significance of it all.
Needless to say, having a week's leave is something that is rather welcome at this point in time, as someone once said ``if you don't plan to take your leave, you never will take the leave because work is never-ending''. This is particularly pertinent given what has occurred just a few days back---my budding relationship with Mint has gone on a ``two steps forward one step back'' stint. I don't really want to talk about things here (that's what a diary is for), but I suppose it does put a lot of things into perspective to a large degree. Many questions were raised, and many more to be answered, and at the end of it all, only time and fate can tell what the future truly brings.
Enough of the depressing stuff though. Thinking about the past, present and future does have some interesting consequences, and it is for things like that I am glad I actually took that one week leave. Hell, I think I should have taken the leave a long time ago, and have I done that, I would probably be in a better shape than now. As I mull about the future from the present, I realise that slowly, the very fabric of reality itself is morphing, not always for the better, but certainly changing enough that it keeps things somewhat exciting.
Aikido. This is one of the couple of things that I am using to keep myself sane, and for the most part, I am really glad to have taken it up when I had the chance. Apart from the generally good workout it provides, there's also a strong understanding of what my body and mind are capable of as I try out the various manoeuvres that are available within the martial art. I've been living a mostly sedentary life for quite a long while, and thus having the opportunity to finally have the chance to work out my body is something that I truly cherish a lot.
So much for the random update for now.
2 comments:
Work life is very different. There's no time to do anything anymore. Except on the weekends, and they don't last long. It's funny though, I can't really settle on whether there is in fact less time, or it's because I have less control of my time. College was definitely a lot of work. idk
I think the decoupled feeling may be a result of not having anyone else dependent on your own success or failure. Any single human doesn't need that much to stay alive and little time probable lends itself to a minimalist lifestyle which further lends itself to a decoupling from the material. But if someone else depends on you, it's harder to be an ascetic.
What do you mean by morphing? As time progresses things change, but isn't that the normal state of things?
Working out is hard.
Hm, I suppose I can see how your explanation seems to fit into what I’m trying to say here. Oh and by morphing, it’s really just an observation that reality itself seems to have changed its focus on things—like how it used to be about the self and all and how now it is all about things that are completely unassociated with the self; we have become individually unimportant, or at the very least, have a strong sense of unimportance in the grand scheme of things.
Post a Comment