I think... that time has never been on my side. I have known this for a while now, but I think I have been living in denial for a little too long. Running, hiding, trying to escape the inevitable.
The time to confront it is now.
The time for change... is now.
It's time to discard that fake-happy side of me and sink back to that morose persona that had served me pretty well for quite a long time, until that weird day that I decided that I was better off being happy.
If ignorance truly is bliss, then let me be as melancholic as possible so that I remain un-ignorant. It is when we realise that we don't know anything, have a looming deadline to get things done, and the realisation that life will never ever be the same again that we step out of that safe zone and get things done.
In view of what I just said, it means that my overall web presence is going to shrink significantly. No, I'm not suicidal, I'm not going crazy [yet]. I think that I have to forgo what is effectively a normal life to succeed at this---there is no other way.
Wish me luck and skill, and hopefully I will prevail.
To the few who still care about me, keep in touch with email. That ancient technology works wonders since it allows a batch processing and doesn't demand any instantaneous response, qualities that I think are most apt at this point. Hell, even leaving a comment or two on my blog entries will work too, since their existence is made known to me via email anyway.
Alright, enough of drivel. Time to hit the grindstone. Hard.
No pain, no gain.
3 comments:
Take things easy man.
I'm afraid I cannot do that.
relax. the way to do this is to CUT out all bits of time you used to waste.. ie. lingering after class, talking to unnecessary people. It will get better once the course load gets lower.. Or just LOWER your expectations. it's way better than killing yourself doing this.
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