Sixth Month

A glass of whiskey in hand at the end of a rehearsal as the night grows deeper as I savour and ponder about things that have passed or have yet to come---I have been doing less of that lately.

Now that is definitely a good thing. It means that I am engaged enough in real life that I don't have the spare time to sit around and mope about or wax lyrical about issues imaginary and real.

It is now June. Nearly half the year gone, just like that. Things have been moving along relatively swimmingly, and well, there's really little to complain about.

Here and there, I've been doing some retrospection. I note that my predictions from the past came through somewhat, that I had indeed died when I was twenty-one. While obviously it wasn't a literal sort of death, it was a death nonetheless. What died was my perspective that the world was orderly in nature, that it altruism was a goal to strive for, that friends were forever, and that I was the most matured for my age.

Heh.

In the ten years since, I've learnt that the world was only orderly in the sort of macroscopic way that makes it easy to argue philosophically, that in reality, ``orderliness'' was among the last properties that the world has. I've also learnt that altruism, while a worthy virtue in its own right, is most definitely not the end goal that one should strive for, mostly because people in general aren't necessarily appreciative of one's altruism---better to be altruistic only within the context of close people of one's choice.

I've also learnt that friends aren't really forever---they are bound by the context (both spatial and temporal) in which they occur. Once their life trajectories start to diverge, they are at best acquaintances that one ought to keep in touch with ever so often, but the relationship between they and one will never be the same as it was. And the best part is that when (not if) that happens, it's okay---it's no one's fault. Sometimes life just happens.

And I sure as hell am not the most matured for my age.

A decade is a hell lot of time, nearly an eighth of a person's life based on modern actuary tables. I think I can guess what this decade will bring to me as I make my way towards middle age and establishing my role in society in a more concrete way. But this time, I think the journey will be slightly less harrowing since I have a boon companion now.

=)

Different, but definitely less harrowing.

Alright, enough rambling for now. Till the next update I suppose.