Mini Stupid O'Clock

O-kay, let's write a little something here that isn't NaNoWriMo.

I had wanted to write a spiel on ``Does the end justify the means?'' but my brain is starting to get woozy from the anti-histamines, so I need to change tact.

Welcome to pre-stupid o'clock, I suppose.

Last time I wrote here, we were talking about bad coping mechanisms, bad skin, and other bad thoughts.

You would be horribly deluded to believe that after two weeks, things have changed.

Skin is still bad, coping mechanisms are still bad (I'm still picking away at said skin... urgh), and thoughts are also still bad (not the point of suicidal, but definitely not in a completely ``safe'' positive space).

What happened?

Life... life happened. Not a specific grumble, just a general observation. In many other ways, I live a blessed life, but like all things involving life, what we gain in blessings in one area of life, we trade-off with something less blessed in this life.

Why? Because fuck you, that's why. Theologically, it's because God is in complete control, and being in complete control while also un-knowable means that while we may observe such inequities or even inequalities, we can never really judge if the observations are a net good or net bad, leastways not at the same time scales that God sees.

So putting it in the extreme case, to be dead on earth is probably a bad thing for most of us, while it is actually a good thing from God's perspective, especially if we have reconciled our relationship with Him---no more flesh body for you to sin in.

If we can define some state function per person that returns a real number measuring the amount of blessedness after taking in the current state of the person, then we can characterise a few interesting observations:

1. People tend to live peak to peak---they either remember most of the good stuff, most of the bad stuff, or more commonly, a mixture of the good stuff and bad stuff. Most people do not remember anything else that are not extrema in this function.
2. A cultish superstition occurs whenever these people start approaching an extrema---they will either keep some ritualistic activities to either bring in the good omens or to ward off the ill ones, or start slinging praises or condemnation at whichever god is to their fancy.
3. In expanding upon the cultish superstition, this is more related to the fact that people believe that whatever they do strongly influences the amount of blessedness or dastardliness, which is a roundabout way of saying ``justification by works, not faith''.

Now I'm not saying that we just lie down and let things happen because ``God is in control''---I'm saying that because we have free will, we should exercise whatever we can within our locus of control, but be ready to accept that there are interdependencies and other related things completely outside of our control.

The sooner one realises that, I suppose the better it is for one's mood.

Anyway, I'm less than 10k-words away from this year's NaNoWriMo entry. Insasmuch as I love NaNoWriMo, I feel that every story thus begun should end, and am looking forward to completing this novel by the end of the upcoming week. It'll be a soft grind, but it will be done. And then at that point, perhaps I will treat myself to some fancy sushi. Mmmm mmm!

And that's about it. A short entry. I can feel myself nodding off---it's time to go. Till the next update.