Ah, the last working day of 2024 for me has finally come, and gone.
And how do I feel?
Tired. That's just the only word I have left to say---tired.
It has been a long year. Everything started to come to a head for work, and this did not include the turnover of some folks. I got more involved as a manager, and then there are things where my other hat of being a technical leader came into play. I had my Ls, I had my Ws.
What I did not have, was parts of my sanity.
I was increasingly irascible, though tempered with profound use of profanity both minced and explicit, as well as a healthy amount of jadedness that comes with advancing age. I disliked people even more, clawing hard at the time that I have to spend alone in my room, the door closed, the blinds down, with my thoughts to myself, and with a book (or Wikipedia) opened in front of me as a companion.
I fell sick ever so often, with headaches and sore throats being the prime causes. Sleep was fading away, even as I struggled to derive more meaning in my life through engaging in new activities even as old ones start to run stale and gradually losing their meaning.
Yet the core problem remained: there were people, always there were people. I didn't hate any of them individually, but as a whole, I despised them. I despised the shallow nature of people who pretended to be nice, to seemingly want to learn more about me, when there is little left to learn from what is currently a husk of a man that I am. I despised the shared elitism and knowingness that they had, as they were more deeply integrated in worlds that I am merely a sojourner to. I despised the ever-increasing one-upmanship that was ever so implicitly demonstrated, through no fault of their own, but as a result of the world that they were embedded in.
I love them individually, yet hate them all as a whole.
I sit in a corner, and cry softly to myself about the apparent paradox.
The paradox hits me even in places where I was not expected to put up a public front. I would love to be with someone who cares for me in a way that I would care for her, yet I hate all of them who make hating men the socially acceptable norm. I want to be with that special someone forever, but know that the odds are ever-increasingly stacked against me even as I fast approach the start of the fourth decade of my life. I want to meet new people who may be that special someone, but fear the inevitable betrayal that is common to those who are brought up in an environment where only material gains are revered while hard work is disdained.
And so here I am, sitting here in the soothing darkness of my room once more, lamenting about world with a temporary sense of self-pity, even as the year races on to its end.
``MT, the fuck you want?''
Good question: no answer.
What do I want?
Maybe to be happy again. I think I was truly happy when I was in love---I said nothing about it, but apparently those around me could see it.
I think I was fairly content when I was In The Zone, be it programming a computer, writing a new piece of music, writing some story, or working through a new music with one of the many instruments I play. I think I was quietly content whenever I had fancy aburi nigiri sushi at my favourite sushi place, or when I had successfully pulled off yet another music performance.
But I think I was truly happy when I was in love, and sadly, I don't think that I can ever be in love again.
Time is running short (as is the shrinking pool) to truly know someone, and then there's that trauma (oh I hate this word so!) of getting my heart wrenched out eventually once more.
Each time a relationship was done, I lost a bit more of myself, and it took me longer and longer to recover. I simply do not feel safe enough to want to put myself in that position again.
Naturally, me in this state also means that anyone who is then introduced to me with that as a general direction would be placed under some tremendous implicit pressure, something that I do not feel comfortable having anyone else to experience.
And yet if I do not take that step out, I will end up regretting through inaction.
``MT, man the fuck up and go out there!''
Ah, that ``toxic masculinity'' that society likes to toss out at woe-be-me menfolk. Everyone likes to think about what a man can bring into a relationship with a woman, with the implicit assumption of traditional gender roles as the man being the provider.
I'd like to think myself as a fairly clean and acceptable man, and so my question is then: what can a woman bring into a relationship with me? Why must I demean myself like some toy to some woman just for the chance of some ``relationship''? I'm not looking for a master; I'm not looking for a slave either.
I'm looking for a partner, someone who complements my strengths through filling out my weakness, who sees me not as some cash machine, but as another intellectual being, and are willing to think together with me to take on the world to make it a better place for us.
I do not need her, she should not need me---but together, we are stronger, and we treasure that synergistic resonance between us.
If this ``criterion'' is too much to ask, I suppose it is better to just go it alone instead of settling for something else for the sake of being in a relationship.
The biblical concept of ``unequally yoked'' has made me do a lot of thinking about it. And what I understood of it is quite jarring in the Bayesian way of looking at this whole relation-date-ship thing.
``Unequally yoked'' is traditionally stated as the difference between believer and the non-believer, and how that will end up becoming the point of friction because the values of the two are not the same.
My take on it is that while all believers are saved, not all believers are ``equal''. Some are so steeped and holy that they are walking saints, while there are those of us who are new and are still finding our way to Christ-likeness. So just because two people are believers is of no bearing if they can be compatible in a relationship---where they are on their journey in their discipleship with Christ makes a big difference too.
And since all disciples are still sinners (we still need to repent our sins daily), the comparison of where one is compared to another in terms of saintliness is unavoidable, which leads to the whole ``unequally yoked'' situation.
And perhaps my recent interactions with too many people as a whole have demonstrated this to me time and time again. We may be playing in the same music-making group, but due to where we are in our development of our music, we will never be equals, and the gap is one of those that just isn't going to magically disappear.
``MT, what's your point? Are you rationalising why you are a loser?''
First off, I'm not a loser. I don't harp on my past achievements, but I am actually living fairly comfortably---not rich, but at least I have enough freedom to do what I want, when I want. And since I'm not a loser, I'm not rationalising anything of that sort, but am just merely making a trite observation, and wondering how it may be relevant to my current situation. Since I believe that my fate is with God, I do not take ``patterns'' lightly---there has to be some meaning behind it that I need to understand.
Or if you'd prefer a secular argument, similar situations with similar outcomes suggest that I am doing something similar in reaction, and if I do not like the outcome, it behooves me to re-examine my actions critically to identify what it is that is causing all these outcomes in the first place, with the intention of altering it.
Perhaps the lesson to learn here for me is to not worry about fitting in, and just enjoy being the interloper. I have my skills and my thoughts that may not match up with the norms, but so what? No one said that I had to be a part of that world. As long as I am harming no one, and not blaspheming God, there isn't anything inherently wrong with that.
There are, of course, consequences for any and all actions I choose to take, but that is par for the course and should not be feared.
And with that, I realise that I have said too much for this one entry, and will stop here before the monologue starts veering even more into the land of the nonsense.
Till the next update.
Tuesday, December 24, 2024
Tuesday, December 10, 2024
Expungement
Suffer me for a bit, gentle reader. It's the end of the year, I'm mostly alone, and my birthday is around the corner.
This means that the ol' noggin's in overdrive having intrusive thoughts. And the thing about intrusive thoughts is that I need to drive them out before they start to become a real problem.
But first, to the crawling Applebot---don't be a dick, okay?
And now, for the rest of the write-up.
I'm hitting forty. The so-called ``mid-life crisis'' is something that I ought to be familiar with as a concept, having undergone something similar nearly fifteen years ago when I just got out of my first graduate diploma, being in roughly the same position as now (i.e. alone, and out of love). [Un-]fortunately for me, I don't have enough cash to splurge on a car (in SIN city, that's just stupid), an apartment (living with my parents is infinitely better than living alone for a whole variety of reasons), and I don't have the looks and what I think are the ``good'' qualifications to be married.
I know where I stand. My appearance is... much passable now than it was twenty years ago, but that is a very low bar. In addition, being the interloper/outsider for most of the places and people I am with means that while I am there, I am usually not truly integrated into the group-think. There are pros and cons of that---the most obvious pro is that it means that if I end up in an executive position, I will end up being as independent as thought as can be (a boon), while the obvious con is that not being a part of the group-think makes me an even bigger outcast that I might be.
If there's some kind of lasting character quality of me, it is likely to be that of an outcast.
And if I'm an outcast (yet not quite an iconoclast), forget about being attractive to anyone, matchmade or not. I am more likely than not to have little to no connection.
A friend of mine has been trying to matchmake me, and while I appreciate their efforts, the me of today thinks that it's probably going to be in vain. If a relationship's success is dependent on having good and clear communication, then what kind of a relationship can spawn between someone who is likely to be a ``normie'' and one who is a well-known outcast?
Even if we restricted the relationship to something more physical in nature, it is likely to be doomed to failure, since I know just how unattractive I am, physically.
I'm not ripped, have no intention to, have a receding hairline as well as male-pattern baldness, and have bad skin to boot.
Who the fuck in their right frame of mind will see me and go ``ooo he's physically attractive enough for me?'' Talk about massive halu right there.
So I suspect that the route of a spousal relationship is effectively closed now. I'm not dumb enough to swear a covenant, but I think I'll just don't give a shit about it any more.
In other words, this rant might be the last time I talk about all these... relation-date-ship matters.
``OMG MT is turning incel!''
No, not incel---it is not being ``involuntary celibate''. I am intentionally choosing to be celibate, because there are other things to do that are perhaps more meaningful than boning someone. Like reading, writing, and perhaps making music.
``MT, aren't you afraid of dying alone?''
If you are seriously asking this question here and now, you truly do not understand me. Since when am I afraid of dying, let alone dying alone? When I die, I die---perhaps I shall sit with God through Jesus' intervention, or perhaps I end up on Sheol, or perhaps my faith is misplaced and there is truly nothing after. In other words, I'd be dead---why do I care if I died alone or not?
I mean, in the end, everyone dies alone. Doesn't matter if one practises one of the many dubious acts of co-burial/immolation of one's loved ones to ``die together''---there just isn't any proof either way, and so by Occam's Razor the shortest hypothesis of everyone dying alone is probably likely to be the more correct.
I don't even want to get into a ``discussion'' on how having another person can enrich my life. If I were a deeply integrated part of some society, mayhaps it will make sense. But I'm an interloper, an outsider no matter where I am. In that circumstance, how can anyone be a part of my world and enrich my life?
It's funny that I have these intrusive thoughts. Hard to tell if these are truly what I want, or are they actually just thoughts.
Better to just let these thoughts out, and send a prayer up to God to guide me according to His ways instead.
Till the next expungement then.
This means that the ol' noggin's in overdrive having intrusive thoughts. And the thing about intrusive thoughts is that I need to drive them out before they start to become a real problem.
But first, to the crawling Applebot---don't be a dick, okay?
And now, for the rest of the write-up.
I'm hitting forty. The so-called ``mid-life crisis'' is something that I ought to be familiar with as a concept, having undergone something similar nearly fifteen years ago when I just got out of my first graduate diploma, being in roughly the same position as now (i.e. alone, and out of love). [Un-]fortunately for me, I don't have enough cash to splurge on a car (in SIN city, that's just stupid), an apartment (living with my parents is infinitely better than living alone for a whole variety of reasons), and I don't have the looks and what I think are the ``good'' qualifications to be married.
I know where I stand. My appearance is... much passable now than it was twenty years ago, but that is a very low bar. In addition, being the interloper/outsider for most of the places and people I am with means that while I am there, I am usually not truly integrated into the group-think. There are pros and cons of that---the most obvious pro is that it means that if I end up in an executive position, I will end up being as independent as thought as can be (a boon), while the obvious con is that not being a part of the group-think makes me an even bigger outcast that I might be.
If there's some kind of lasting character quality of me, it is likely to be that of an outcast.
And if I'm an outcast (yet not quite an iconoclast), forget about being attractive to anyone, matchmade or not. I am more likely than not to have little to no connection.
A friend of mine has been trying to matchmake me, and while I appreciate their efforts, the me of today thinks that it's probably going to be in vain. If a relationship's success is dependent on having good and clear communication, then what kind of a relationship can spawn between someone who is likely to be a ``normie'' and one who is a well-known outcast?
Even if we restricted the relationship to something more physical in nature, it is likely to be doomed to failure, since I know just how unattractive I am, physically.
I'm not ripped, have no intention to, have a receding hairline as well as male-pattern baldness, and have bad skin to boot.
Who the fuck in their right frame of mind will see me and go ``ooo he's physically attractive enough for me?'' Talk about massive halu right there.
So I suspect that the route of a spousal relationship is effectively closed now. I'm not dumb enough to swear a covenant, but I think I'll just don't give a shit about it any more.
In other words, this rant might be the last time I talk about all these... relation-date-ship matters.
``OMG MT is turning incel!''
No, not incel---it is not being ``involuntary celibate''. I am intentionally choosing to be celibate, because there are other things to do that are perhaps more meaningful than boning someone. Like reading, writing, and perhaps making music.
``MT, aren't you afraid of dying alone?''
If you are seriously asking this question here and now, you truly do not understand me. Since when am I afraid of dying, let alone dying alone? When I die, I die---perhaps I shall sit with God through Jesus' intervention, or perhaps I end up on Sheol, or perhaps my faith is misplaced and there is truly nothing after. In other words, I'd be dead---why do I care if I died alone or not?
I mean, in the end, everyone dies alone. Doesn't matter if one practises one of the many dubious acts of co-burial/immolation of one's loved ones to ``die together''---there just isn't any proof either way, and so by Occam's Razor the shortest hypothesis of everyone dying alone is probably likely to be the more correct.
I don't even want to get into a ``discussion'' on how having another person can enrich my life. If I were a deeply integrated part of some society, mayhaps it will make sense. But I'm an interloper, an outsider no matter where I am. In that circumstance, how can anyone be a part of my world and enrich my life?
It's funny that I have these intrusive thoughts. Hard to tell if these are truly what I want, or are they actually just thoughts.
Better to just let these thoughts out, and send a prayer up to God to guide me according to His ways instead.
Till the next expungement then.
Saturday, December 07, 2024
See? This is Why You Should Save Your Work, No Matter How Temporary
See, the one time I didn't save an intermediate copy of my blog entry on Q10, was the one time Q10 decided to crash and take away the five hundred words.
Well anyway, I'll just speedrun the contents and skip the nuance.
I am/was down in the dumps; week's been long with having to deal with too many people; I hate myself but seeing that past-me gave present-me a chance to thrive, I will extend the good deed to future-me and not do anything utterly stupid; I think I'm a problem-solver type, and suspect that am not ``lovable'' since there isn't anything seemingly emotionally/relationally related to being a problem-solver; Love Hina is sad and isn't some taboo erotica that ought to be banned back when it was still in circulation.
Okay, and now on to something that wasn't wiped out in the crash.
I just got a carbon fibre instrument stand for The Big Flute. The difference was... it was 0.6 kg for the new stand versus 3.2 kg for the old one, all without feeling unstable as fuck even as the 4.6 kg mass of The Big Flute was resting on it. And that does not take into account the more compact for factor as well (tubes with some seemingly 3D-printed joint-blocks and neodymium magnets for holding things in place).
I had also sprung for a carbon fibre case for The Big Flute to replace the current wooden one. The mass difference there should be about 2.3 kg versus 5.7 kg. This means that the total mass of things that I need to lug around is now just 6.9 kg, versus 13.5 kg that I am currently doing for instrument + case + stand. It doesn't sound like much, especially considering that the new carbon fibre case + stand costs nearly a quarter of the MSRP of The Big Flute, but when the volume is taken into account, it is just that much more compact that it makes it worth the while.
Because with this new set up, I can move more easily, without ever feeling nor looking clunky. And this can open up new avenues, especially if something else pans out.
But the case isn't coming in till 2025-02 or so, and we'll just have to wait till then.
Meanwhile, I don't really have much else to talk about, so till the next update.
Well anyway, I'll just speedrun the contents and skip the nuance.
I am/was down in the dumps; week's been long with having to deal with too many people; I hate myself but seeing that past-me gave present-me a chance to thrive, I will extend the good deed to future-me and not do anything utterly stupid; I think I'm a problem-solver type, and suspect that am not ``lovable'' since there isn't anything seemingly emotionally/relationally related to being a problem-solver; Love Hina is sad and isn't some taboo erotica that ought to be banned back when it was still in circulation.
Okay, and now on to something that wasn't wiped out in the crash.
I just got a carbon fibre instrument stand for The Big Flute. The difference was... it was 0.6 kg for the new stand versus 3.2 kg for the old one, all without feeling unstable as fuck even as the 4.6 kg mass of The Big Flute was resting on it. And that does not take into account the more compact for factor as well (tubes with some seemingly 3D-printed joint-blocks and neodymium magnets for holding things in place).
I had also sprung for a carbon fibre case for The Big Flute to replace the current wooden one. The mass difference there should be about 2.3 kg versus 5.7 kg. This means that the total mass of things that I need to lug around is now just 6.9 kg, versus 13.5 kg that I am currently doing for instrument + case + stand. It doesn't sound like much, especially considering that the new carbon fibre case + stand costs nearly a quarter of the MSRP of The Big Flute, but when the volume is taken into account, it is just that much more compact that it makes it worth the while.
Because with this new set up, I can move more easily, without ever feeling nor looking clunky. And this can open up new avenues, especially if something else pans out.
But the case isn't coming in till 2025-02 or so, and we'll just have to wait till then.
Meanwhile, I don't really have much else to talk about, so till the next update.
Sunday, December 01, 2024
It's Faunover
Is the hololive English dream truly over?
Ceres Fauna has just declared her leaving of hololive English while I was at church this morning.
Doomposting aside, I think that there are quite a few things at play that probably few of us truly comprehend.
For one, the Cover Corporation that we knew of is not the same one anymore. Their stable of talents are aplenty, they had gone public, and have invested in stupid big amounts of money in a fancy studio to support their 3D media offering.
Their senior management has also changed, with an old director on the hololive English side being replaced, and their longest supporting director (A-Chan) having left the company earlier this year.
There has also been lots of collaborations with other companies, and many other steps had been taken to monetise the hololive IP, or at least put things on a firm enough footing that the hololive IP is kept in a form that is at least legally defensible as such.
But in the VTubing sphere as a whole, Nijisanji English has collapsed, and a ton of other small corpos have shuttered up, even as the world gets increasingly more dangerous with many rather hard-headed attempts to force things to the way they were before COVID-19 changed how we lived, worked, and played.
Third spaces have been lost, yet we find that people are starting to find alternative ways of leaving their COVID-19 shells of solace. This is especially so due to the backlash from how social media has absolutely fucked up a lot of things that matter to people a whole lot, from elections to jobs, and everything in between. Generative AI lurks in the background, providing large companies with an excuse to splurge money on some nebulous ``AI'' concept that is loosely powered by these generative AI models---the return of investment is seemingly even higher than that of the previous technological hype of the blockchain.
All in all, the world's a mess, and people seem to pine for the ``good old days''.
Unfortunately, VTubing wasn't a part of that ``good old days''. And so when big [old] money gets involved, it seems inevitable that they would force their ways of doing things down---after all, if they weren't smart, they wouldn't be the ones holding on to the capital that the company so sorely needs as ``investment'', right?
That is hard to say.
If the old ways were truly the best, then there would be no reason for evolution into the new ways. And luck does play an unbelievably large role as well, even if it isn't always the most dominant.
VTubing flourishing during the COVID-19 years was happenstance meeting some form of preparation. But whether it is something that can make it into the mainstream media as a consistent revenue stream... is something to be seen.
I mean, who can forget the sitcom era of the 1990s, and then the reality TV era of the 2000s? They eventually fell off the radar, and became niched topics at some point.
Maybe VTubing is heading to that end state.
But what I do want to say is, there's a time for everything. Every peak must be surrounded by troughs; otherwise it wouldn't be a peak. VTubing has probably hit a peak about 2 years ago, with Cover Corporation leading the pack.
And maybe it is time for a trough.
Ceres Fauna has just declared her leaving of hololive English while I was at church this morning.
Doomposting aside, I think that there are quite a few things at play that probably few of us truly comprehend.
For one, the Cover Corporation that we knew of is not the same one anymore. Their stable of talents are aplenty, they had gone public, and have invested in stupid big amounts of money in a fancy studio to support their 3D media offering.
Their senior management has also changed, with an old director on the hololive English side being replaced, and their longest supporting director (A-Chan) having left the company earlier this year.
There has also been lots of collaborations with other companies, and many other steps had been taken to monetise the hololive IP, or at least put things on a firm enough footing that the hololive IP is kept in a form that is at least legally defensible as such.
But in the VTubing sphere as a whole, Nijisanji English has collapsed, and a ton of other small corpos have shuttered up, even as the world gets increasingly more dangerous with many rather hard-headed attempts to force things to the way they were before COVID-19 changed how we lived, worked, and played.
Third spaces have been lost, yet we find that people are starting to find alternative ways of leaving their COVID-19 shells of solace. This is especially so due to the backlash from how social media has absolutely fucked up a lot of things that matter to people a whole lot, from elections to jobs, and everything in between. Generative AI lurks in the background, providing large companies with an excuse to splurge money on some nebulous ``AI'' concept that is loosely powered by these generative AI models---the return of investment is seemingly even higher than that of the previous technological hype of the blockchain.
All in all, the world's a mess, and people seem to pine for the ``good old days''.
Unfortunately, VTubing wasn't a part of that ``good old days''. And so when big [old] money gets involved, it seems inevitable that they would force their ways of doing things down---after all, if they weren't smart, they wouldn't be the ones holding on to the capital that the company so sorely needs as ``investment'', right?
That is hard to say.
If the old ways were truly the best, then there would be no reason for evolution into the new ways. And luck does play an unbelievably large role as well, even if it isn't always the most dominant.
VTubing flourishing during the COVID-19 years was happenstance meeting some form of preparation. But whether it is something that can make it into the mainstream media as a consistent revenue stream... is something to be seen.
I mean, who can forget the sitcom era of the 1990s, and then the reality TV era of the 2000s? They eventually fell off the radar, and became niched topics at some point.
Maybe VTubing is heading to that end state.
But what I do want to say is, there's a time for everything. Every peak must be surrounded by troughs; otherwise it wouldn't be a peak. VTubing has probably hit a peak about 2 years ago, with Cover Corporation leading the pack.
And maybe it is time for a trough.
A Little Bit More on the Flute Fair
Ah... stupid o'clock---the time of day where I sometimes grab an alcoholic drink, and start writing semi-readable nonsense.
So less than a week ago, I was a participant at this year's edition of the Autumn Flute Fair. I was normally just a passive participant, in the sense that I would spend time mostly at the trade floor, hanging out with the dealers, trying out flutes/piccolos, confusing people with music that they aren't used to (i.e. Chinese orchestral stuff), and the such. This time though, due to my affiliation with the King's Flute Choir, I was involved in quite a few of the other concert-like events. In the face of bonafide flute players [who do it Very Seriously], I stuck with going with The Big Flute instead.
Hardly anyone wants to play the contrabass flute for three big reasons:
So, why'd I play it?
Well, mostly because of reasons #1 and #2---I like low flutes after three decades of going high. And on that note, I get all the flashy stuff out of my system through ample dizi playing, and thus have no real wish to spend up to four times more time to master the Flute 1 parts. Most flute choirs are top-heavy anyway, and thus having more bass is always a good thing, making the role that The Big Flute play somewhat more interesting than might otherwise noted.
The flute Jamboree on Saturday afternoon was a fun one, and the closest to the largest combined flute choir-like entity that could be summoned during the Festival. The sonority of having a full-range flute choir when playing out chords was something to behold, especially when coupled with the good acoustics of the SOTA concert hall. While there were a total of three contrabass flutes lurking throughout all the performers, only two were available during the Jamboree proper (the Taiwan contingent came in late enough that they didn't manage/want to unpack their contrabass flute).
It was also interesting to note that of all the eight or so flute choirs that turned up for the Festival, there were only three contrabass flutes to go around. I knew that the contrabass flute wasn't that common, but I didn't realise just how uncommon it truly was.
For additional reference, The Big Flute is probably only the second contrabass flute to be in SIN city as at now, with the first one spending most of its time located in Johor Bahru due to the player [based in Singapore] finding it annoying to lug the heavy flute to and fro the Causeway for rehearsals with the flute choir that is based in Johor Bahru.
But I digress.
I won't write about the concerts, other than they were full of different harmonies due to their different composers.
I think I am likely done with writing anything else about the Festival for a while, even as I slowly find myself becoming a part of the flute fraternity of Singapore (and possibly SEA), possibly due to The Big Flute.
------
In other news, the upcoming month or two is going to be a mixed bag. On the one hand, things have finally tapered off somewhat due to the end of the year, with many of my team taking turns to go on long leave. On the other hand, I'm still stuck holding the fort, and having a couple of new mini-projects that I need to work on, as well as supervising an intern for a special project.
I know that I have no plans to travel out of SIN city, but damn I feel tired. We'll see how it goes.
I wasn't expecting it, but Brotato is a damn fun game. It's like a less claustrophobic version of The Binding of Isaac crossed with the ``be the bullet hell'' progression of Vampire Survivors, and it is addictively fun. I have been playing it at bursts, and have been enjoying it. It also has some quality of life options, like allowing the re-attempt of a failed wave to make it less annoying (I naturally took it---I'm an older man now with little time to spend on grinding unnecessarily).
100 Bullets is a very gritty story that is worth a read.
I think that's about it. The Anchor Strong beer isn't particularly strong (6.8%), but it is getting late. The last thing I would say is my bemusement at realising that an Applebot crawler is actively crawling this blog, possibly when its operators realise that a real-ish human is still writing new entries on it, as opposed to some AI-generated slop.
To the Applebot crawler: don't be a dick.
To everyone else; till next time.
So less than a week ago, I was a participant at this year's edition of the Autumn Flute Fair. I was normally just a passive participant, in the sense that I would spend time mostly at the trade floor, hanging out with the dealers, trying out flutes/piccolos, confusing people with music that they aren't used to (i.e. Chinese orchestral stuff), and the such. This time though, due to my affiliation with the King's Flute Choir, I was involved in quite a few of the other concert-like events. In the face of bonafide flute players [who do it Very Seriously], I stuck with going with The Big Flute instead.
Hardly anyone wants to play the contrabass flute for three big reasons:
- Shit's big, long, & heavy;
- Shit's not flashy; and
- Shit's expensive.
So, why'd I play it?
Well, mostly because of reasons #1 and #2---I like low flutes after three decades of going high. And on that note, I get all the flashy stuff out of my system through ample dizi playing, and thus have no real wish to spend up to four times more time to master the Flute 1 parts. Most flute choirs are top-heavy anyway, and thus having more bass is always a good thing, making the role that The Big Flute play somewhat more interesting than might otherwise noted.
The flute Jamboree on Saturday afternoon was a fun one, and the closest to the largest combined flute choir-like entity that could be summoned during the Festival. The sonority of having a full-range flute choir when playing out chords was something to behold, especially when coupled with the good acoustics of the SOTA concert hall. While there were a total of three contrabass flutes lurking throughout all the performers, only two were available during the Jamboree proper (the Taiwan contingent came in late enough that they didn't manage/want to unpack their contrabass flute).
It was also interesting to note that of all the eight or so flute choirs that turned up for the Festival, there were only three contrabass flutes to go around. I knew that the contrabass flute wasn't that common, but I didn't realise just how uncommon it truly was.
For additional reference, The Big Flute is probably only the second contrabass flute to be in SIN city as at now, with the first one spending most of its time located in Johor Bahru due to the player [based in Singapore] finding it annoying to lug the heavy flute to and fro the Causeway for rehearsals with the flute choir that is based in Johor Bahru.
But I digress.
I won't write about the concerts, other than they were full of different harmonies due to their different composers.
I think I am likely done with writing anything else about the Festival for a while, even as I slowly find myself becoming a part of the flute fraternity of Singapore (and possibly SEA), possibly due to The Big Flute.
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In other news, the upcoming month or two is going to be a mixed bag. On the one hand, things have finally tapered off somewhat due to the end of the year, with many of my team taking turns to go on long leave. On the other hand, I'm still stuck holding the fort, and having a couple of new mini-projects that I need to work on, as well as supervising an intern for a special project.
I know that I have no plans to travel out of SIN city, but damn I feel tired. We'll see how it goes.
I wasn't expecting it, but Brotato is a damn fun game. It's like a less claustrophobic version of The Binding of Isaac crossed with the ``be the bullet hell'' progression of Vampire Survivors, and it is addictively fun. I have been playing it at bursts, and have been enjoying it. It also has some quality of life options, like allowing the re-attempt of a failed wave to make it less annoying (I naturally took it---I'm an older man now with little time to spend on grinding unnecessarily).
100 Bullets is a very gritty story that is worth a read.
I think that's about it. The Anchor Strong beer isn't particularly strong (6.8%), but it is getting late. The last thing I would say is my bemusement at realising that an Applebot crawler is actively crawling this blog, possibly when its operators realise that a real-ish human is still writing new entries on it, as opposed to some AI-generated slop.
To the Applebot crawler: don't be a dick.
To everyone else; till next time.
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