Wednesday, August 26, 2026

Eileen-III is Back, and Evie-II is Here!

Thank the LORD.

Eileen-III was finally fixed. Motherboard, RAM, LCD panel---all replaced at once. An additional amount of nail-biting time later, she POST-ed, and finally booted into Windows 11.

The path to get here took quite a while. Like before, the parts took a while to show up, but after it did, the installation was more tedious than difficult for the technician, who had to come down for the third time.

When the display finally showed some life, I just went ``hallelujah!''. But at that point, we were close to disaster as the technician was of the opinion that due to Eileen-III's storage set up is a RAID 0, the SSDs will be corrupt and needed to be reformatted.

I didn't think it was the case, and was adamant to not have the two SSDs taken as two separate disks instead of the original single striped drive.

The Intel Rapid Storage tool showed that it could detect the RAID-array, and that it was failing. A quick look at the UEFI data showed that the second SSD was not detected. I managed to convince the technician to reseat the second SSD, and et voila, the RAID 0 worked, Windows booted, and everything was well.

At least from the hardware perspective.

There were some minor software issues, but that was quite straightforward to settle.

And thus, Eileen-III is back.

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After three years, I succumbed to the temptation and bought a new Steam Deck OLED from Shopitree. I first learnt of this from the iShop Changi website, where I actually was thinking of buying the Steam Deck from. But then I realised it was being fulfilled by Shopitree, and then realised that Shopitree was the industrial arm of GameMartz, a store that I had seen in Plaza Singapura that carried the Steam Deck. The delivery was supposed to be today, but they delivered it one day early, which is fantastic.

And I'm out of just a bit north of fifteen hundred dollars. Oh, the tempered glass protection? Best done just after unboxing, and before doing anything to avoid all the inevitable lint and what-not.

So now, I finally have a Steam Deck. She's called Evie-II. She's not the first portable hand-held gaming device---the old Dingoo A330 from 2010-08 is. So I'm retro-calling the Dingoo A330 as Evie.

``Evie'' means ``life'', an apt description for a handheld gaming device.

The case that Evie-II comes in can be split up into a harder inner lining that reduces the amount of space taken up by the entire case, while still providing protection for the protuding parts. The case itself is roughly the same size as the case for my HHKB2, which is an interesting coincidence.

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This evening, I'm heading out to audit a masterclass in dizi---the first time that I am auditing any masterclasses. Should be interesting. But first, I will get some mala-hotpot for today's OMAD meal.

And that's about the update I have for today. The off-in-lieu is going to go away soon, and from tomorrow, it is back to the regular grind.

Till the next update.

Sunday, August 23, 2026

Misery Loves Company

Ah. Now Eileen-II is starting to show weird symptoms. For instance, this strange blank horizontal line of dead pixels. Really starting to make the Steam Deck enticing, even though its price of nearly SGD1500 is really painful to look at. I really hope that the fix for Eileen-III will be successful, and that I can put away Eileen-II. What I don't want to do is to keep travelling back in time, from Windows 10 that is on Eileen-II now, to Windows 8 on Edythe-III---that would be even more terrifying.

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A thought came to mind recently as I was just riding the bus between points. If I claim that the two biggest super powers of humanity over everything else is the amount of [self-]discipline that we can muster, and the fact that we can figure out how to transfer knowledge at a rate faster than one life-time's worth in one-life time, then by extension, anything that can emulate those two properties will therefore give humanity a run for their money at being the apex.

Guess what is currently being trained on the carefully (and not-so-carefully) curated knowledge created by people at a pace that will make the puritan blush and claim the need to respect the Sabbath.

That's right---all these so-called ``large language models''. We train them with copious amounts of written material, and the training proceeds without stop for months at a stretch using hardware that may fail but definitely does not sleep.

So now, I am at a cross roads of reasoning.

If the two biggest super powers I claim are all there is that makes humanity superior, then I think we may be doomed a little as we are naively building our replacement at best, and superior at worst.

If the two biggest super powers I claim are not all there is that makes humanity superior, then I need to start thinking about what other super powers are there that sets us apart from fellow creations of God.

Modern philosophers have come up with the notion that what counts as something with a consciousness is one that has a certain aspect of embodiment, which is the idea of an integration of a vast variety of sensory information. More importantly, the claim is that intelligence that arises from the integration of this vast variety of sensory information is the definition of consiousness.

Now, we have two different problems here, most literally. These philosophers are arguing that humanity is not the only example of a conscious being, and that any other creature that does integration of large amounts of sensory information is also conscious. In other words, spiders are also conscious beings.

And if one starts instrumenting a trained large language model with all kinds of sensors (CPU temperature sensors of all contributing chips, fan speed sensors... you get the idea), then the large language model itself is also conscious.

Oh and that J-space thing from Anthropic that seemed to be very related to the ``global workspace'' concept? Totally related then.

And that's the first problem---we effectively found some kind of equivalence relation between humanity, animals, and large language models residing in their natural ``body'' of a data centre in terms of consciousness.

The second problem then is that the next super power I claim that sets humanity apart from all therefore cannot be that of embodiment. Perhaps the true super power here is the depth of care and cooperation that many clearly not-the-same-individuals are willing to have together, to form a self-supporting society.

``But MT, what about the whole `agentic framework' use case of the large language models?''

If you think carefully, the ``agentic framework'' is less of a cooperation of not-the-same-individuals, and more of a self-consistent role-play attempt borne by the same large language model, but under different prescribed roles. In some fundamental sense, the same large language model shares the same foundation from which all inference is formed, but the same cannot be said of humanity given our current understanding.

The equivalent approach in the world of the large language model might be to have different large language models self-organising to work towards a common goal, instead of relying on a strictly hierarchical or even [externally] orchestrated approach.

That said, I've not really thought much about this whole gotong royong aspect of humanity as a major super power, primarily because it seems like something that is trite---many animals help each other, so what makes humanity different through possessing this power? At this point, it seems more like what the modern philosophers are trying to do---separate humanity from the so-called artificial intelligences.

But I don't want to just do that. I want an answer that separates humanity from both artificial intelligences, and the rest of the animals. ``Just because God created us in His image'' is great for a faith-based explanation, but that's a cop out in this case, because it is reality that we are the apex of the world right now.

If we knew why and how, maybe we can have a more rational response to the rise of the AI.

Till the next update.

Wednesday, August 19, 2026

Apparently I'm Not Miserable Enough

I'm so done.

First, Eileen-III still isn't working despite a new mobo and new LCD panel. Technician bro thinks that the replacement mobo is DOA, and is pissed off enough that he's ordering all the parts that are likely to be linked to the video output problem on hand before the hopefully final assault.

Second, work-side some different kind of weird shit is happening. We do not speak of work here. Nevertheless, I'm put off by it.

Third, my damn rum chocolate bar was defaced by the family because someone gave shitty instructions [about cutting the chocolate I brought back from Kazakhstan], someone else followed it poorly [by cutting up all the chocolate that was not from Kazakhstan], and no one bothered to apologise, and I am now stuck with trying to solve the problem [of my poor rum chocolate bar being all fucked up and no longer a damn bar].

Fuck all that. Like, fuck the hell with all that. An off-in-lieu day was supposed to be calming, relaxing, and maybe even comfy. Not filled with bullshit after bullshit after bullshit.

At least I finally cleared the Last Judge in Silksong, and that's only because I was getting tired of the grind of my new avatar in Grim Dawn. But I messed up the Grand Gate, missing a half-spool, forgetting that I had rosaries on string and could break them to ``pay'' for something that was just there, and ended up in the Underworks instead.

😭

I'm not even going to jinx myself by asking if the night can get any worse.

That's all the misery for the day. Till the next update.

Monday, August 17, 2026

Am I Miserable [Enough]?

Well, here we are again, this time on a Monday. And I would like to report that things are Bad. The Dell technician came today to work on Eileen-III, and after replacing the motherboard, the display is still borked. So it means that there is something else that is broken, possibly the LCD assembly itself.

Which means that I need to take another day away from work to deal with this.

The good news is that before the technician's arrival, I had hooked up Eileen-III to the monitor via HDMI, and Praise the LORD it worked. That gave me some precious time to yoink out my save games for Mass Effect 1 and Mass Effect 2, among other hard-to-re-get things like things that I was torrenting, and some artefacts from AFE-JB/KFC.

``But wait MT, if Eileen-III is still borked, with her motherboard changed, just how are you writing this entry?''

Funny enough, on Eileen-II. I pulled her out of stasis, booted up her Windows 10 ass, updated everything like crazy, and managed to bring her up to the point where I could basically continue whatever I was working on since the last time I booted her up back in 2023-06 or so. She still works, and is good enough for me to do whatever I want, including playing me some Grim Dawn: Fangs of Asterkarn, though technically I'm literally replaying the base game all over again to build up a new character with the Berserker mastery instead of jumping into the new content, this time with a controller. I also managed to watch me some SGDQ 2026 VODs, since I didn't want to hook up the external monitor to watch some of the VTuber stuff in the background while working on other things. Eileen-II is running an old RTX2070-MaxQ (why I keep thinking this as an RTX2080 is something that I cannot fathom), and realistically, I really didn't want to overstress this long out of warranty machine that I resurrected from stasis just to tide through this period. It did take a couple of reboots to literally iron out the kinks in the dusty-ass circuits before Eileen-II would work correctly, and knowing just how good my luck is, I didn't want to push it too hard.

And so I'm here.

There are other bad things that have been happening to the people around me, and since they involve not-me, I don't feel comfortable talking about them. Nevertheless, I definitely want to comment that hearing what has been happening to people has made me a little sad, and for some particular things that I had been hearing, I'm actually pretty broken that such a thing could happen like that---I just never thought that it was possible for that kind of thing to occur like that. Maybe I'm just an idealist, or maybe I'm naive, or maybe I'm ``religious''---it just felt so... wrong. Like, I would honestly hear of such fuck ups in stories, but not to people I know?

(sigh)

Life do be like that. Looking out for myself is hard enough; looking out for the unfortunate is just hard mode. And looking out for folks whom you think ought to be good at looking out for themselves is just... what am I doing with my life.

If everyone vents and confides in me, to whom do I vent and confide in then? God always listens and hears, and naturally He acts in His own mysterious ways, but I'm not as Christ-like as I ought to be to take things in that ``large'' way that He does---I'm just not good enough. But when presented with someone who might be interested to listen and to help, I find myself in the strange situation where I don't know how to ask for the said help, and more importantly, what kind of help it is that I am seeking.

Such a stupid situation eh. And people come to me for advice. Fear for their sanity as you fear for mine, gentle reader.

In other news, I started back cycling, though not at the time that I was intending to---it was a Friday afternoon at stupid hot o'clock, and I think I'm paying the price for that with general headaches for the past two days. Oh, and I think I can definitively say that I can no longer eat raw seafood safely---ran an experiment of eating raw oysters on Thursday for dinner, and on Friday evening, I started to have diarrhoea again, and it is still going on today. I've drained all the carbon pills that I bought in preparation to my trip to Astana, and all I seemed to have succeeded at is to make the really stinky and really clay-ey stool gray due to the activated carbon mix.

Blechh.

In theory, I was suppose to cycle this morning. But yeah, fuck that---didn't happen. Not going to do tomorrow morning either because I need to get into office early to do some rather ``inspired'' work (write down the runbooks before I totally forget what is going on). I'm currently targetting Wednesday stupid o'clock in the morning for the next cycle, a 14.5 mi-ish affair, which is basically the north-east riverine loop with a bounce along the park connector that ends at the Tampines Road junction.

There's also a good chance (maybe!) that Wednesday is when the replacement LCD assembly is available, and so I will need to take that day off to finally sort out what is hopefully the last possible issue of Eileen-III.

Here's to a more peaceful week than whatever nonsense I have been facing. Till the next update.

Monday, August 10, 2026

Back from Land of Quality Potassium

Ah... it's good to be back home. I was in Astana, Kazakhstan last week for the International Olympiads in Artificial Intelligence (IOAI), doing observation duty for work purposes. It was summer there; the weather was warmer than in SIN city, but thanks to the lower humidity, it was actually overall cooler than out here.

I won't talk about work stuff---there's a lot to be processed, and I really don't want to have to do that more than the necessary amount of times. Besides, this blog isn't really meant to talk about work stuff, but whatever I want to talk about in general that isn't work related.

So I got back home. And Eileen-III has a blown out screen---two red flashes on the alien-head power switch, followed by eight blue flashes, cycled indefinitely. When I first saw this yesterday, I was fuming; I had come home from a week of hard work overseas, and wanting to play either Mass Effect 3 or Grim Dawn: Fangs of Asterkarn and being unable to do either was annoying. I had to power Eileen-III down for the week due to some additional [electrical] works that Pa wanted to do during the week I was away---I had that weird feeling that I should've said no to him, but I gave in, and this was the end result. Thankfully, I had ordered the extra on-site servicing along with Eileen-III all those years ago, figuring that if I was plonking big bucks for the hardware, I might as well pony up the extra amount that would be needed to repair it in the five years ahead. I think they are going to replace the motherboard, but that isn't coming for a few weeks.

Thank God for that.

As mentioned, I only got back home yesterday, just on the evening of National Day itself. Didn't watch the parade, went straight to getting kway chap at the nearby duck rice stall, then spent the rest of the evening frustrated over the non-working Eileen-III.

The more astute might find a contradiction. If Eileen-III were down, why/how can I enter this entry? Did I mis-use work hardware to post what is definitely a personal blog entry?

Nah... when I was following the instructions of troubleshooting from technical support this early afternoon, I found that the external monitor was showing the original wallpaper that I had set for my log in screen, before going blank. On a hunch, I did a blind log in (i.e. just hitting ``enter'' then typing my password, and then ``enter'' again). I managed to log in, and then a few keyboard shortcuts later, I was effectively duplicating whatever was supposed to be on Eileen-III's screen onto the monitor. I had to turn down the resolution from 2650×1600 to 1920×1080, and physically re-rotate my external monitor back to landscape, but other than that, everything else seemed to work fine.

And so here I am, significantly less unhappy than before. I caught up on some of the fun YouTubers, leaving the stuff that I would normally watch in the background aside for another time when I had two working screens.

I got some dizi practise in earlier in the morning too, while I was waiting for technical support to finally contact me after filing that service request (this one, I did use the virtual machine on my work machine to file because it was infinitely less painful than trying to do so with a stupid-ass potato of a phone).

Now I'm just wondering if I want to start my cycling tomorrow morning again, or defer it till after I have done the staff appraisals as reporting manager. Part of me thinks that I should not delay the start, since it is as good a [workout] system as any to get back into to avoid myself going more nuts. But then there's that laziness that lurks in the background...

...I'll probably just muscle it up and go cycle. Time zone difference between Astana and SIN city is about 3 hours earlier, so it really makes no difference either way.

And that's all I have to share for now. Till the next update then.