I seriously am not intending of making it a regular thing of writing an entry about once a week. But for now, it seems like it is going to be this way for a while.
I have a busted up right shoulder. It's basically a sprain on one of the anterior ligaments---it's going to take about six weeks for it to be fully recovered, assuming that I do the right thing and not aggravate it. This means that I can't do any of the usual morning exercises from now till roughly the end of NaNoWriMo. This is what happens when I use bad mechanics to move masses around (15kg on the first in an awkward ``up shrugged'' shoulder angle, 20kg ×2 for the water cooler refills). It makes typing on the laptop rather difficult, since the normal typing angle has my arms extended forwards.
I was given some strong NSAIDs in addition to a mild oral steroid dose to reduce the inflammation to reduce the pain and aggravation on the ligament through all the movements. It's definitely much better now, despite not being on any of the meds for the last two days or so. I just need to remember to not load up my arm with weights.
In other news, after more than a year, I can finally start cycling to and fro the office again. It had always been one of my wishes when I started work at the new place, but the time was never opportune---within a couple of weeks of first arriving and settling in, I was ``shipped off'' off-site to work on a project that was... problematic for six months or so, before the whole COVID-19 pandemic kicked in with us having to work from home due to the ``circuit breaker''. After the so-called Phase Two kicked in, I was told to return to work at the office, but my original assigned space was no longer mine to use, and ended up being a nomad, which made stowing away a foldable bicycle in the office a tough thing to do.
It was only recently that we had our office space sorted out that I could finally bring out my bicycle to cycle. And it has definitely helped my mood a lot. In place of the exercises that I did in the morning, I know replaced it with semi-cardio from the daily trip to and fro the office. I am amused that my legs could really take a beating---the round trip was about 8 miles, but every now and then I would throw in a 12-mile ``north east riverine loop'' run.
Because of one such move on Friday, I am pleased to announce that my Eddington Number for cycling is at E15.
I wondered if the cycling was something that was safe for my upper arms or not... so far it seems like that are no adverse side effects. I had obtained a better lifting handle for moving my bicycle about with my left (i.e. off) hand, and have been mindful in not using bad mechanics. The steering on my bicycle is very light, and thus there was little need to jerk my handle bars much.
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I mentioned how cycling was improving my mood. That is a fact. I think the rush from the physical activity was acting as an anti-depressant the way running would be done by me in the past when I was studying in the US to act as an anti-depressant. Already I feel significantly less affected by intrusive thoughts---when the body is adequately tired out through the physical activity, there just seems to be less energy left for the mind to come up with random, unnecessary, and downright bizarre ideation. It is also perhaps a side effect of just time and God doing their things in helping me to heal, which is a hilarious observation considering the massive amounts of changes that I am forced to seriously deal with in general.
But those are thoughts for a different medium, like something that is on paper. You know, like a paper journal.
I recently found out about ElectroBOOM, a cool Youtube dude who talks about electrical and electronics engineering in a way that is not unlike old school Mythbusters or even (haha) Brainiac. The content is really cool, the presentation is a good mix of funny accent, physical humour, and self-deprecative aphorisms all rolled into one. I really recommend giving his Youtube channel a watch to learn something. He does plug his sponsors in his videos, but they are often done in a tasteful way that makes it clear that it is a plug, while still maintaining some kind of continuity with respect to the content of the video that he was making.
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October is almost done, just another 12+ days more to go. And with that, the self-imposed hermitting is likely to end temporarily as we transit into the annual National Novel Writing Month of November. I am probably ready to meet up with people again when next month rolls around, but as always, it's all about the circumstances. It is not that I have everything figured out already---I don't---but that I suppose it is time to just reconnect with people who claimed to be my friends once again.
I have lost my best friend already, and I think that losing even more friends, best or otherwise, really isn't going to be good for my future mental health.
In some ways, I don't think that I have fully resolved the issues that are in my head. In many ways, I think I have just put them aside in the vault that used to be called ``MT's feelings'', the same place that all my feelings have resided in since before I turned twenty. I'm not sure why I opened up that vault when I was twenty-one, and right now, I'm not sure if I want to keep it open still. Only God will know what I ought to do with it, but for now, I'm just putting things away where they cannot harm me.
Jesus Christ is my personal saviour, and in many senses of the word, my life is no longer mine to dictate but His to control.
Maybe I am going to end up becoming even more insufferable. Initially, I was hard to tolerate because I was just so... cerebral about everything. Throw in now the born-again discovery of personal salvation in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, would it just be the case that my destiny is to be one who will forever be apart from the rest of the world?
Is that... a good thing?
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