It's July Already?

Woah, the second of July is upon us. As at noon-ish, literal halfway point of 2023.

Not sure how/what to feel about this. On the one hand, we're getting closer the end of the year, and with it perhaps we will get to cast the dark shadows that came from the COVID-19 pandemic away from our collective trauma, to redevelop a new sense of optimism.

That new sense of optimism is important in this time and age. The doom-saying has been on overdrive for the past three to five years, and it really does show, at least for me.

I cannot seem to live the day without getting blasted with information on global warming, some new development in the spats that come from geo-political posturing/brinkmanship, ever-increasing threats to the livelihood of the vast majority of the white-collar workers through ``AI'', uncontrollable price increases ``due to inflation'', and all the associated over-corrective behaviours that some of these events trigger.

No wonder I'm feeling down more than half the time.

I personally cannot tell how some people can maintain their optimism. Everything just looks so... bleak. The ``Me! Me! Me!'' world that we have today is just such a cavernous echo chamber that there are many times where I cannot even hear myself think.

One might say that I can always walk away. And the truth is, I have been doing so.

Of the few [online] communities that I have been a part of, I've more or less walked away from them all. Some I left because the members became too militant and extreme in their desperation of defining their own safe space, which often times end up creating a similar toxic environment as the one they are acutely hurting from. Some I left because the nature of the community has changed---from an indie passion-project where I could interact nearly personally with and willing to support with whatever I have, to a complete commercial entity that only cares about their shareholders, who incidentally prefer using an unpaid-for third-party ``community'' environment that I didn't agree with.

But these are all about the past---thinking about them isn't bad per se, but if all they are giving are these bad vibes, I really shouldn't be thinking about them, if possible.

(sigh)

With the next half of the year coming up, what should I be looking forward to?

Well, there's always NaNoWriMo in November. It'll be the fifteenth year I'm a part of it (URL will point to the correct place some time in November 2023, so don't fret). The community there was always fractured along the axes of old-bird versus newbie, professional writers versus amateur writers, the non-students versus the students. It's... not a bad thing, but just something to take note of. I'm an old-bird amateur writer who is not a student, and am probably one of the few old-birds that have not done fiction writing professionally (i.e. getting paid to publish).

There are couple of engineered long weekends here and there through careful set up of my leave, so that's always nice. I'm steadily building back my stamina and strength in cycling, and am slowly incorporating cycling back into my set of activities. Nothing hardcore with the road cycles and what-not---just me, my Brompton from November 2017, and wherever I can go, depending on the time of day/week. So some longer trips during the off-peak periods from the engineered long weekends are going to be a part of what's happening.

We're probably going to get a couple of [small] performances coming in for TGCO, which is always a treat---I've always felt it weird if a performing arts group... doesn't perform. Aside from TGCO, I'm starting to prepare my way towards being a more regular musician (with Aurelia) for worship as a part of the music ministry of PPCC.

Aside from all that, more reading, I suppose, and more games to be played on Eileen-III. Nothing on the horizon for the dating front, because honestly, I don't have a good feeling about dating and getting in a relationship. At my age, it feels like... the pros of being with someone are no longer as superlative as the cons. When young, one's future is much more vague, making it easier to meld/remodel it according to the shared expectations of one's partner.

When one gets older and more set in their ways, there is almost no room for negotiations---the keyword being ``almost''. So... the odds aren't good.

As I might have mentioned before, when it's my time to go, it'll be my time, and I'll just... go. I don't expect to be remembered, so it's okay to be alone in the end.

I just kinda pity whomever is going to do the final clean up because I probably won't be able to settle things properly before my time's up. Sorry in advance to whomever that is.

Anyway, I ran out of momentum with what to write. Just wanted to rant a little at the half-year mark for 2023, before I become completely dejected at the prospects of life in general.

Till the next update.