Comically Oversized Apple

I ventured farther than ``downstairs'' today. All in the search for this:

Okay, I did more than just look for a comically oversized apple, but one of the goals was to find the comically oversized apple. It's sort of a nostalgia trip---a core memory I had from way back when was that I won something, and Mr Lin Min asked what I wanted as a prize, and I said ``a large apple'', and he fuckin' delivered. I think it was just a ``regular'' fuji apple instead of the ironically named ``red delicious'', but when one's a wee kid, that apple is comically oversized, and I remembered grinning like an idiot at it for quite a few days before finally eating it.

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It has been a while since I last stepped onto the famous Orchard Road in SIN City. Now, to be fair, the road itself is not too shabby---five-metre wide sidewalks that allow a good amount of walking without getting run into by people [for the most part], and the remnants of 2025's Christmas decorations still lining the one direction road itself.

But Orchard Road the metonym never really sat well with me. It is the epitome of profligate consumerism, with brand names dotting every possible retail space as idolatory shrines, with their cult-like worshippers in the rattiest clothing flocking eagerly to suck on the teat of the mighty brand by buying whatever over-priced campy knick-knack that is on sale.

``MT, don't you buy really expensive shit too?''

Well... yes. Just not in the form of jewellery, watches, handbags, clothing and the like. I mean, I can make the argument of utility here, but realistically, I'm just not a fan of these crazy brand name things. Especially not after a certain conglomeration effectively controls the seemingly disparate brands. To be fair, there are also other such conglomerates, but this one is just a bit too easy to remember.

In other words, the exclusivity that people are seeking through these brand names are effectively a sham. But then again, the people who end up buying these items don't want something so exclusive that no one knows that they have just spent ${large-number}-dollars on the thing.

A-hem. Anyway, Orchard Road. Good walk from Orchard Station all the way to Dhoby Ghaut Station. The trip to Orchard Station involved navigating the cluster-fuck that is now happening at Ang Mo Kio Station due to its expansion into an interchange for the CRL. The route from the bus stop to the station isn't complicated, but the fools who walk the narrow pathways... Mein Gott!---absolute cunts they are. Sauntering in the middle of the fucking pathway, walking two/three abreast over a space that is no larger than two metres; it's enough to piss me off.

Since they didn't give a damn about others, I decided to return the favour Exodus/Hammurabi's Code style. But to explain that requires a small divergence into something a little off-tangent.

I used to walk like a normal person, you know, arms swinging to the front and back. Then I smacked someone on the rear swing at some point, and reduced it to just from the neutral to the front, with the added benefit of not giving someone behind a free arm to lever into a lock. Then at some point between 2019 and now, the sheer number of people being packed into a unit square of fixed dimensions went up, and coincidentally, the idea of personal space/courtesy went down. That's when I started to switch over to the so-called ``interview stance'' when I don't have my backpack in front, which has one's hands between the belt and the chest, front facing, neutral, but ready to move where necessary. From this position, if something/someone stupid comes in, I can at least parry off and/or guard. With my backpack in front, I don't usually have to do weird things like that, but instead just touch my opposite shoulder with my hand to create a nice elbow lead for anyone who wants to push themselves into my backpack-leading front.

For the purposes of the story though, the backpack is where it ought to be (i.e. behind), and I'm just walking. I raised a guard, and just walked through the space without losing momentum. I think I heard swearing, but I had my noise-cancelling earphones, and had already walked on, including crossing the road.

``MT, couldn't you just say `excuse me' like a civilised person?''

I could. But no one is listening to anyone anyway, and I've also gotten to the point in my life where I realise that if no one else gives any fucks, then I'd be a monkey's uncle if I abode by the same.

AAaaaaaaaaanyway, Orchard Road. Nice walk. I went into Ngee Ann City for a spell, and had lunch out at OrchardGateway on a whim. Hopped on the NEL for one stop to Clarke Quay Station to swing by the Don Don Donki there to get the comically oversized apple, and other supplies. And yes, it included some Nikka Black Deep Blend Whisky, which is damn strong (or I'm getting damn weak only chugging parallel imported Jack Daniel's).

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In other news, I found myself playing Mad Max on Steam. It's... under-rated, for sure. It has that Borderlands vibe with Batman: Arkham Asylum combat mechanics. I'm still in the early game, but it has gotten me hooked.

I think that's about it for now. Till the next update, I suppose.

Oh, and that comically oversized apple? It's really too much apple for one person at one sitting. Also, I think it might actually be a Hokuto.