It has been a long while since I last wrote here. Life has been treating me somewhat fairly (a rarity!) and so there's little to complain/think about. It is rather paradoxical, I think, that I only have the inspiration to write anything when I am upset at something, and not because I'm just happy at something. Perhaps it is just the way I have been wired up---I don't like harping on my successes but I keep revisiting my failures time and again to wonder why those were failures, and play the ``what-if'' game on them.
Life has been treating me fairly. Ida and I are still together, going strong, supporting each other despite our crazy school schedules. I'm not struggling with homework too much, being able to understand a little more of what I'm doing each day. The near-constant hanging out on #cslounge and with the people in real life puts me in good company of those who are fairly like-minded. Aikido practice, while mildly gruelling due to my rather unfit state, has been fun and fruitful; I think I'm starting to get the hang of how to move my body in a rather fluid way. Flute choir has interesting music to play, as does Kiltie Band---while I don't really identify that strongly with the music nor the people in these music groups, I respect their abilities and I respect the music, and try my best to do justice to the pieces that we play.
Soon I will graduate. Wow. That's rather sudden I think, considering that it felt not too long ago when I was agonising whether I could get into College/University or not. Well, that cycle is probably going to repeat itself again, when I start applying for graduate schools. Graduation puts me in a funny mood, on the one hand I'm glad that I'm more or less done with the busy-bee work and can finally do things that ``count'', on the other hand I miss the slightly less loaded relationships that I have with people over here. If these two get reconciled somehow, it would be awesome.
I am like a nomad. The only two groups of people that I identify with consistently are the Singaporeans, and the geeks. But that aside, I don't really identify that strongly with any distinct groups of people, at least from now. Perhaps all these travels to a faraway land have changed my perception on identity---the ultimate identity is one that doesn't exist, and that all other identities are likely to just be an excuse to exclude people. But isn't that the very reason why we have many of society's problems, that one group of people choose to not acknowledge the existence of another?
I am an activist. But I don't believe in civil disobedience and anything that gets you afoul of the law. I am a mathematical activist, always wanting to have change backed by solid proof within the axioms (law) of the system. I think that such activism is more productive than the blatant abuse of the law---the latter gets one into jail and makes one look like an idiot, no matter how good the platform may be. I am no Legalist---the law can be (and most likely to be) wrong in several areas and thus needs to be amended. But these amendments ought to be carried out through due process, rather than through [passive-]aggressive irrational activities. I believe in the concept of the moral mandate---if you do things ``by the book'', you gain the moral mandate, and with the moral mandate, you can sway people to your cause. The moral mandate sways people not because it is the ``right thing'' to do---it sways people because the manner in which you do it shows people that your ideas were well-thought of, and that they address a real situation. Many activists fail because they do not have the moral mandate; shock-advertisements and extremist perspectives are not going to win one the support that one desperately needs for one's goals.
And now, I am hungry. Heheheh... until next time.
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