It's been almost a month since the last update. What might be new now?
Well, thanks to really bad behaviours of society in general, we are now in a lockdown in all but name. Those of us who can work from home are now demanded to work from home by law, and the only times that we are allowed to leave our primary dwelling is to purchase necessities like food. Oh, there's the whole talk about allowing us to go out and exercise, but I think that's a loophole that is going to be closed soon thanks to all the clueless people who decide to have a ``one last party'' before the city quasi-quarantine measures kick in.
Fools. The only people that they are going to hurt are just themselves.
Anyway, I will not spare another thought for those cretins. I already have much on my mind.
I'm not doing that well.
V'ir abg sryg guvf yriry bs shax fvapr gur qnex qnlf bs zl nggrzcgvat gb qb n CuQ. Ng yrnfg gura (naq orsber), V pbhyq trg uryc eryngviryl rnfvyl. Vebavpnyyl, vg vf jura V nz urer va zl ubzr pvgl gung V pnaabg trg uryc gung rnfvyl.
Naq rira vs V qvq trg uryc, jbhyq V or noyr gb ernyyl fgneg cvrpvat gur guvatf gung ner va zl urnq naq pnhfvat zr hagbyq nzbhagf bs haarprffnel cnva?
Orvat sbeprq gb jbex ng ubzr qbrf abg uryc znggref. V nz pbasvarq gb dhnegref, fgnevat ng zl jbex yncgbc fperra sbe nyzbfg rirel qnl bs gur jrrx---fher gurer vf ab bssvpvny cbyvpl gung bar zhfg jbex bire choyvp ubyvqnlf be gur jrrxraq, ohg V guvax gung gurer ner vzcyvpngvbaf gung bar bhtug gb qb fb. V fgvyy trg rznvyf bire choyvp ubyvqnlf/jrrxraqf, naq V'z fgvyy trggvat vafgnag zrffntrf eryngvat gb jbex bire gubfr crevbqf, naq ng nyy gvzrf bs gur qnl.
Fher, V'ir orra gbyq gung V fubhyq yrnea gb vtaber gurz bhgfvqr bs bssvpr ubhef. Ohg vg'f uneq gb qb fb, bxnl? V qba'g yvxr gb yrnir guvatf ylvat nebhaq gung arrqf gb or qbvat orpnhfr vg vfa'g arng! Va gur raq, qrfcvgr tvira n 40-ubhe jbex-jrrx ol qrsvavgvba, V abeznyyl raq hc jbexvat ng 20% bire gvzr ba nirentr, cre jrrx, pybpxrq.
``Url ZG, lbh'er abg obea lrfgreqnl... guvf vf gur abez va gur erny jbeyq! Lbh'er yhpxl gung lbh bayl unq gb jbex 20% bire gvzr! Va zl vaqhfgel, vg vf gur abez gb jbex sbhegrra ubhe qnlf! Lbhe chal avar gb gra ubhe qnlf vf abguvat, fb whfg fhpx vg hc, ohggrephc!''
Jryy... shpx lbh vs gung'f jung lbh guvax. V unir guvatf gung V jnag gb qb bhgfvqr jbex, naq abj V'z gbb gverq gb qb gurz nsgre jbexvat. Jura V jbex k ubhef, V shpxvat jbex gubfr k ubhef. V qba'g trg gb fvg nebhaq naq gjvqqyr zl guhzof jnvgvat sbe gvzr gb cnff---V ohea rirel fvatyr oenva pryy svthevat bhg jung arrqf gb or qbar qhevat gung gvzr. V raq gur qnl, rkunhfgrq.
V pna'g jbex sbhegrra ubhe qnlf. Uryy, V pna'g rira jbex gra ubhe qnlf. V'yy tb penml.
Gung'f ebhtuyl jung vf unccravat abj. V nz tbvat penml.
V nz ungvat zlfrys zber rnpu qnl. V ungr zlfrys sbe orvat fhpu n pbzcyrk crefba jvgu jnagf naq arrqf gung tb orlbaq jung n wbo pna cebivqr. V ungr zlfrys sbe abg orvat gur zrpunavzbgeba gung V gubhtug V jnf.
Shpx lbh, shpx zr, ZG.
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In different news, I've finally finished up the accompaniment concept for Ruminative Thoughts for Concert Flute. I had written the main melody and theme for a long time, but was stalled on the accompaniment. I am really not into writing accompaniment with full scale harmony and counterpoint---partly because I wasn't really trained in it, relying on mostly my ears to tell me if it works or not, and partly because that's the part that takes the most time to set up, possibly due to the former reason. So insted of writing the ``full'' accompaniment for the piece, I ended up with some basic concepts, leaving space for a more enterprising individual (or even future me) to fill in the blanks.
I still have another piece, Cantabile in F♯ Minor for Concert Flute and Piano that is also done pending accompaniment, but this time, it is in collaboration with GY, and he hasn't really passed me his take on the piano part yet. Since this COVID-19 became a bigger thing, it had been hard to link up with him to get things moving along.
Currently I'm in the middle of preparing the conductor's score for the latest dizi solo that I had played, 《山村迎亲人》. I'm doing this again because we had some changes with the score since the performance, and that we had brought in some low brass and low woodwinds to help us, thus changing the original orchestration.
Maybe after that I will start working on one of the older concepts that currently don't have any names. I usually number my pieces based on when I came up with the concept, not when I have completed them. Perhaps this will make the numbering scheme more easy to understand.
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In a final sort of update, I'm staying clear of Facebook for now. There has been too much news, both bad and nonsensical, about the COVID-19 situation. As I had said in the earlier part of this blog post that I'm not doing well, and seeing all these negative things are really not helping me. The last thing that I wrote on my ``wall'' (I still hate that term, by the way) is that I am feeling dejected (not depressed!), and am in no danger of killing myself or anyone.
Those conditions still hold. I am still dejected, and am still in no danger of killing myself or anyone. I would also add that I am in no danger of hurting myself either, though I cannot confirm if I do end up hurting anyone else.
I don't even know why I keep writing here any more. Blogs are so passé---maybe only Brian still reads this. If so, hi Brian---I know I promised that I will talk to you at some point, but I don't have the balls nor the organisation to do so. So, sorry for the moment. Same for roticv.
And same for Chara. I feel bad because I think she keeps thinking that somehow she is a big cause for what I am feeling, but it really isn't. She feels bad that I'm in this situation and that she doesn't know how to help make it better. I feel bad that I am making her feel bad etc. But I doubt she is reading this either, and if she is, I'll say it again: sorry love, please give me some time to figure out just what is wrong in my head.
Well, that's enough for now. Till the next update.
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