One Sixth-ish Through August

Okay, it's Sunday, and we're about halfway through the first third of the month.

Bram Moolenaar passed away just a few days ago. For the confused, he is the creator and maintainer of vim, my favourite text editor, though ironically it is not the one I use for writing blog/NaNoWriMo entries (I use Q10 for that). I didn't know him personally, and was therefore quite surprised to learn that he was 60+ years old and had passed away.

In my mind, he was always some middle-aged dude, like almost all imaginations I have of computer scientists/programmers. But then again, I'm middle-aged now, and this would naturally make them... much older now.

Mortality really does make one think.

I've not really feared death before, even before being saved. Then, death to me was just the ceasing of existence, and I was strangely fine with that. I would not deliberately seek my own death (suicide ideation notwithstanding), but if death were to come, I would probably just quietly go into the dark night.

Now after being saved, I know that my death is just leaving the mortal coil and heading into the presence of God. Still not much fear, perhaps having a little bit of hope in it instead, seeing that I would be in the presence of my Creator.

But until I am dead, I'm still here, and therefore I will try to make the best of my existence here. Many say that the advancement of the Kingdom is of the highest priority, and I do not deny that. But I do wonder if the direct and somewhat unsolicited approaches are indeed the right way to proceed.

It's a bit like being a super-fan of something---most people that one approaches won't really enjoy being bombarded with one's otaku-esque behaviour, no matter the subject matter. I suppose with the large reach of Christianity, the evangelical behaviour has been observed by the world at large for a couple of thousand years, and with it comes the larger [over-]reaction when being evangelised at in an unsolicited manner. I do not reject how some of my fellow Christians might choose to share the gospel, but I do not think it the best way to do so, as a personal preference.

I believe that salvation is important, but I also strongly believe that if it is God's Will for someone to be saved, that person will find their way to God in one form or another---any machinations that us human disciples can come up with pale in comparison. The best thing that we ought to do is to live as good examples of a person who has accepted Christ in their life, and to show the fruits of that salvation to act as a beacon to draw the unsaved to come forth on their own free will to hear and heed the gospel.

(sigh)

Anyway, I was thinking about the whole ``get married'' bit recently. And I really cannot convince myself it is a good idea. It's about putting too much of oneself into another in the form of trust. And to say that I have trust issues, is like saying that the Atlantic Ocean has some water.

How many times have my relationships failed due to the other party violating the trust that I had implicitly placed in her?

I'm getting old. I don't have that kind of intrepid nature like before; in short, I cannot afford to put myself out there again, just to be fucked over for one reason or another.

Okay, that's enough depressing shit. On to something slightly better.

Some time back, I mentioned about Vampire Survivors, Magic Survival, and HoloCure (the Steam release is happening on 2023-08-17). Thanks to a certain gaming Kirin's live stream, I learnt of a cool new twist to the genre: Halls of Torment. It is, as Fauna's video title suggests, a cross between Vampire Survivors and Diablo IV.

Now, I've not played any Diablo games after Diablo II, but after having tried out the awesome demo version, I agree wholeheartedly with Fauna. The way I would describe it would be a bite-sized mouse-click saving version of action-RPGs. Imagine Torchlight, Diablo, or Grim Dark, but with the individual acts kept to a duration of no more than 30 minutes, and with no need to click anything to auto-proc the auto-attacks and skills. There is still progression a la Vampire Surivors (thus technically making Halls of Torment a rogue-lite instead of a rogue-like the way Jupiter Hell is). The aesthetics is also much akin to the gothic style that these action-RPGs are like, and the boss fights are hard compared to what Vampire Survivors have.

All in all, a cool twist. I'm sure I'll have many hours of fun playing it.

Speaking of many hours, I'm about 79% through the Shadow of the Tomb Raider, according to the in-game counter. Shadow of the Tomb Raider has been scratching that exploration itch that I had been having for aa while. Maybe after I've completed this, I might really start on The Long Dark.

But we'll see.

I'm feeling tired now, so I guess I'll stop. Till the next update.