Reaching out from within the shell, I guess that's something that I probably haven't been able to do well at all, considering all the crap that I have been though. It's a little strange what a little show and some isolation can do to clear up one's mind.
I don't really speak my mind, do I? Most of the time, no one talks to me in a way that reminds me that I'm a human, at least, till recently. A few nervous breakdowns later, I start to realise that perhaps I'm not walking as alone as I thought that I might be.
While many people do not try to reach out to me at all, there are those few who actually do. Maybe it is time to rethink about what I'm doing with myself, maybe it is time to relearn how to be more open and frank with myself all over again. Maybe, I should be more discerning to whom I should be trusting, and maybe, to those who trust, I should be more accepting of their concern.
Maybe I should start learning how to be a human once more, and shed that hardened shell of a persona that I have been using to protect myself.
Toning it down... that's what many people have been telling me. They have a point, I guess, about me being a little too over the top at times.
Self-doubt. Lots and lots of self-doubt. Sometimes I wonder why I even try so hard. Maybe I should loosen up a side of me, while not compromising what has made me successful thus far, I should be a little more relaxed in other parts of me.
*sigh*
I think I'm rambling on again... I shall stop here. It is late and I need to sleep anyway, so, until next time, I guess.
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