Pseudo-long Rant

It's almost the correct time for a rant—when it's like late and I'm half comatose (which means that the usual mental barriers are lowered ever so slightly). So yeah, it's been a tough month. So much has happened that I don't think I'll ever be coherent enough to start explaining; nor do I really want to talk about the specifics of the incidents that have occurred.

Suffice to say, tensions here are really high. So much for the "new beginning". Ha. That never happens... since the protagonist is one and the same. So it's back to the old habits and ways of life that I have been so used to for so long. That means, I'm back to ultra-mugging mode and self-exploratory/discovery mode, with as little reliance on people as possible. I've learnt a valuable lesson; never to stick to one group of acquaintances for too long. To quote someone, "familiarity breeds contempt", and indeed it is starting to become true within this little group of people whom I have hung out with for almost a semester and a half.

Now, I'm all alone again. Hahahaha... seems ironic that at the end of the day, despite expending effort to be nice and friendly and whatever, I'm still being isolated from the main populace, partially by my own actions, and partially by the actions of the people who are around me.

So, homework was a pain. Like, seriously, a real pain. There's always so much to do, and so little time to do them; it could be because of the over-loading that I've done in order to play catch-up. Probably the only redeeming thing about it all is that during this emotionally tumultous period, I've found other people who can be my support here. These people may not understand me fully (but who does, really?), but they provide the listening ear and human presence that my life so desperately needs. It's quite interesting, how alliances shift almost daily.

I've re-read the translation of Sun Tzu's Art of War. Time to move on in life... everything's only a little set back, and being the fighter that I naturally am, I should be able to bounce back and re-take on the world. Nevermind what people say/think/care; I will do what is necesary.

That said, I feel so much more detached to my life, which is strangely fascinating. I mean that while I am here and there's so much pressure and stuff, I have this sudden calmness that has appeared out of nowhere and feel as though I am on top of things. Hopefully, this is indeed a good thing.

Okay, it's 0140hrs now... and I need to go swimming at about 0700hrs, which means that I should be sleeping now if I want to be able to swim without sinking.

Ciao.