Let the Challenge Begin

Life seems to be one colossal dream---the people you meet, the things you do, the things you think about, the successes you enjoyed, the pain that you anguished over, the fear that you experienced---all of these are just figments of an overall dream that makes you who you are. And there doesn't seem to be a provable way of waking from this dream; some might say that one will awaken from the dream when one is dead, but that is something that cannot really be proven given our current understanding.

One colossal dream, marked by periods of happiness and long periods of intense depression; such is the life of a damned person. Am I a damned person? Sometimes I wonder deeply about that thought... many indications seem to suggest that I am actually not that damned, but given the premise that life is one colossal dream, do I even trust what I seem to be seeing?

Hmm... if this life is just a dream, then why am I treating it so seriously? Why am I still unable to take things up and put them down in a more carefree way?

Perhaps life is not a dream after all, and I'm just being all confused about what is real and what isn't. Maybe I'm just delusional and am in need of treatment, or maybe I'm just a crank, a crackpot, an eccentric oddity trying to fit into an orderly world.

Or maybe I'm overanalysing this again... anyway...

The reason why I brought this up was that after being in Singapore for more than 3 months, everything that happened in Pittsburgh seems like a dream away. The people whom I studied, ate, drank, dated and had fun with all seem like apparitions from a bygone past, a past that I'm soon trying to keep unacknowledged. This is almost as bad as back in secondary school, I suppose, where till now I still have... issues... about that place and some of the people.

I think the times I spent in Carnegie-Mellon University were among the best years of my life, having done things that I could only dream about wistfully here. Yet the irony is that the same place that gave me all the joy I could ever dream of, is currently giving me the biggest misery that I ever had to deal with.

Eventually, thinks will work out, one way or another. One way or another indeed...

The chief difference here is that this time, I'm really going this alone.