Loneliness...

For some reason, a strong sense of loneliness hit me quite unexpectedly. I'm not sure if it is because I have been watching K-On!, an anime that has the main theme about friendships or if it's just the end of the semester woes. In either case, I just feel like I'm in the doldrums, and have resorted to listening to Tristania and Therion to keep my mood up (strange set, I know).

Anyway, back to K-On!. That's an anime series that my other sister has been recommending me to watch for a very long time, and I finally took the time to actually watch it. I like the story line---it is literally a slice-of-life type comedy, just the genre that I like a lot. The five friends interacting, making music, having fun, and then having to part due to graduation sort of reminded me of a past life that I thought I had at some point. There are only a few groups that I feel quite close with, but somehow their absence now is accentuated after watching the anime. Maybe I'm getting softer/older, and am more sentimental than I would believe.

Or it could be due to my lack of ``runner's high'' because I didn't run yesterday. I don't really know. I'm in a rather strange mood these days though... and am not really sure what to make of it except to gently push it aside to keep on working on what needs to be done. I figure I will deal with these things bit by bit as I try to overcome the end-of-semester workload.

Now I'm starting to wonder if my plans will go awry... maybe this is the existential crisis that everyone goes through when they are in between phases in their lives. Being in grad school has a way of stopping time in one sense and accelerating in another---might be a little hard to understand unless you too are a grad student. The general idea is that the progression of life, as a whole, has stopped, while the large amount of things that remains to be done makes whatever actual time left feel inadequate. This is probably something that one does not feel that much when one is a full-fledged worker in society. Who knows when will I be there once more?

Work, life. Can't have one without the other, but how should we balance them? No one seems to know.