``Contempt'' is the Reason

contempt

the feeling that a person or a thing is worthless or beneath consideration

Today's entry is about some epiphany of this single word: contempt. Many things have happened to me over the past year, and I think I had some trouble with figuring out what it was that had happened that made me feel the level of uselessness that I had been feeling until it dawned upon me that I was sufficiently worthless that I could just walk away.

``Contempt'' is the word that I have found to best describe the bad vibes that I had felt. Contempt---the feeling that I was worthless or beneath consideration. In other words, the sense of not being valued.

Ah, but what is value?

value

the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something

Importance, worth, or usefulness are based on contextual determination. For instance, a bar of solid gold may be valued in most circumstances, but its value relative to a jug of water is contemptuous when in placed in the context of a person of great thirst who is in the middle of a desert.

In other words, the feeling of contempt that I had felt is not universal, but is dependent on the context in which I had existed in. And thus, to not feel the contempt (whether of the self or of someone else) requires a change of the context.

Naq fb V pna abj unir n fvzcyr bar-jbeq engvbany rkcynangvba bs jul Tbq ynvq vg hcba zl urneg gb yrnir zl wbo abj, rira jura V qb abg unir nal bgure wbo yvarq hc. Vg whfg jnfa'g urnygul gb or va na raivebazrag jurer V jnf uryq va pbagrzcg.

Naq fb V pna er-pbagrkghnyvfr [ntnva] jul gur ynfg eryngvbafuvc raqrq gur jnl vg qvq---gur bgure cnegl unq frra zr va pbagrzcg, juvpu rkcynvarq gur fhofrdhrag crefban aba tengn nfcrpg.

Why the sudden epiphany on ``contempt''? I blame it on reading this entry in a thread---and the answers started to click together.

With an acknowledgement of what had transpired comes a path towards future enlightenment on how to proceed. Future-me, this is for you: find a path where you will not be treated in contempt. I will try not to die before you are ready, that is all that I can offer you. Trust in God, for He is your rock and anchor.

After all, what we do, and where we go to do it, are all part of the grand plan of the Creator---things happen according to His will and His will alone.

And that's all I have for today. Till the next update.