It's the First of May. Jonathan Coulton has some choice words for this date (and season). Before you go crazy, I just want to point out the lyrics are NSFW, so don't listen this in public with no earphones.
One really shouldn't be listening to music with no earphones as a general rule of thumb anyway...
There are just some phrases that auto-trigger some memories. ``First of May'' is one of those, ``I'm on a Boat'' is another, ``Long long time ago...'' is yet one more.
Songs that I grew up to? Close... more like songs I aged into adult-hood to. Those were some fun times.
Diversions aside, the past two days of the weekend was on a different level of comfiness. I overdid Hack Day last Wednesday among other things, and I paid the price with some really messed up head space. But despite all that tiredness and weirdness, I came to a startling realisation.
I honestly do not know how to be a husband of any sort, godly or otherwise.
For some reason, when I started to picture myself in a domestic relationship, I suddenly came to a blank. A literal blank. I just... couldn't see it happening.
It wasn't even the case of ``oh I'm out of a relationship and thus cannot picture who my wife would be''. It was literally a ``I just cannot see myself living in a domestic arrangement''.
And I don't know why.
Does it terrify me? A little... not enough to be unduly worried, but enough to realise that eternal singleness might be the true life path of mine.
I mean, I've been readying myself for that for quite a while.
It's okay---people are terrifying. Trust is not something to be given freely---look where I ended up each time I decided to trust someone. Anyone who claims otherwise has been exceedingly lucky, or has managed to block every single bad memory of trust that has failed.
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In other news, I've started on SanctuaryRPG (Black Edition). I have mine on GOG.com for a while, and I must say, it has that ``head empty---no thoughts'' type of fun that I crave after working my head too hard. It is reminiscent of some MUDs that I played before, and is related to an old idea I had about a text-based duelling system. I still haven't finished a run, but this is to be expected.
Anyway, the weather conditions are starting to get ridiculous once more. Night time interior temperatures are at 30 °C, with humidity in the 60% to 70% range. Without air-conditioning, it's just going to be a grind to get enough sleep.
Tomorrow and the day after are both public holidays, one being the extension of today's Labour Day holiday (being on a Sunday and what-not), the other being Hari Raya Puasa. In calendars that were printed much earlier, the two gazetted day-offs were swapped because Hari Raya Puasa was originally slated to be on Monday, which pushed the day off-in-lieu for Labour Day to a Tuesday. This was eventually rectified through the various religious authorities who did their usual computations/observations to reach their associated declarations.
Urgh... I think that's all I can write for now. It's getting muggy.
Till the next update then.
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