Blurb

There is a problem that I keep running into—the feeling that I'm more "elite" than the people around me. And no, I don't mean being the techno-geek kind of 1337, I do mean "in real life" kind of elitism, the kind that separates the "rich" from the "poor".

I'm not some rich dude, nor am I really that great by any degree, but with the increasing amounts of education that I'm receiving, it seems that it has the effect of increasing my awareness of my environment, to the point that I actually start seeing the environment not as being composed of just people, but also as being composed of people and their thoughts. Each time I turn around to look at people, I just feel as though I could sense what they are thinking about, and can almost figure out why they are here and why they do what they do.

And that's where the problem starts. I find it increasingly hard to accept the fact that there are some people who keep making silly mistakes or take silly actions; they keep repeating things that do not really benefit them much. The chronic gambler, the perpetual bankrupt, and the eternal instigator are but a few examples that I can think of that fall into this category of people. I wonder if this is an act of snobbery on my part, as part of the "elitism" gained through all the knowledge that I've gathered, or is it just a natural occurrence of a "normal" human feeling.

I wonder too how some politicians can put up with their constituents, as not all constituents are learned or even well-informed of the situation. How do these people pull this off? How is it that they can bring themselves down from their high-up-there social status down to the level of the average citizen, without looking too snobby nor getting visibly irritated? I think that as time goes by, this will become more and more important as I slowly climb up the social ladder through the life path that I am taking.

——

It has been a rather quiet summer thus far, with little astonishing things occurring. So I've had a class outing, and have met with various people to various degrees, and have pretty much the time to actually engage in a frequent enough swimming schedule. That said, I've also have the time to write several cute programs, and to put together the slides for the Introduction to Traditional Chinese Music class that I'm teaching this coming semester. Given the current lethargy in contributing prose to my scribbling blog and my poetry blog, I'm seriously considering a marathon writing session tomorrow, just to squeeze those creative juices out again.

In a way, I'm glad that I didn't have any time nor real ideas for writing—it just shows that I have other [more important?] things to do. These days are spent pretty much in near isolation, considering the fact that I don't actually go out that often now that I don't really need to work. All these isolation instances that I'm applying to myself seems to have their intended effect on me—to be less distracted of things that don't really matter, and to be able to refocus my energies on those that actually do.

All this time I had been thinking. The main thoughts that dominate my mind are that of the future. Strangely enough, I cannot believe that I'm actually thinking much more deeply about the future and what it entails. That could be because of what I've managed to find recently—my humanity.

Humanity—the ability to love and be loved, to care and be cared for, to empathise and sympathise. I learnt bits and pieces of it ever since I left Singapore to pursue my overseas studies. The last two years were full of varying levels of experiences, from the truly happy to those that still have a lingering pain within me. These emotions and their related controls truly came about only when I was isolated from the place that I know well, simply because, in all honesty, it wasn't really conducive for me to do some inner searching. Folks from my old environment just cannot look past my exterior and see what is within me, which explains why I keep faltering in the old environment.

But here, and now, I think I'm starting to figure out what is it I want. Till next time.