Drift But Who Cares?

I was looking through a bunch of my friends' blogs (yes, sad as I may seem, I actually do have some friends) and realised through the blogs that I have already drifted away from them. Those with a significant other seem to forget about their old friends somewhat, those who are still young are still stuck in the treadmill system which doesn't mean any more than a certain drudgery, and those who happened to join with me for the ride for a moment have suddenly moved on to other matters. It's hard to explain this, but sometimes I feel as though that there's something that I must be doing wrong in my life, to be able to be in such an odd situation. I find myself in a quandary of sorts; a computer geek, a music geek, a writing geek all mished-mashed into one which makes too many people confused. Even though many have said that being multi-facetted is a good thing, I don't seem to be able to see any significant advantage here. It seems to the contrary that if one has too many facets, it makes people confused and unsure of how to deal with one; they feel intimidated by the fact that you have so many abilities, much like how people feel somwhat threatened (but in awe of course) in the presence of a great actress/singer.

Like attracts like, despite what I might have written in the past during one of those Project Work papers. While it may seem that I've been on the active hunt for someone who is for me for quite a while, it is not as true as it really is. I have more or less come to the conclusion that it is much better to concentrate on training myself up to become a competent researcher, and maybe make a few more friends along the way just to keep my sanity. With regards to whether I can eventually find someone to love and be my wife... that is something that I will not be wondering about and I am going to just leave it to Fate. Why worry about the things that I have no power over and leave those that I can change alone to the point that I end up screwing myself over? It doesn't even make any sense for me to do that.

I had a conversation recently with Caleb, and he gave a third option: be an otaku and lead an otaku lifestyle. Apparently, it seems that I can meet the requirements easily: be obsessive enough to want to dig deep into something (I can do that easily for anime/manga/computers), have enough of a disposable income to pull it off (probably do-able, considering that the stereotypical otaku has no real social life to start with), and be interested in girls as nothing more than an extension of the whole fantasy that the culture has (again, this is not beyond the realm of possibility). But I think that I won't want to ever step into that subculture; I am much happier being the person who tries to be a little more learned about the arts/music, and pursue a more thinking based lifestyle than one that is predominantly characterised by active brainwashing from having too much media inundation. Besides, even if I do have a disposable income with time enough to spare, I find it more fulfilling to actually get out there and do something for the neighbourhood folks, just like what I had been doing since young in my community club. No sense trying to use up all these time to try to be an otaku; I only watch an anime or read manga only if the storyline is interesting enough, and not because I feel a pressing need to justify my status with some people.

Caleb brought out several interesting points too, during our conversation; I'm gonna mull over it and maybe talk about it some other time. Meanwhile, check out the interesting articles at Geeks Are Sexy, because honestly, geeks are sexy (they are just a little shy sometimes).