Another quiet day has passed, and I have accomplished little over the course of the day, at least in terms of tangible successes and benefits. Internally, lots of things are starting to filter themselves out again, from the barriers that I have built up over the last few months. I started this paragraph about two days ago, but realised that I didn't have the heart to actually finish what I wanted to say, so I just copied the few starting lines I had from before and attempt to write on again, probably with a much different focus from what I intended earlier.
As the night draws on, I find that I'm starting to enter the state where my mental faculties are at their sharpest, yet paradoxically where I am at my most tired and sleepy. This strange juxtaposition of wakefulness and sleepiness slowly drives me towards an almost trance-like state of mind, where I can slowly start to look beyond what I usually am, and what I usually do, to something that I usually am not—being conscious of myself.
Letting my fingers do the typing of the words that spring forth directly through my mind, I find that I type even more smoothly than if I had tried to direct my thoughts onto some topic. Touch-typing is of the utmost usefulness, considering the fact that the typing speed can at least match the capabilities of thought.
I think that I'm really losing the battle between wakefulness and sleepiness, and it is now time to just lie down on my mattress and sleep.
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