Semi-Hypnotic Writings

And I with all my insanity decided to write down some random thoughts just before I sleep, by capitalising on the semi-hypnotic state that I am in right this instant.

So, as the campus starts seeing the general exodus of people and thus quietening down, I find myself once more sitting quietly and alone in the calm of the storm. This semester has been quite a drag in many ways, despite it being one of the more fun semesters that I ever had; perhaps it is a good thing that I can finally sit back and catch some breath. The irony of it all is that when I actually have the time to relax, I find myself to be unable to do so, and really, to keep finding myself gravitating back to doing ``real'' work like studying/reading/writing. I'm uncertain why I cannot loaf about when the opportunity presents itself.

Perhaps it is the stresses of the day. Even though it is technically winter break right now, I find that I need to do a lot of planning with regards to the logistics of the even moving of everything back home. Also for some reason, I find myself thinking about the future, and lapsing into dreams/daydreams about how my future life can be like, in terms of what I am doing, who I am doing it with, and how I lead my life in general. It is mildly disconcerting---I know I plan a lot, but this sort of stuff seems to fall into the domain of over-planning/over worrying. So much for a peaceful start.

But then again, it's probably a good sign that my subconscious is working on that problem as my conscious one strives to ensure that I do not stab myself in the face while working with the daily vagaries of life. I'm really satisfied with the way that I have developed over the years---the levels of intuition and awareness that I seem to possess never astounds me as I learn of my latent capabilities every day. It is really hard to believe that nearly 7 years ago, I was basically a pompous jackass who's sole goal was to try and outsmart everyone everytime. Nowadays, I just want to be good enough, get the job done, and then look for something more interesting to work on. Maybe it is age catching up; I have no idea.

The future. It is an interesting thing, this... future. There're so many possibilities, yet each are bound by one's abilities and the opportunities that one happens to be exposed to---miss any of these two main ingredients, then the future will not be as ``bright'' as it can be. So far I've been pretty lucky in both senses of ingredients; I'm not complaining, but I think that the effort that I put in to better ready myself for the future pays off, the only issue with it is that it takes a damn long time before all that preparation will actually start paying for itself.

Alright, I think that I'm losing control over the semi-hypnotic state and am about to slip into sleep. Till next time then...