Mumbles

Hmm.

It's a slow-ish day today. I built the automated bamboo farm at my mob farm in Minecraft, bolstered the defenses at the nether-portal in the jungle biome in the overworld, reconstructed my ``Adventurer's Shovel'' to not have fortune enchantment (the original one was generating 100% flint instead of retrieving the gravel---it was bad because gravel was more useful for concrete making, while I had a surplus of arrows, thus needing less flint than expected), and harvested quite a bit of jungle logs from the jungle biome itself.

I also thought a little bit about how to reduce the number of screen pages that I would like to use in LED2-20---I think I might have a viable solution, but it will require testing.

Apart from those, I was just doing some reading here and there: the analysis of Luke in the ESV Study Bible, and a bit more of Thaïs while waiting for my head shave.

Anyway, I was just thinking, I know that I wouldn't want children for a variety of reasons, but I could never figure out if I would like to be on the look out for a spouse. Over the past few weeks though, I had been thinking about it on and off, realising that as time went on, there were fewer and fewer reasons on why I should have a spouse. I am not fearful of responsibility, but I am realising that given my mental state about the world, probably the last thing that I want to do is to increase the number of ties I have with the world through the union between me and some female. It wouldn't be fair to me, nor her.

But things like these, i.e. involving interactions with other people, are largely outside of my control. They are, however, well within the control of God. So if God wills it, I will end up with a spouse, and if otherwise, so be it. I just need to keep my faith and trust in His plan, and do what I can with whatever I've got, gifts by grace, or otherwise.

It's freeing in many ways. Reduction of the need to worry too hard about how to accomplish things on my own, even in the face of situations that are completely out of my control. This is especially true in the face of this pandemic where the normal order of things are generally on the brink of being upset, where much of the past knowledge that we have is even less capable for predicting what is happening next. The sins of the past are fast catching up to us, particularly so for the morally questionable decisions that were made in the bid for quick, short term gains.

The true question is, will we learn from these mistakes and choose resilience through forging a new social/cultural contract, or will we end up doubling down and digging ourselves deeper into morass to allow those who have benefited from before to continue benefiting while we all suffer the consequences.

Today, more than ever, we are at the cusp of a watershed moment in SIN city. I pray that God will grant us all the wisdom to proceed in the direction that He wills, and may He be merciful and allow us to continue existing despite all the challenges like how we have existed before.

That's all for today. Maybe tomorrow's gonna be a different day.