I'm starting to feel very tired about this whole thing. I just want to... take a sleep, not worrying whether I will awake or not. It is just so mentally draining to handle all the vagaries of life; I've put in energy into all the things that I've done, a little bit of my soul, a little bit of myself into everything that I had pursued thus far. Each successive failure that strikes me is like a hard blow to my ego, a hard blow to my id, a hard blow to my essence. Already, the struggles of the first quarter of my life have already worn me thin, and yet now, I am still struggling to figure things out. I brood, I wonder, I think, I sunder. Things like that keep occurring to such a high frequency that it is not even remotely funny anymore.
And the sad thing is, I realised that I do not seem to know how to talk about my problems in real life to real people. I have to resort to such devices like the blog, the instant messengers and even the email in order to communicate with people. In the quest of being more human, I am suddenly faced with the possibility that instead of reaching my goal, I am moving ever further away from it.
I'm just so tired now. Again I ask myself, when will I be able to find someone who will love me for the way I am?
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