While snooping around the Internet reading articles, I found this rather interesting article: Diceware. This is a useful technique in generating hard-to-guess passwords/passphrases for use in cryptographic applications or more mundane stuff like securing one's email.
I generally advocate the use of random letters/numbers combination, with symbols thrown in if one's memory is great. With the full set of the English alphabet, as well as the numbers, and having approximately 8 characters in the password, we are looking at 628≈2×1014 different passwords, assuming of course that each character is chosen from a uniform distribution of the 62 characters. I generally find that memorising 8 random alpha-numeric characters as one chunk is not too hard. By that regard, attempting to memorise 16 random alpha-numeric characters as one chunk will take a little bit of effort, which will provide nearly 4×1028 different passwords. Again, by the uniform distribution argument, we are looking at a probability of 4.5×10-15 and 2.1×10-29 of successfully guessing the password. As a comparison, the probability of winning the lottery is about 1 in 14 million (about 7.1×10-8). Go figure.
Despite all these rather impressive figures, most folks still use simple easy-to-guess passwords. Among the top of the list are simple passwords that can be found in the dictionary; among the worst of choices. Oh the pain, the pain! That's another reason why I'm refusing to step into cryptography despite it being my love—the best cryptosystem in the world will always be thwarted due to the idiocy of how the humans in the protocol act/react. The mathematics may be sound, but the weakest link is the human; he/she refuses to follow the protocol to the T, takes shortcuts and makes lots of mistakes in the protocol, resulting in the overall system failure.
Social engineering, anyone? Most of the world's espionage activities do not really involve glorified system cracking by highly elite computer hackers; all it takes is just good old dumpster-diving and piecing the trash back together to re-create the documents that we thought were destroyed.
Am I paranoid? Perhaps, but then again, if in this time and age one isn't paranoid about one's privacy (let alone security), then surely one must be one of the said ignoramuses. I mean, come on, already governments are using automated video surveillance to ensure that anyone who attempts to behave differently will be detected and "neutralised" before they do harm. Sure, if the governing laws are sound, and if the people who are tasked to implement the laws are also sound, and if everyone involved are impartial and work only towards what they are supposed to do to secure our safety, then things will work out well.
Remember my earlier comment about humans being the weakest link? Well, this time around, this can be seen by the various abuses of powers by some of the black sheep of law enforcement. So, who should we trust with our privacy and security?
Terrorism is not about bombing buildings or constructing explosives; it is about creating a society of terror, where folks are scared to do what they normally do. It is a war of ideas, a protracted war of attrition between ideologies and willpower, to see who in the end will prevail. Rational voice gets drowned out by the cacophony of the terrorists who are using our systems against us in the propogation of terror. In the past, we fear folks who are adamant of bombing us, but now, we fear the very folks whom we entrust with the mandate to protect us. By that regard, the terrorists have the slight advantage over us now; we are self-propogating our own fear and terror of the terrorists.
Should we allow them the luxury of gaining something out of nothing then? No. We should never let them sucker us into their scheme. Vigilance and public-spiritedness does not equate to yet more control by a central authority; it is really the cooperative effort of the masses and trained personnel to work together to flush out these sociopaths who choose to present their dissenting ideas using covert rather than overt means. We should strengthen our social institutions to allow the different voices to be heard in public and without prejudice, to be subjected to the critical eye of rationality to decide as a whole by ourselves, what exactly it is we want.
The government serves the people; they are not our lords, and neither are they superior to us. We put the government to power with the trust that they will act in our interests, and not for them to form yet another corporation which takes away the liberties and freedoms that the citizens intrinsically have in the various democratic constitutions. Sadly, this is starting to not be the case anymore; democracy as we know it has evolved to the point where money and not the public good has dominated the landscape. While there might never have been a moral politician, it is even harder to find a politician now whose interest is in the people and not of the money.
We live in trying times, and I fear for the future.
——
On a wholly unrelated note, life's getting rather good now. Spring break is just about half-done, and soon I'd be lamenting about the fast passage of time and the need to hit the grindstone once more. But that aside, things should be a little more uplifting, I guess.
Until next time.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
"Angry" Rant?
So I was kinda mulling around, reading various blogs when I realised that perhaps in some ways, people have already started to forget about me. I mean, I don't feel happy/sad or anything, but it is just one of those realisations that hit one after a rather long period of festering in one's mind.
Why do I say that people have already started to forget about me? Well, let's face it. In my past period of this life, I was generally a prick (still am, just that here, everyone else seems kinda more weird than I am, so I'm in good company), and already that is something that people don't particularly like, to start with. Next, being the person I am, sometimes I just get on folks' nerves, without realising it.
Also, I have this rather bad habit of setting the bar a little too high wherever I go, which makes everyone ever so annoyed.
Base line really, is that most folks probably don't like me much, and since I am kinda out of sight at the moment, it would seem like a great idea that I would also be out of mind. *shrugs* But then again, life goes on, and we find new people to hang out with—that is the cycle of life, and there's little that we can do about that, or can we?
I'm not some glamorous popularity whore; I just be myself for the most part, and if folks think that it'd be great to hang out with me, then I'm okay with it; similarly, if they thought that it would be terrible to hang out with me for one reason or another, I'm still okay with it too.
Gone are the days where I place friendship to such a high level where I end up getting hurt by it all. Gone are the days where I valued each and every person to the point that when they hurt me, they do a good job. I'm a different person now; I fear not the concept of loneliness because I am not lonely. I do not fear what people try to do to me in order to hurt me, because I am now harder to hurt than before.
So, go ahead and forget me then. There's nothing wrong with that, just a part of the cycle of life. You might forget me, but that doesn't mean that I will forget you. So, maybe one day you decide to come back into my life and be a friend once more, I won't welcome you with the eagerness that I had a long time ago, but you will not be turned away, for you were once a friend, and will always be, unless of course you did something truly and utterly despicable to me or to the ones I love and care for, then in that case may my fist be the one that smites you to the ground for the injustices that they had suffered.
Why do I say that people have already started to forget about me? Well, let's face it. In my past period of this life, I was generally a prick (still am, just that here, everyone else seems kinda more weird than I am, so I'm in good company), and already that is something that people don't particularly like, to start with. Next, being the person I am, sometimes I just get on folks' nerves, without realising it.
Also, I have this rather bad habit of setting the bar a little too high wherever I go, which makes everyone ever so annoyed.
Base line really, is that most folks probably don't like me much, and since I am kinda out of sight at the moment, it would seem like a great idea that I would also be out of mind. *shrugs* But then again, life goes on, and we find new people to hang out with—that is the cycle of life, and there's little that we can do about that, or can we?
I'm not some glamorous popularity whore; I just be myself for the most part, and if folks think that it'd be great to hang out with me, then I'm okay with it; similarly, if they thought that it would be terrible to hang out with me for one reason or another, I'm still okay with it too.
Gone are the days where I place friendship to such a high level where I end up getting hurt by it all. Gone are the days where I valued each and every person to the point that when they hurt me, they do a good job. I'm a different person now; I fear not the concept of loneliness because I am not lonely. I do not fear what people try to do to me in order to hurt me, because I am now harder to hurt than before.
So, go ahead and forget me then. There's nothing wrong with that, just a part of the cycle of life. You might forget me, but that doesn't mean that I will forget you. So, maybe one day you decide to come back into my life and be a friend once more, I won't welcome you with the eagerness that I had a long time ago, but you will not be turned away, for you were once a friend, and will always be, unless of course you did something truly and utterly despicable to me or to the ones I love and care for, then in that case may my fist be the one that smites you to the ground for the injustices that they had suffered.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Xubuntu
So technically, yesterday was the official start of spring break, though honestly, I was still working at school projects yesterday, and am most likely to be working on that on and off for the next few days. That's not as bad as it sounds though, because this break, I'm not going to be doing things alone, so it is not an issue, I guess. She's around, and that makes me happy.
On to more interesting matters. So, I finally managed to get my Xubuntu up and running and customised it accordingly. The set-up time didn't take too long, and it was a rather pleasant experience to watch Xubuntu detect (and make use of) my wireless connection to connect to the Internet. This sure beats the coaxing that I need to take to get my Slackware to cooperate with my wireless (they didn't cooperate at all, in the end).
So yeah. It's not that I'm not being l337 here; it's just that there comes a point in time where the tinkering has to stop and the thing has to work. I love messing around with slackware — nothing beats that fulfillment that one has when one gets something up and running — but at this stage, I realise that I don't really have the time to really tinker that much anymore. I just want a system that works, that can fulfill what I need to do. It is really important these days, considering the fact that down time from a system is really a big no-no in times like this, particularly when we are moving forwards at a higher and higher rate.
I have this little theory about things, that as we get older and older, the opportunity costs associated with the actions that we might want to take will generally increase, due to the increased capacity in which we can do things. So, if I were to try to pick up a new language now, for instance, I need to sacrifice much more than if I were to take up a new language when I was a little child, for instance. And we know that this is true, to a large degree; as we get older, our abilities start to get more and more versatile, and our earning power increases accordingly too, which means that if we want to do other stuff, the cost that we need to sacrifice in order to obtain the other task will increase accordingly too.
Which brings me back to my original point. I like messing with Slackware, but as time goes on, I can no longer keep up with the tinkering to ensure that my system will work correctly/perfectly. That's why a system like Xubuntu or even Microsoft Windows can help a lot; there's lots of tinkering that can be done, yet it is also possible to just fix things through the use of the automated tools, without having to manually inspect what is needed to fix the installations to make them run, let alone running better.
With that mentality then, is what I have when I made that switch from Slackware to Xubuntu.
On to more interesting matters. So, I finally managed to get my Xubuntu up and running and customised it accordingly. The set-up time didn't take too long, and it was a rather pleasant experience to watch Xubuntu detect (and make use of) my wireless connection to connect to the Internet. This sure beats the coaxing that I need to take to get my Slackware to cooperate with my wireless (they didn't cooperate at all, in the end).
So yeah. It's not that I'm not being l337 here; it's just that there comes a point in time where the tinkering has to stop and the thing has to work. I love messing around with slackware — nothing beats that fulfillment that one has when one gets something up and running — but at this stage, I realise that I don't really have the time to really tinker that much anymore. I just want a system that works, that can fulfill what I need to do. It is really important these days, considering the fact that down time from a system is really a big no-no in times like this, particularly when we are moving forwards at a higher and higher rate.
I have this little theory about things, that as we get older and older, the opportunity costs associated with the actions that we might want to take will generally increase, due to the increased capacity in which we can do things. So, if I were to try to pick up a new language now, for instance, I need to sacrifice much more than if I were to take up a new language when I was a little child, for instance. And we know that this is true, to a large degree; as we get older, our abilities start to get more and more versatile, and our earning power increases accordingly too, which means that if we want to do other stuff, the cost that we need to sacrifice in order to obtain the other task will increase accordingly too.
Which brings me back to my original point. I like messing with Slackware, but as time goes on, I can no longer keep up with the tinkering to ensure that my system will work correctly/perfectly. That's why a system like Xubuntu or even Microsoft Windows can help a lot; there's lots of tinkering that can be done, yet it is also possible to just fix things through the use of the automated tools, without having to manually inspect what is needed to fix the installations to make them run, let alone running better.
With that mentality then, is what I have when I made that switch from Slackware to Xubuntu.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
V's Speech
This never ceases to amaze me:
This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Lotsaschtuff
So, I ordered a Pickett 10" slide rule a while back from Sphere Research about a week back. And it has finally arrived!
Isn't she a beauty? Now compare this with the old one that I had:
Not that I'm going to diss the older one (hey, it was a hand-me-down from my father which now has a nice new case compared to the old, battered, plastic one that I left back at home), but this Pickett is just so much more... substantial to hold than the other.
Aluminium adjustable slide rules with a nice mix of scales, from the folded scales for easy π-based computations, yellow "eye-saver" colour scheme... mmm mmm, good. I just love slide rules for some reason; there's this strange eternal air about them. It's like holding the cradle of modern engineering and computer science in one's hands; something that ranks itself as among the most marvellous of precision engineering, the one that helped give rise to all the other innovations that we now have. To be able to compute, yet without the current "traditional" conceptions of what the action of computing entails.
The next on my shopping list is a 5" pocket sized Pickett for ease of carrying around. That will likely to fall into the April budget for me. Meanwhile, I'm contented with hooking the Pickett to my belt via a carabiner.
And yes, I'm such a geek. Too bad, heheheh...
——
In other news, I put together this Picasso piece of a mind-map in the attempt to prepare for my Intoduction to Ethics course (History of ethics section):
No, obviously this wasn't done using a computer (can you imagine how freakishly long it will take to do that?); it was done using the traditional method of colour pencils and pen on a letter-sized paper.
And yes, I still think that mind-maps are rather useful as memory aids more than anything else. Alright, that's all that I care to update for now. In the next few days, more things are expected to come up, and I'll probably post a few more pictures of life in general and some things in particular just for folks to get a flavour of what is going on.
Until next time.
Isn't she a beauty? Now compare this with the old one that I had:
Not that I'm going to diss the older one (hey, it was a hand-me-down from my father which now has a nice new case compared to the old, battered, plastic one that I left back at home), but this Pickett is just so much more... substantial to hold than the other.Aluminium adjustable slide rules with a nice mix of scales, from the folded scales for easy π-based computations, yellow "eye-saver" colour scheme... mmm mmm, good. I just love slide rules for some reason; there's this strange eternal air about them. It's like holding the cradle of modern engineering and computer science in one's hands; something that ranks itself as among the most marvellous of precision engineering, the one that helped give rise to all the other innovations that we now have. To be able to compute, yet without the current "traditional" conceptions of what the action of computing entails.
The next on my shopping list is a 5" pocket sized Pickett for ease of carrying around. That will likely to fall into the April budget for me. Meanwhile, I'm contented with hooking the Pickett to my belt via a carabiner.
And yes, I'm such a geek. Too bad, heheheh...
——
In other news, I put together this Picasso piece of a mind-map in the attempt to prepare for my Intoduction to Ethics course (History of ethics section):
No, obviously this wasn't done using a computer (can you imagine how freakishly long it will take to do that?); it was done using the traditional method of colour pencils and pen on a letter-sized paper.And yes, I still think that mind-maps are rather useful as memory aids more than anything else. Alright, that's all that I care to update for now. In the next few days, more things are expected to come up, and I'll probably post a few more pictures of life in general and some things in particular just for folks to get a flavour of what is going on.
Until next time.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Reflective Mood
Another day's passing, another day that I've aged and another day that has been lost if it were not live thoroughly. Yes, it is rather strange to be thinking like this, particularly early in the morning when one has just woken up. But I cannot seem to help it—it always fascinates me how people can have the willpower to live and believe in themselves.
Not that I'm in an existential crisis at the moment, but some mild reflection about the past seems to suggest that one of the reasons why I was rarely happy was largely due to the fact that I kept letting myself be pressurised by the people around me. I know inside me that I don't really like to conform to conventions for as much as I can get away with, but my actions for the most part seem rather contradictory.
If there is a positive change in my attitude when I'm studying overseas, it would be that I'm slowly learning to think for myself once more, making my own decisions, and live having to decide on what I had decided on. Let's just say that this is the free-spirit in me talking, and that the other me has little to say about things.
I think that I'm rambling again. Alright, on to some "real" news. This week was the start of the death march week; the one week just before the start of spring break. There's so much homework due, so much midterms to be had, and so much other things that I need to deal with to get on with life.
Well, I'm not afraid, neither am I alone. She's there, and helps to keep my sanity. The more that I spend time with her, the more that I find myself liking her more. I can't put my finger to exactly what makes her so fascinating and sweet, but a good guess will be that of having a real personality.
I mean, let's face it. Many of the girls that I've known are too stereotypically female, you know, all "weak and wide-eyed", but most importantly, overly dependent on other folks. While I like my companion to be somewhat dependent on me, I don't really want one who is so dependent to the point where it starts becoming ridiculous. But she's different. She's rather independent, has a rather sociable and joviable demeanour, and is all for hugs. Yes, you heard that right, she absolutely adores hugs. And I do too, but most folks just don't like hugs. So, in a way, one might say that we're well-matched.
Alright, enough of all these nonsensical rambling. By now, you'd have realised that the frequency with which I am updating my blog(s) is getting a tad on the low side. It's not that I'm about to abandon my writing in favour of real life, but it is really about having to have something to write before starting to write. Most of the updates that you'll fine are likely to be in The_Laptop Scribbles... as I do those 10-minute speed writing sessions through exercises generated by WriteThis. Rants should be far and few; tumultous times are marked by increased activity in trying to vent away one's dissatisfaction with the current lot in life.
That said, I'll strive for a weekly rant just to keep things interesting here, as we've discovered that people usually prefer gossip over fiction. >.>
Not that I'm in an existential crisis at the moment, but some mild reflection about the past seems to suggest that one of the reasons why I was rarely happy was largely due to the fact that I kept letting myself be pressurised by the people around me. I know inside me that I don't really like to conform to conventions for as much as I can get away with, but my actions for the most part seem rather contradictory.
If there is a positive change in my attitude when I'm studying overseas, it would be that I'm slowly learning to think for myself once more, making my own decisions, and live having to decide on what I had decided on. Let's just say that this is the free-spirit in me talking, and that the other me has little to say about things.
I think that I'm rambling again. Alright, on to some "real" news. This week was the start of the death march week; the one week just before the start of spring break. There's so much homework due, so much midterms to be had, and so much other things that I need to deal with to get on with life.
Well, I'm not afraid, neither am I alone. She's there, and helps to keep my sanity. The more that I spend time with her, the more that I find myself liking her more. I can't put my finger to exactly what makes her so fascinating and sweet, but a good guess will be that of having a real personality.
I mean, let's face it. Many of the girls that I've known are too stereotypically female, you know, all "weak and wide-eyed", but most importantly, overly dependent on other folks. While I like my companion to be somewhat dependent on me, I don't really want one who is so dependent to the point where it starts becoming ridiculous. But she's different. She's rather independent, has a rather sociable and joviable demeanour, and is all for hugs. Yes, you heard that right, she absolutely adores hugs. And I do too, but most folks just don't like hugs. So, in a way, one might say that we're well-matched.
Alright, enough of all these nonsensical rambling. By now, you'd have realised that the frequency with which I am updating my blog(s) is getting a tad on the low side. It's not that I'm about to abandon my writing in favour of real life, but it is really about having to have something to write before starting to write. Most of the updates that you'll fine are likely to be in The_Laptop Scribbles... as I do those 10-minute speed writing sessions through exercises generated by WriteThis. Rants should be far and few; tumultous times are marked by increased activity in trying to vent away one's dissatisfaction with the current lot in life.
That said, I'll strive for a weekly rant just to keep things interesting here, as we've discovered that people usually prefer gossip over fiction. >.>
Thursday, February 28, 2008
[Yet Another] Muse
Alright, so I had a dead hard drive. That's the bad news. The good news is, I now have another hard drive that is set up and is ready to go again. Thankfully, most of the data that is lost is non-critical stuff that can be rebuilt. Of those that cannot, they are just small little memories of my past here and there—probably not of much consequence, I guess.
It is rather interesting. On the one hand, I am one who is rather traditional by nature, yet on the other hand, I am also one who is radical and embracing of new ideas (as long as they make sense). A mild contradiction of roles perhaps, but I think that I'm rather comfortable with that. Rooted in tradition, yet open to new ideas; that is probably the best motto that I can get away with given the current circumstance.
So this week and the next are really the biggest crunch-downs for this half of the semester, with all classes having mid-terms within this time frame (I kid you not). I'm likely to be spending most of the weekend studying and building memory aids to help in the recall process of the key issues that are present in each of the courses. I'm not too afraid though, just more grinding to be done.
So, yeah. Life. So many challenges, so many changes, yet I'm still enjoying myself all the way. I must admit that acknowledging that I'm not extremely smart has probably helped me calibrate what I am supposed to expect out of myself as well as how I should be approaching things in general. A calm disposition is one that I most definitely should upkeep, for hot-headedness will not allow me to go far, not under most circumstance.
I can't wait for spring break to arrive. A moment of consolidation, and a great way to start packing/sending things back home to reduce the amount of packing that I need to do prior to the start of the summer break; also, it is a great time to take stock of life in general and to probably shift my Slackware installation to a Xubuntu one. Why the swap, one might ask. Well, while I like the simple interface of Slackware a lot, I realise that upkeeping Slackware just takes too much energy to keep up with. Xubuntu has the minimalist structure that I like, and at the same time, it also has a rather easy way of keeping up with security updates. The only thing that can likely shift me away from Xubuntu will be that of Gentoo Linux, but of course, the high maintenance required means that I need to re-temper my expectations of how things are set up.
As I said, it is just a musing. At the end of the day, I might just leave my Slackware alone and carry on with life thus, but who knows, really?
It is rather interesting. On the one hand, I am one who is rather traditional by nature, yet on the other hand, I am also one who is radical and embracing of new ideas (as long as they make sense). A mild contradiction of roles perhaps, but I think that I'm rather comfortable with that. Rooted in tradition, yet open to new ideas; that is probably the best motto that I can get away with given the current circumstance.
So this week and the next are really the biggest crunch-downs for this half of the semester, with all classes having mid-terms within this time frame (I kid you not). I'm likely to be spending most of the weekend studying and building memory aids to help in the recall process of the key issues that are present in each of the courses. I'm not too afraid though, just more grinding to be done.
So, yeah. Life. So many challenges, so many changes, yet I'm still enjoying myself all the way. I must admit that acknowledging that I'm not extremely smart has probably helped me calibrate what I am supposed to expect out of myself as well as how I should be approaching things in general. A calm disposition is one that I most definitely should upkeep, for hot-headedness will not allow me to go far, not under most circumstance.
I can't wait for spring break to arrive. A moment of consolidation, and a great way to start packing/sending things back home to reduce the amount of packing that I need to do prior to the start of the summer break; also, it is a great time to take stock of life in general and to probably shift my Slackware installation to a Xubuntu one. Why the swap, one might ask. Well, while I like the simple interface of Slackware a lot, I realise that upkeeping Slackware just takes too much energy to keep up with. Xubuntu has the minimalist structure that I like, and at the same time, it also has a rather easy way of keeping up with security updates. The only thing that can likely shift me away from Xubuntu will be that of Gentoo Linux, but of course, the high maintenance required means that I need to re-temper my expectations of how things are set up.
As I said, it is just a musing. At the end of the day, I might just leave my Slackware alone and carry on with life thus, but who knows, really?
Monday, February 25, 2008
R.I.P.
*sigh* Today marks the passing on of one of my external hard drives. There goes a huge chunk of my not-so-essential data, including memories like digital photographs. But then again, the last time I ever viewed them was a long time ago—memories are best stored in one's mind's eye, I guess.
Rest in peace old friend; the good times we had together will be sorely missed.
[Ed: No, I didn't kill my drive by removing it from the enclosure—it died first, then I removed it from the enclosure. So now, I'm going to try to get a new drive to fit in the enclosure (and hope that the electronics still work), and try running it. Otherwise, I'll just get another enclosure to get the job done. Either way, I think that I should be able to rebuild the datastream that I lost. Unfortunately, all those pretty pictures that I have taken and stored into this hard drive are now... gone. Sorry Nicole, not sure if you still have the ultra-high-resolution of the only sexy picture that you and I ever took, because I don't think that I have that one anymore.]
Rest in peace old friend; the good times we had together will be sorely missed.
[Ed: No, I didn't kill my drive by removing it from the enclosure—it died first, then I removed it from the enclosure. So now, I'm going to try to get a new drive to fit in the enclosure (and hope that the electronics still work), and try running it. Otherwise, I'll just get another enclosure to get the job done. Either way, I think that I should be able to rebuild the datastream that I lost. Unfortunately, all those pretty pictures that I have taken and stored into this hard drive are now... gone. Sorry Nicole, not sure if you still have the ultra-high-resolution of the only sexy picture that you and I ever took, because I don't think that I have that one anymore.]
Friday, February 22, 2008
Weird Day Redux
It is such a weird day. I don't know how best to put it, but suffice to say, it just feels weird. There seems to be so much to do, yet at the same time, I am still feeling strangely relaxed. I wonder what's going on.
"You look kinda different." That was a strange comment; I wonder what that means. Was it in reference to my hair and mild change in face shape (due to me getting mildly fatter), or was it something that he saw in my eyes? It is such an unnerving thought.
That aside, I think that I should be writing an interpreter for Forth. I'm always fascinated by little tools like these; the more spartan the tool, the more interested I am with it. Remember good old ed? I wrote something about it some time ago. So one of my "past-time" programming projects will be to implement a cute Forth interpreter, and maybe write ed from scratch, just for the fun of it.
And no, I've not forsaken my love of research, contrary to popular belief; apart from research, I also believe that I need to expand my repertoire of skills to better allow me to adapt to the rapidly changing landscape of the world. I mean, let's face it. Computer technology research doesn't get far back at home—everyone wants a shiny new machine and/or new drugs with better efficacy, who actually understands that behind all these innovations lies a system of computers whose algorithms were designed and implemented by the computer scientist? Even the papers that most of these technical folks write, they use LaTeX, and sure, some might complain about LaTeX being too arcane and all, but the fact is that it does produce the best digital typesetting one can get for the amount one pays (which is 0), compared to commercial word processors. And who do you think came up with that?
Underappreciation... that's always an issue that I'm grappling with, especially in the professional setting back at home. Hopefully when I do return, I am actually able to help fix the landscape and make a real impact in things in time to come.
"You look kinda different." That was a strange comment; I wonder what that means. Was it in reference to my hair and mild change in face shape (due to me getting mildly fatter), or was it something that he saw in my eyes? It is such an unnerving thought.
That aside, I think that I should be writing an interpreter for Forth. I'm always fascinated by little tools like these; the more spartan the tool, the more interested I am with it. Remember good old ed? I wrote something about it some time ago. So one of my "past-time" programming projects will be to implement a cute Forth interpreter, and maybe write ed from scratch, just for the fun of it.
And no, I've not forsaken my love of research, contrary to popular belief; apart from research, I also believe that I need to expand my repertoire of skills to better allow me to adapt to the rapidly changing landscape of the world. I mean, let's face it. Computer technology research doesn't get far back at home—everyone wants a shiny new machine and/or new drugs with better efficacy, who actually understands that behind all these innovations lies a system of computers whose algorithms were designed and implemented by the computer scientist? Even the papers that most of these technical folks write, they use LaTeX, and sure, some might complain about LaTeX being too arcane and all, but the fact is that it does produce the best digital typesetting one can get for the amount one pays (which is 0), compared to commercial word processors. And who do you think came up with that?
Underappreciation... that's always an issue that I'm grappling with, especially in the professional setting back at home. Hopefully when I do return, I am actually able to help fix the landscape and make a real impact in things in time to come.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Unfair EULAs... What were you expecting?
Each time I read an article which highlights a rather gray/bad aspect of the software industry, I cannot help but heave a huge sigh.
Check this out: Report of the National Consumer Council on EULAs. A shorter version of this can be found at their website.
It always pains me each time I see all these rather nasty sides of the software companies appearing. And to think that I am going into something that will eventually end up contributing to this whole shebang of a mess.
Already people are not having enough time to do stuff. Then, the subterfuge that millions of folks around the world face each day each time they use their device. Unfair DRMs, trusted computing platforms, and incomprehensible EULAs—it is obvious that most companies who dabble in technology are fighting rather dirtily to ensure that we are all bound to them indefinitely. So, in the future, it is likely that the governments of sovereign states have no true power; all of the political power and clout lie in that of the big corporations.
And it is not a dream; it is already happening as we speak now. Already we rely heavily on products from Google, and Microsoft, among other companies—it is known that countries are trying ways and means to seduce these large multi-national companies to set up regional headquarters in their countries, simply because of the influx of capital and investments.
All seems good. But this brings us back to my original qualm: there is no law anymore. Does anyone really think that all those anti-trust convictions of Microsoft in Europe are actually going to have the effect that they were supposed to have? Does anyone really believe that all these corporations are benevolent entities who are trying to make the world a better place by contributing to infrastructure in the places where they set up their various offices?
No! They are corporations, and by definition, profits are what they care of the most. And given their current [extended] reach, some of them have evolved to the point where they are no longer afraid of potential annihilation from any legal skirmish in any single country; one cannot "kill" something that has parts of it elsewhere from the place where one is trying to attack it.
Then, should we descend into anarchy? No, that is not the argument. A concerted effort by the leaders of the world and the legal geniuses should really sit down together and think this problem through. Already the traditional seats of government are having troubles with legislation with regards to the Internet, and now the Internet is literally real, with real money and real capital moving around, and no longer like the nebulous entity that was once thought of as an academic curiosity. If the concept of the government as the social protectors of a sovereign state is still true, then effective checks and balances must be enforced to give fairness back to the citizens.
When dictators take power, unsatisfied masses can take those said dictators down and bring about a period of peace and progress. But when multi-national corporations take power, and misuse them, who then has the power to take them down? Our last institutions for the social good, the government, seem to have reached the point where they are fast being manipulated by the corporations; tell me, who doesn't like money being injected into one's enterprise, be it a company or a country?
I fear for our future. If we don't beef up our sense of social good and rationality, we are fast descending into a situation where we won't be able to enjoy the simple pleasures that we are losing now, and more importantly, we might be in an age where we are all mere cogs of the larger corporations, whose existence spans beyond the constraints of laws, who wield more power than the UN, who make decisions which impact billions of people and yet are not checked in their power. We are then looking at the fall of human institution as we know it.
I'm not saying that all corporations are bad—I'm saying that in preserving their self-interests, they have reached the point where it is getting overexcessive, and is hardly fair to the consumers who literally give the corporations their perceived power in the markets. We need to bring fairness back to the people; technology should not be another class divide between the haves and the have-nots, and technology should also not be an imposition of the powerful's will on that of the masses.
Alright, I think I've spoken enough to relieve that discomfort in me. Again, till next time.
Check this out: Report of the National Consumer Council on EULAs. A shorter version of this can be found at their website.
It always pains me each time I see all these rather nasty sides of the software companies appearing. And to think that I am going into something that will eventually end up contributing to this whole shebang of a mess.
Already people are not having enough time to do stuff. Then, the subterfuge that millions of folks around the world face each day each time they use their device. Unfair DRMs, trusted computing platforms, and incomprehensible EULAs—it is obvious that most companies who dabble in technology are fighting rather dirtily to ensure that we are all bound to them indefinitely. So, in the future, it is likely that the governments of sovereign states have no true power; all of the political power and clout lie in that of the big corporations.
And it is not a dream; it is already happening as we speak now. Already we rely heavily on products from Google, and Microsoft, among other companies—it is known that countries are trying ways and means to seduce these large multi-national companies to set up regional headquarters in their countries, simply because of the influx of capital and investments.
All seems good. But this brings us back to my original qualm: there is no law anymore. Does anyone really think that all those anti-trust convictions of Microsoft in Europe are actually going to have the effect that they were supposed to have? Does anyone really believe that all these corporations are benevolent entities who are trying to make the world a better place by contributing to infrastructure in the places where they set up their various offices?
No! They are corporations, and by definition, profits are what they care of the most. And given their current [extended] reach, some of them have evolved to the point where they are no longer afraid of potential annihilation from any legal skirmish in any single country; one cannot "kill" something that has parts of it elsewhere from the place where one is trying to attack it.
Then, should we descend into anarchy? No, that is not the argument. A concerted effort by the leaders of the world and the legal geniuses should really sit down together and think this problem through. Already the traditional seats of government are having troubles with legislation with regards to the Internet, and now the Internet is literally real, with real money and real capital moving around, and no longer like the nebulous entity that was once thought of as an academic curiosity. If the concept of the government as the social protectors of a sovereign state is still true, then effective checks and balances must be enforced to give fairness back to the citizens.
When dictators take power, unsatisfied masses can take those said dictators down and bring about a period of peace and progress. But when multi-national corporations take power, and misuse them, who then has the power to take them down? Our last institutions for the social good, the government, seem to have reached the point where they are fast being manipulated by the corporations; tell me, who doesn't like money being injected into one's enterprise, be it a company or a country?
I fear for our future. If we don't beef up our sense of social good and rationality, we are fast descending into a situation where we won't be able to enjoy the simple pleasures that we are losing now, and more importantly, we might be in an age where we are all mere cogs of the larger corporations, whose existence spans beyond the constraints of laws, who wield more power than the UN, who make decisions which impact billions of people and yet are not checked in their power. We are then looking at the fall of human institution as we know it.
I'm not saying that all corporations are bad—I'm saying that in preserving their self-interests, they have reached the point where it is getting overexcessive, and is hardly fair to the consumers who literally give the corporations their perceived power in the markets. We need to bring fairness back to the people; technology should not be another class divide between the haves and the have-nots, and technology should also not be an imposition of the powerful's will on that of the masses.
Alright, I think I've spoken enough to relieve that discomfort in me. Again, till next time.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Intermezzo
Without sounding too melodramatic, here I am once more, writing a little of my mind and thoughts here. It is a Saturday, and I am still a little weary from the rather hectic week that I had. There were lots to be done in the last week, from preparing for exams, to fixing my programs to visiting my community partner's site to gather information to do a report.
Speaking of the report, I had no clue if it were supposed to be a draft or something quite polished, so I ended up erring on the side of the latter and turned in something that weighed in at 9 pages, single-spaced. It was mildly unnerving, considering the fact that a member of my mentor group for the technical consulting course shared his report of only 3 pages.
I had to write four essays prior to that though—all for my Introduction to Ethics course. I chose the first four to write on, namely on Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle. I think I should have covered the material sufficiently in my essays, but I have no clue on whether I'll be in good shape or not; it is, after all, my first time writing for a philosophy-type class.
And the numerical methods exam. I think I might have shot myself in the proverbial foot when I decided to change my answer to the last question in the last minute, which I later realised to be wrong. This is yet more empirical evidence that one should always trust one's first gut reaction for the most part.
I'm so lethargic today. Granted, I've done about a third of my machine learning homework, but I'm feeling somewhat lackadaisical. Maybe it's because I need more coffee, but I'm not really sure. There's so many things to work on (what's new?), and I know that I have the latent energy around to do them. But the mere thought of doing them is in itself, an inertial barrier towards my actual doing of the work.
Oh, and on Valentine's Day, I did something that I had never done before: I wrote an obfuscated C code and sent it to my girlfriend, simply because she didn't want anything on Valentine's Day. It wasn't the most sophisticated obfuscation ever, but she was delighted at it, which makes me happy too.
Argh. I think that I need to get more coffee. I'm starting to be a little woozy from all this strange sense of lethargy. I need more coffee. Need more coffee. More coffee. Coffee.
Till next time.
Speaking of the report, I had no clue if it were supposed to be a draft or something quite polished, so I ended up erring on the side of the latter and turned in something that weighed in at 9 pages, single-spaced. It was mildly unnerving, considering the fact that a member of my mentor group for the technical consulting course shared his report of only 3 pages.
I had to write four essays prior to that though—all for my Introduction to Ethics course. I chose the first four to write on, namely on Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle. I think I should have covered the material sufficiently in my essays, but I have no clue on whether I'll be in good shape or not; it is, after all, my first time writing for a philosophy-type class.
And the numerical methods exam. I think I might have shot myself in the proverbial foot when I decided to change my answer to the last question in the last minute, which I later realised to be wrong. This is yet more empirical evidence that one should always trust one's first gut reaction for the most part.
I'm so lethargic today. Granted, I've done about a third of my machine learning homework, but I'm feeling somewhat lackadaisical. Maybe it's because I need more coffee, but I'm not really sure. There's so many things to work on (what's new?), and I know that I have the latent energy around to do them. But the mere thought of doing them is in itself, an inertial barrier towards my actual doing of the work.
Oh, and on Valentine's Day, I did something that I had never done before: I wrote an obfuscated C code and sent it to my girlfriend, simply because she didn't want anything on Valentine's Day. It wasn't the most sophisticated obfuscation ever, but she was delighted at it, which makes me happy too.
Argh. I think that I need to get more coffee. I'm starting to be a little woozy from all this strange sense of lethargy. I need more coffee. Need more coffee. More coffee. Coffee.
Till next time.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Community Involvement
And now, on a completely different note, today was a most interesting day. I went to my Community Partner's site today to work on my Technical Consulting class, and was pleasantly surprised at the level of devotion that the folks there had for the job that they were doing. Considering the fact that I've been working with technology from a developer's perspective for so long, doing things from the consultant's perspective has revealed technology in a different light to me. This whole [new] perspective has further amplified the main idea that I have been having—technology is useless unless it can serve people's needs. Broadly speaking, the field of Computer Science can be split into Systems and Theory; Theory is where computer scientists develop new concepts and ideas to further define the theoretical bounds with which we as computer scientists can operate in, while Systems makes use of the theory created to create real technology that can be used to help enhance people's work processes, be it for fun or for profit.
I've always seen myself as a Systems person; something about getting into the nitty-gritty that makes me feel happy. At the same time though, I love to read up on current advances in theory so that I can further improve technology to do even more, thus releasing us humans to spend more time doing what we do best—innovating and inventing. Needless to say, this consulting course is just starting, but I find myself slowly enjoying the process, and have re-found that lost spark in me that I once had, the spark in me that loved to help others. Sometimes, life does give one strange surprises and can open one's eyes to things that one has never seen before.
Another interesting thing happened today that made me feel really pleased. I'm currently taking a StuCo course, Introduction to Traditional Chinese Music. Now, if you actually know me, you might wonder why the blazes am I taking such a course, considering my history. Honestly, I just miss my traditional Chinese music. But I digress so much. The pleasing thing was that the instructor invited me to conduct the course for next semester. Of course I agreed—one of the things that I like to do is to spread Traditional Chinese Music around, not in an evangelistic way, but more of a sharing way.
Alright, I've already spent too much time writing this; I need to work on some essays that are due soon for my take-home exam. Until next time...
I've always seen myself as a Systems person; something about getting into the nitty-gritty that makes me feel happy. At the same time though, I love to read up on current advances in theory so that I can further improve technology to do even more, thus releasing us humans to spend more time doing what we do best—innovating and inventing. Needless to say, this consulting course is just starting, but I find myself slowly enjoying the process, and have re-found that lost spark in me that I once had, the spark in me that loved to help others. Sometimes, life does give one strange surprises and can open one's eyes to things that one has never seen before.
Another interesting thing happened today that made me feel really pleased. I'm currently taking a StuCo course, Introduction to Traditional Chinese Music. Now, if you actually know me, you might wonder why the blazes am I taking such a course, considering my history. Honestly, I just miss my traditional Chinese music. But I digress so much. The pleasing thing was that the instructor invited me to conduct the course for next semester. Of course I agreed—one of the things that I like to do is to spread Traditional Chinese Music around, not in an evangelistic way, but more of a sharing way.
Alright, I've already spent too much time writing this; I need to work on some essays that are due soon for my take-home exam. Until next time...
I'da Say It, But Maybe Her Ideas Are Different...
Alright alright... because Danielle was complaining about me being so secretive, I will prove her wrong and put it here (all your fault hahahaha) complaining that she didn't know that I have a girlfriend, I'll "announce" it a little more "officially" here.
I'm currently dating a really awesome girl. She's smart, geeky, lovable, pretty, independent, inquisitive, intellectually stimulating, passionate and caring. If you've read the rather short paragraph here on the kind of girl I like and looked rather carefully at the timestamps of the posts here, you'd probably realise that something might just be a tad amiss—I'm updating this blog rather sporadically. And yes, it's because I'm dating her.
She's an amazing person. With all honesty, I had first met her nearly a year ago, and found her to be a rather interesting (but mildly awkward) person. I started hanging out with her and her friends over the last semester, and slowly feelings started to develop between us.
And so, we're now dating. Take that, my X-who-has-turned-into-a-Y!
By the way, the last I heard (from the horse's mouth, no less), it seems that my X-who-has-turned-into-a-Y seems to have grande social problems these days. So, I guess I shouldn't be too unhappy now, eh?
And no, I will not put my girlfriend's name here nor anywhere. Nor will I say it in real life unless she is with me. MWAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaha...
I'm currently dating a really awesome girl. She's smart, geeky, lovable, pretty, independent, inquisitive, intellectually stimulating, passionate and caring. If you've read the rather short paragraph here on the kind of girl I like and looked rather carefully at the timestamps of the posts here, you'd probably realise that something might just be a tad amiss—I'm updating this blog rather sporadically. And yes, it's because I'm dating her.
She's an amazing person. With all honesty, I had first met her nearly a year ago, and found her to be a rather interesting (but mildly awkward) person. I started hanging out with her and her friends over the last semester, and slowly feelings started to develop between us.
And so, we're now dating. Take that, my X-who-has-turned-into-a-Y!
By the way, the last I heard (from the horse's mouth, no less), it seems that my X-who-has-turned-into-a-Y seems to have grande social problems these days. So, I guess I shouldn't be too unhappy now, eh?
And no, I will not put my girlfriend's name here nor anywhere. Nor will I say it in real life unless she is with me. MWAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaha...
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Mellow Motif
Something rather interesting: Mellow Motif. Mellow Motif is a small jazz band that a fellow CMU undergraduate (Eugene) is in, and it features the really excellent vocals of Natasha. A real treat if light jazz music is your thing; they make really a nice listening.
Now they are going to have to compete with my Teresa Teng to see who gets more air-time. Hahahahaha...
Now they are going to have to compete with my Teresa Teng to see who gets more air-time. Hahahahaha...
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Mish-mash of Words
The strange thing about life is how things seem to occur in cycles. Like how out of a sudden, Linear Algebra is returning once more as a major topic in the classes that I am taking. In two completely disparate classes, the concepts of linear algebra popped up today. And of course, coming from the GCE 'A'-level examination system meant that I had previously messed around with the linear algebra before.
The strange thing about the term "linear" lies in the fact that it always sounds easy, I mean, what can be easier than a linear system, right? Except not. Everything else that is called "linear" as far as I know, display characteristics that are much further from the truth. Linear algebra is one of them, another might be that of linear cryptanalysis, a technique for code-breaking. And of course, trying to attain linear time for many algorithms is just too much of a hassle for the most part, which makes this hard too.
The strange thing about this post is that I started this post quite a while back, but didn't have the time/energy/heart to put more words to it to finally complete it. Until now, I guess.
——
On a wholly unrelated note, I realise that this semester is not as smooth-sailing as initially envisioned—there seems to be a huge amount of work that is to be done, though in theory most of all these can be completed in a not-too-hard fashion. The quantity is tremendous, but perhaps I might prevail. Past images of the previous semester keep coming back to haunt me, but I think that perhaps those images are not justifiable—I'm more than half way through my undergraduate career, and so in theory I am a little wiser than before and am not taking classes that can totally wreak havoc on all that I strive for.
The strange thing about the term "linear" lies in the fact that it always sounds easy, I mean, what can be easier than a linear system, right? Except not. Everything else that is called "linear" as far as I know, display characteristics that are much further from the truth. Linear algebra is one of them, another might be that of linear cryptanalysis, a technique for code-breaking. And of course, trying to attain linear time for many algorithms is just too much of a hassle for the most part, which makes this hard too.
The strange thing about this post is that I started this post quite a while back, but didn't have the time/energy/heart to put more words to it to finally complete it. Until now, I guess.
——
On a wholly unrelated note, I realise that this semester is not as smooth-sailing as initially envisioned—there seems to be a huge amount of work that is to be done, though in theory most of all these can be completed in a not-too-hard fashion. The quantity is tremendous, but perhaps I might prevail. Past images of the previous semester keep coming back to haunt me, but I think that perhaps those images are not justifiable—I'm more than half way through my undergraduate career, and so in theory I am a little wiser than before and am not taking classes that can totally wreak havoc on all that I strive for.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Losing Weight in Winter == Silly As Hell
So as usual, the silly Pittsburgh weather is as schizophrenic as always, and as usual, it annoys the heck out of me, particularly since I'm literally on a weight-loss regimen. Yes, dear reader, you heard that right. I am on a weight-loss regimen of my own designation.
I'm fat. So says the silly BMI scale though. At the current mass that I have, my BMI is something like 27-ish, which, according to the BMI, is "overweight". I personally feel that most of the mass is from muscle, but the fact that my face appears somewhat chubby even to me and that I still cannot fit into my old jeans still kind of bring me back to the reality that perhaps the amount of body fat that I actually have is a little on the high side, despite the fact that I have muscle mass (yes, I do have muscle mass). On a more serious note, the weight-loss regimen is to avoid the issues other potential problems, like getting too weakened in the future from all that mass among other things.
The rather uncomfortable thing about it all lies in the fact that I decided to lose the said excessive mass during the period of the year where it is actually the coldest. Pretty brilliant idea huh? So now, I literally have to suck it down and brave the cold with ever shrinking amounts of body fat.
Alright, enough rant for now. Maybe more stuff later on.
I'm fat. So says the silly BMI scale though. At the current mass that I have, my BMI is something like 27-ish, which, according to the BMI, is "overweight". I personally feel that most of the mass is from muscle, but the fact that my face appears somewhat chubby even to me and that I still cannot fit into my old jeans still kind of bring me back to the reality that perhaps the amount of body fat that I actually have is a little on the high side, despite the fact that I have muscle mass (yes, I do have muscle mass). On a more serious note, the weight-loss regimen is to avoid the issues other potential problems, like getting too weakened in the future from all that mass among other things.
The rather uncomfortable thing about it all lies in the fact that I decided to lose the said excessive mass during the period of the year where it is actually the coldest. Pretty brilliant idea huh? So now, I literally have to suck it down and brave the cold with ever shrinking amounts of body fat.
Alright, enough rant for now. Maybe more stuff later on.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Ultimate Goal in This Life
The last few weeks have changed my perspective on things in general. For one, I'm no longer at looking at things in a purely technical way—I find that I'm also rather interested in the human side of things too. As much as coding is concerned, it would appear to be the case that I try to write less code as oppposed to before, where I actually liked writing more.
One might say that perhaps I have turned into a different kind of me. The me that has probably been lying latent for so long, suppressed due to the environment and even perhaps the people. The me that is essentially a human, not some silly machine that can only spew code and pure geek talk all over the place.
Of course, like all things that I say, I always maintain some sense of a skepticism. Maybe all these are but dreams, and that all these new-found interests in life in general are mere manifestations that do not have any long term effects. I will probably not know about this, but in the meantime, I'm just happy being the way I am.
Life is getting more interesting, probably due to the fact that I'm not taking that many technical courses this semester (I still need to clear all the general education stuff like philosophy-like, psyhology-like and sociology-like classes) and that I'm being exposed to a whole new dimension of things. Suddenly, my world does not consist of just computer programs and more computer programs—there are economic models, theories of ethics and process consulting helping real people solving real problems.
That's where my interest lies—helping real people solve real problems. I knew from the onset that I didn't really like purely theoretical stuff that has no application whatsoever; let's just call it the engineering blood in me talking. I like solving problems; I am a creative thinker. And to top it all off, I have enough charisma and varied experience to be able to pull things off. Does this mean that I no longer like doing research? No, on the contrary, it gives me even more interest in research. Prior to this semester, I've always been in a rather nebulous state of what kind of field that I should be doing research in. I envy my colleagues who have seemingly clear senses of what they would like to research upon, be it theoretical physics, immunology, or even astrophysics. Yet, whenever I ask myself the [rather] simple question of "what is my research focus", I cannot seem to come up with a coherent enough answer that satisfies myself.
I love computer science—that's something that almost everyone who has ever met me will automatically realise. But computer science is too vast a field; and the world being the way it is, there is a need for me to just narrow down my specialty to a single part of computer science. I surveyed the field; I read the literature. I looked at myself, and reflected upon my abilities and short-comings. And I realised that being a pure theoretician is not the way that I should be pursuing what I love. I hereby choose machine learning.
Machine learning is awesome. It gives the computer or computing machinery a rather potent way of being able to come up with its own judgements of things, based literally on what it has seen before. It doesn't require the programmer to sit down and design a program that steps through all possibilities, neither does it require someone to sit there and literally train the computing machinery what is "right" and what is "wrong" for a given situation. At my very heart, I'm a knowledge gatherer—I am addicted to knowing things, which explains why I read all kinds of arcane (read: non-specialty related) texts like pathology, metallurgy, romance and even history just for fun. And after a while, I realise that my mortal mind isn't really capable of retaining all that I might have seen in my lifetime. I assume that among all the other mortals like me, they all have similar problems. If machine learning can be improved to the point that it can make the machines become powerful-enough data classifiers, it will relieve scientists in all fields of the need to memorise voluminous facts, and instead allow them to do what scientists do best—designing creative solutions.
Maybe I'm not smart enough to make a really ground-breaking discovery that will revolutionise the world, but I guess I'm smart enough to be able to apply what I have learnt from such diverse fields and of machine learning to do something that people can actually use to help themselves in life in general. If that can be done, then I guess that I should be rather happy about things, and my job in my professional life will be done.
Force of personality—I think I have neglected that aspect of mine for quite a while ever since I became an official scholar. For too long I have felt threatened by the glamourous fields that my colleagues are involved in, like neuroscience and cancer-research. But now, I just feel somewhat content with my lot. I have a strange talent that even I don't really have a full grasp of, and perhaps this is that extra special something that sets me as being different from the rest of the folks. Comparatively, I'm probably not as smart as many of them, but then again, I'm not as dumb as I seem. An extravert on the outside; an introvert on the inside. There is perhaps more to me that I know little about, and as time goes by and I age ever so frequently, the hidden sides of me are starting to reveal themselves to me in time.
I was not born into a family of great repute nor wealth, nor was my family ever gaining great repute and wealth. I have nothing more to upkeep other than my own ethos; and that has been building itself up rather steadily as time goes by and I slowly seek myself. To be bound in reality, yet free in the mind; a seemingly paradoxical goal, but one that I seem to be striving towards. Reality and abstraction seem one and the same, and I am slowly feeling more at ease at both. Perhaps when I return for the summer, I'd appear to be a much different person than before—I'm not surprised. My world used to be full of shadows of blacks and grays, but today as I stand here and look out of the window, soft pastel colours dominate the landscape.
If I were to die some day, I want to be able to say in my dying breath, that I had, indeed, lived a good life. That is perhaps the ultimate goal in this life.
One might say that perhaps I have turned into a different kind of me. The me that has probably been lying latent for so long, suppressed due to the environment and even perhaps the people. The me that is essentially a human, not some silly machine that can only spew code and pure geek talk all over the place.
Of course, like all things that I say, I always maintain some sense of a skepticism. Maybe all these are but dreams, and that all these new-found interests in life in general are mere manifestations that do not have any long term effects. I will probably not know about this, but in the meantime, I'm just happy being the way I am.
Life is getting more interesting, probably due to the fact that I'm not taking that many technical courses this semester (I still need to clear all the general education stuff like philosophy-like, psyhology-like and sociology-like classes) and that I'm being exposed to a whole new dimension of things. Suddenly, my world does not consist of just computer programs and more computer programs—there are economic models, theories of ethics and process consulting helping real people solving real problems.
That's where my interest lies—helping real people solve real problems. I knew from the onset that I didn't really like purely theoretical stuff that has no application whatsoever; let's just call it the engineering blood in me talking. I like solving problems; I am a creative thinker. And to top it all off, I have enough charisma and varied experience to be able to pull things off. Does this mean that I no longer like doing research? No, on the contrary, it gives me even more interest in research. Prior to this semester, I've always been in a rather nebulous state of what kind of field that I should be doing research in. I envy my colleagues who have seemingly clear senses of what they would like to research upon, be it theoretical physics, immunology, or even astrophysics. Yet, whenever I ask myself the [rather] simple question of "what is my research focus", I cannot seem to come up with a coherent enough answer that satisfies myself.
I love computer science—that's something that almost everyone who has ever met me will automatically realise. But computer science is too vast a field; and the world being the way it is, there is a need for me to just narrow down my specialty to a single part of computer science. I surveyed the field; I read the literature. I looked at myself, and reflected upon my abilities and short-comings. And I realised that being a pure theoretician is not the way that I should be pursuing what I love. I hereby choose machine learning.
Machine learning is awesome. It gives the computer or computing machinery a rather potent way of being able to come up with its own judgements of things, based literally on what it has seen before. It doesn't require the programmer to sit down and design a program that steps through all possibilities, neither does it require someone to sit there and literally train the computing machinery what is "right" and what is "wrong" for a given situation. At my very heart, I'm a knowledge gatherer—I am addicted to knowing things, which explains why I read all kinds of arcane (read: non-specialty related) texts like pathology, metallurgy, romance and even history just for fun. And after a while, I realise that my mortal mind isn't really capable of retaining all that I might have seen in my lifetime. I assume that among all the other mortals like me, they all have similar problems. If machine learning can be improved to the point that it can make the machines become powerful-enough data classifiers, it will relieve scientists in all fields of the need to memorise voluminous facts, and instead allow them to do what scientists do best—designing creative solutions.
Maybe I'm not smart enough to make a really ground-breaking discovery that will revolutionise the world, but I guess I'm smart enough to be able to apply what I have learnt from such diverse fields and of machine learning to do something that people can actually use to help themselves in life in general. If that can be done, then I guess that I should be rather happy about things, and my job in my professional life will be done.
Force of personality—I think I have neglected that aspect of mine for quite a while ever since I became an official scholar. For too long I have felt threatened by the glamourous fields that my colleagues are involved in, like neuroscience and cancer-research. But now, I just feel somewhat content with my lot. I have a strange talent that even I don't really have a full grasp of, and perhaps this is that extra special something that sets me as being different from the rest of the folks. Comparatively, I'm probably not as smart as many of them, but then again, I'm not as dumb as I seem. An extravert on the outside; an introvert on the inside. There is perhaps more to me that I know little about, and as time goes by and I age ever so frequently, the hidden sides of me are starting to reveal themselves to me in time.
I was not born into a family of great repute nor wealth, nor was my family ever gaining great repute and wealth. I have nothing more to upkeep other than my own ethos; and that has been building itself up rather steadily as time goes by and I slowly seek myself. To be bound in reality, yet free in the mind; a seemingly paradoxical goal, but one that I seem to be striving towards. Reality and abstraction seem one and the same, and I am slowly feeling more at ease at both. Perhaps when I return for the summer, I'd appear to be a much different person than before—I'm not surprised. My world used to be full of shadows of blacks and grays, but today as I stand here and look out of the window, soft pastel colours dominate the landscape.
If I were to die some day, I want to be able to say in my dying breath, that I had, indeed, lived a good life. That is perhaps the ultimate goal in this life.
Monday, January 28, 2008
I'm Obviously Not Writing Here That Often Now
It is perhaps noteworthy that I am currently not writing that often in here. Maybe it is because I have started to run out of things to gripe about, or that there are much more things in the real world that I need to deal with instead of making all kinds of silly noises here. All in all, I suspsect that this might be a good thing.
So, yes, there was a rather interesting anonymous comment made in my previous post. And the answer to that is carefully constructed and placed in the comments section therein. And no, I did not ambush myself with a question like that to generate traffic—on the contrary, I was actively trying to reduce unnecessary traffic due to a rather silly google mis-classification of my blog as providing some manner of download in the form of some wallpaper image.
I don't need that search engine giant propogating my life throughout the world—hardly necessary I suppose. Speaking of which, this semester is just about to start to get rather interesting, as things are starting to rev-up rather quickly. Already I have 6 pieces of homework due on the same day (i.e. tomorrow), and thankfully I'm down to about my last 3, one of which involves drawing some diagram (hopefully not taking too long to do), and another on proving some interesting properties of series convergence (I should be able to do that without killing myself too much I guess). Thank goodness for the invention of LaTeX, otherwise I cannot foresee what I would be doing running around with random scraps of paper and trying to put solutions and proofs together in a linear fashion.
Computer-based work is rather interesting, in the sense that we can do many things in a non-linear way. This is rather useful, since it allows us to better re-allocate our time with regards to what we are doing—literally allowing us to attempt (and solve) the parts of the homework sets that we are confident of solving, and not waste precious time getting rather stalled at the ones that we don't know.
That said, I am contemplating over several issues. One would be whether to obtain Office 2007, and the other is a choice between an ultra-portable computation system or a small-form factor server with which I can use Edythe to talk to. None of these are of particular significance at the moment, and so they currently belong in the "good-to-have" category of expenditure—I've more things to worried about now.
That said, it is back to the grindstone. I just want to finish all my business I have with Windows XP so that I can switch over to Slackware and work on my math proofs.
Till next time.
So, yes, there was a rather interesting anonymous comment made in my previous post. And the answer to that is carefully constructed and placed in the comments section therein. And no, I did not ambush myself with a question like that to generate traffic—on the contrary, I was actively trying to reduce unnecessary traffic due to a rather silly google mis-classification of my blog as providing some manner of download in the form of some wallpaper image.
I don't need that search engine giant propogating my life throughout the world—hardly necessary I suppose. Speaking of which, this semester is just about to start to get rather interesting, as things are starting to rev-up rather quickly. Already I have 6 pieces of homework due on the same day (i.e. tomorrow), and thankfully I'm down to about my last 3, one of which involves drawing some diagram (hopefully not taking too long to do), and another on proving some interesting properties of series convergence (I should be able to do that without killing myself too much I guess). Thank goodness for the invention of LaTeX, otherwise I cannot foresee what I would be doing running around with random scraps of paper and trying to put solutions and proofs together in a linear fashion.
Computer-based work is rather interesting, in the sense that we can do many things in a non-linear way. This is rather useful, since it allows us to better re-allocate our time with regards to what we are doing—literally allowing us to attempt (and solve) the parts of the homework sets that we are confident of solving, and not waste precious time getting rather stalled at the ones that we don't know.
That said, I am contemplating over several issues. One would be whether to obtain Office 2007, and the other is a choice between an ultra-portable computation system or a small-form factor server with which I can use Edythe to talk to. None of these are of particular significance at the moment, and so they currently belong in the "good-to-have" category of expenditure—I've more things to worried about now.
That said, it is back to the grindstone. I just want to finish all my business I have with Windows XP so that I can switch over to Slackware and work on my math proofs.
Till next time.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Almost Done From Hiding
*yawn* Alright, I'm done for the day.
So I grew older by one day officially. No big deal, I guess. I tried to stay away from huge crowds for the last 2 days, and it kinda worked out well. The card and cake got through, but I didn't want to be in such awkward situations.
Call it a tradition I guess.
And no, by now, folks should have realised that I don't really like huge parties—it's just not my style, particularly parties that are being held in my honour. That just doesn't work out. Not being anti-social here, but that huge crowd of people doing something for me just makes me feel rather uncomfortable, considering the fact that I'm more used to doing stuff with/for people than having stuff done for me.
Now that most of the world has passed on into the next day, I think that things are going to get back to normal. Time to get on with life and figure out how to factor in a huge New York-styled cheese-cake as a part of my meals.
Now, if the SSA is going to hold some silly cake-cutting thing on Friday, I'd be bloody uncomfortable and will just bolt off. I mean, seriously, I think I'm probably never going to get used to this, and so yeah, leave me out of this. Ugh.
And no. There wasn't any huge parties, there wasn't a single cake-cutting session, and there weren't anything of that form whatsoever because I didn't want it. A birthday is like any other day, no big deal... hence there's nothing of this sort.
I know, I'm a boring person, but too bad. M3h.
So I grew older by one day officially. No big deal, I guess. I tried to stay away from huge crowds for the last 2 days, and it kinda worked out well. The card and cake got through, but I didn't want to be in such awkward situations.
Call it a tradition I guess.
And no, by now, folks should have realised that I don't really like huge parties—it's just not my style, particularly parties that are being held in my honour. That just doesn't work out. Not being anti-social here, but that huge crowd of people doing something for me just makes me feel rather uncomfortable, considering the fact that I'm more used to doing stuff with/for people than having stuff done for me.
Now that most of the world has passed on into the next day, I think that things are going to get back to normal. Time to get on with life and figure out how to factor in a huge New York-styled cheese-cake as a part of my meals.
Now, if the SSA is going to hold some silly cake-cutting thing on Friday, I'd be bloody uncomfortable and will just bolt off. I mean, seriously, I think I'm probably never going to get used to this, and so yeah, leave me out of this. Ugh.
And no. There wasn't any huge parties, there wasn't a single cake-cutting session, and there weren't anything of that form whatsoever because I didn't want it. A birthday is like any other day, no big deal... hence there's nothing of this sort.
I know, I'm a boring person, but too bad. M3h.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
20,000 Leagues Under The Sea is Over
And today, I end the story of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Vernes. It is a most remarkable story, though the ending seems to be a tad too dreary and rushed.
On the whole, I rather like this book. Now, the next in my series of leisure reading will be something of a completely different nature—Emma by Jane Austen.
Let's see how many of those literary classics I can read for my leisure time...
On the whole, I rather like this book. Now, the next in my series of leisure reading will be something of a completely different nature—Emma by Jane Austen.
Let's see how many of those literary classics I can read for my leisure time...
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Python and SAGE
Honestly, I've always been a rather staunch C/C++ programmer, ever since they gave up supporting QBasic and the rise of GNU/Linux as the "new" hacker-friendly operating system. But after two days of programming with python and SAGE, I must say that python (and its math-oriented superset, SAGE) now rank among my favourite languages.
Python programming is in some ways like the best of C/C++ and Standard ML; python has a decent object oriented programming interface, a decent imperative programming interface, and a decent functional programming interface. The ability to use these three interfaces interchangeably in a single source file is something that I appreciate a lot. For example, some things are more intuitively done with a functional programming interface than through an imperative one, not that C/C++ cannot do it, but the way it is done in python is rather straightforward (just pass the name of the function) as opposed to that done by C/C++ (you pass the name of the function, except that when you write code that uses the passed function, you need to deal with a rather peculiar syntax for function pointers). Also, some things (like mapping over a list of items) are more intuitively done with functional-styled programming than imperative.
Some peculiarities of python need some getting used to. Functions and lists are literally first class citizens in the language, which means that most of the operations that are available off the compiler/interpreter often take lists/functions as parameters. Not that this is bad/inefficient, but it sure takes a little getting used to as opposed to the usual for-loop in C/C++ with counters and stuff—python supports a for-loop whose style is more for iterating through items in a list. Strangely, that doesn't impair me a single bit, since I don't usually use complicated for-loops to start with.
Overall, it is a rather interesting experience in writing code in python. The only reason why it took me so long before I actually started on it was the fact that in its earlier life, python wasn't stable enough for use—the language seemed to be rather ad hoc and have no real structure, and there wasn't a standardised distribution nor a standardised language feature list. Now that python is in a more stable state, it seems rather apt that I play around with it and increase my programming language repertoire once more.
——
In other news, I really want a flute with a B-foot. Not that the C-flute is bad, but that I'm really interested in taking my flute playing skills to a new level. Currently, I'm rather competent with notes that are within the staff, but notes on the upper ledger lines are still killing me on a regular basis. Considering the fact that I now own some practice books, it'll probably be much easier in getting the hang of those pesky upper ledger line notes. That all said and done, it is back to the grindstone for me in finishing more of my homework that is going to be due rather soon.
Till next time.
Python programming is in some ways like the best of C/C++ and Standard ML; python has a decent object oriented programming interface, a decent imperative programming interface, and a decent functional programming interface. The ability to use these three interfaces interchangeably in a single source file is something that I appreciate a lot. For example, some things are more intuitively done with a functional programming interface than through an imperative one, not that C/C++ cannot do it, but the way it is done in python is rather straightforward (just pass the name of the function) as opposed to that done by C/C++ (you pass the name of the function, except that when you write code that uses the passed function, you need to deal with a rather peculiar syntax for function pointers). Also, some things (like mapping over a list of items) are more intuitively done with functional-styled programming than imperative.
Some peculiarities of python need some getting used to. Functions and lists are literally first class citizens in the language, which means that most of the operations that are available off the compiler/interpreter often take lists/functions as parameters. Not that this is bad/inefficient, but it sure takes a little getting used to as opposed to the usual for-loop in C/C++ with counters and stuff—python supports a for-loop whose style is more for iterating through items in a list. Strangely, that doesn't impair me a single bit, since I don't usually use complicated for-loops to start with.
Overall, it is a rather interesting experience in writing code in python. The only reason why it took me so long before I actually started on it was the fact that in its earlier life, python wasn't stable enough for use—the language seemed to be rather ad hoc and have no real structure, and there wasn't a standardised distribution nor a standardised language feature list. Now that python is in a more stable state, it seems rather apt that I play around with it and increase my programming language repertoire once more.
——
In other news, I really want a flute with a B-foot. Not that the C-flute is bad, but that I'm really interested in taking my flute playing skills to a new level. Currently, I'm rather competent with notes that are within the staff, but notes on the upper ledger lines are still killing me on a regular basis. Considering the fact that I now own some practice books, it'll probably be much easier in getting the hang of those pesky upper ledger line notes. That all said and done, it is back to the grindstone for me in finishing more of my homework that is going to be due rather soon.
Till next time.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
A Semester Full of Writing and Reading
Ah, a nice text box which actually supports unicoded text and a [relatively] frills-free way of writing thoughts and other stuff. Yes, I miss the simpler days where writing meant picking up one's pen/pencil and writing away on paper, with each stroke a conscious effort made in order to present an idea to the reader.
This semester seems to promise a lot of writing, which can be both good and bad. It is great that there is a lot of writing envolved, as I realised that perhaps it is time for me to actually partake in a different kind of writing; the one that is more akin to the style that humanities scholars are used to, as opposed to the kind that I have been doing. With the writing comes the reading of course. There's just so many articles to read that I'm both happy and worried at the same time.
Also, for the Technical Consulting in the Community course, I actually get to participate in a consulting process and help create a technical consultant report on how to best aid a non-profit organisation in harnessing technology to better improve upon their business processes. That's right, all that skills and experience that I had learnt from my Army days are going to be very useful for this class, and I can't wait to learn even more on how to be a consultant. I mean, let's face it. Even though I keep telling everyone that the computer scientists are the ones who hold the infrastructural power, it is [sadly] still the business people who are the true wielders of power, by virtue of the fact that they are the one who obtain the necessary cash to fund the infrastructure to further their business needs.
What better way to get involved by being a consultant of sorts? I mean, looking at the long term, I can't possibly be doing research forever, leastways, not in Singapore, so there should be some other venue where my inquisitive nature and multi-disciplinary approach can be put to good use. Enhancing business processes can be seen as an optimisation-type problem, with the constraint that we need to pay particular attention to more than just what technology can or cannot do. The thing that I seem to be learning from the class is that there is a difference in being a consulatant and a hired worker; a consultant uses experiences and assists the organisation in setting up upgraded business processes on a strategic level, while the hired worker is just the one who implements the system that has been set forth by the management.
All these while, I've been thinking of myself as some kind of "trench-level" worker; literally fighting the front in the trenches of the war zone. Yet, sometimes deep inside me thare is this little voice that tells me that I could be something more, and that there is much more to me than just doing pure research and basically dealing with project after project without any other contribution to the world at large. Again, in some of those moments of self-doubt, I seem to think that I'm a weakling, and am unable to converse with people, as well as work with them, but the fact of the matter is indeed far from the truth—I am not of that sort. Everyone has their down points, and when I was thinking of things like that, it was most likely when I was at my down point; now I'm not there, and am riding high from waves of support and understanding from the people who care. I feel empowered, literally, to take on tasks which are of a different nature.
Let's face it. I'm not a genius, granted, but I am still rather smart. I'm not saying this in a "I-am-holier-than-thou-art" way, but rather in a matter-of-fact one. People look up to me or try to exploit me simply because there is something for them to look up to or exploit. Becky said something today that struck me in a way that I found rather empowering: "that's because you are good at what you do". So what is it that I am good at doing? Maybe I don't know the exact answer to that, but it is also very likely that I know a good enough approximation of that latent feeling and ability that I have.
Yes, it does make me warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe I have matured a little over the trials that I had for the last few years of my life, or maybe I didn't but circumstances seem to show that it is indeed this way. I am not gifted by any system devised by humankind, but I am blessed with some decent enough abilities. Less whining and more action should be the motto that I live by now.
This semester seems to promise a lot of writing, which can be both good and bad. It is great that there is a lot of writing envolved, as I realised that perhaps it is time for me to actually partake in a different kind of writing; the one that is more akin to the style that humanities scholars are used to, as opposed to the kind that I have been doing. With the writing comes the reading of course. There's just so many articles to read that I'm both happy and worried at the same time.
Also, for the Technical Consulting in the Community course, I actually get to participate in a consulting process and help create a technical consultant report on how to best aid a non-profit organisation in harnessing technology to better improve upon their business processes. That's right, all that skills and experience that I had learnt from my Army days are going to be very useful for this class, and I can't wait to learn even more on how to be a consultant. I mean, let's face it. Even though I keep telling everyone that the computer scientists are the ones who hold the infrastructural power, it is [sadly] still the business people who are the true wielders of power, by virtue of the fact that they are the one who obtain the necessary cash to fund the infrastructure to further their business needs.
What better way to get involved by being a consultant of sorts? I mean, looking at the long term, I can't possibly be doing research forever, leastways, not in Singapore, so there should be some other venue where my inquisitive nature and multi-disciplinary approach can be put to good use. Enhancing business processes can be seen as an optimisation-type problem, with the constraint that we need to pay particular attention to more than just what technology can or cannot do. The thing that I seem to be learning from the class is that there is a difference in being a consulatant and a hired worker; a consultant uses experiences and assists the organisation in setting up upgraded business processes on a strategic level, while the hired worker is just the one who implements the system that has been set forth by the management.
All these while, I've been thinking of myself as some kind of "trench-level" worker; literally fighting the front in the trenches of the war zone. Yet, sometimes deep inside me thare is this little voice that tells me that I could be something more, and that there is much more to me than just doing pure research and basically dealing with project after project without any other contribution to the world at large. Again, in some of those moments of self-doubt, I seem to think that I'm a weakling, and am unable to converse with people, as well as work with them, but the fact of the matter is indeed far from the truth—I am not of that sort. Everyone has their down points, and when I was thinking of things like that, it was most likely when I was at my down point; now I'm not there, and am riding high from waves of support and understanding from the people who care. I feel empowered, literally, to take on tasks which are of a different nature.
Let's face it. I'm not a genius, granted, but I am still rather smart. I'm not saying this in a "I-am-holier-than-thou-art" way, but rather in a matter-of-fact one. People look up to me or try to exploit me simply because there is something for them to look up to or exploit. Becky said something today that struck me in a way that I found rather empowering: "that's because you are good at what you do". So what is it that I am good at doing? Maybe I don't know the exact answer to that, but it is also very likely that I know a good enough approximation of that latent feeling and ability that I have.
Yes, it does make me warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe I have matured a little over the trials that I had for the last few years of my life, or maybe I didn't but circumstances seem to show that it is indeed this way. I am not gifted by any system devised by humankind, but I am blessed with some decent enough abilities. Less whining and more action should be the motto that I live by now.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Points of Note
Some quick points of note:
- Primary lithium-ion battery died from over-discharge—replacement has arrived
- Need more cheap coffee for day—stainless steel thermos flask has arrived to handle situation
- sage required for a course—downloaded source and compiled for slackware
- Needed colour-coded schedule—printed with colour laser printer at CFA cluster
- Birthday arriving—planning secret getaway to avoid the rather awkward situations that people will have on me
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Random Rant
Check out what I scribbled in cursive today:
Yeah, I know that it is very incoherent, but whatever.
Maybe later.
Yeah, I know that it is very incoherent, but whatever.Maybe later.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Hit'em Where It Hurts
It's rather interesting that the most powerfully written public policy statements are those that literally hits the people where it hurts the most. It makes sense really; considering the fact that people are most interested in something that they have a serious vested interest in. Think of it this way, a student will probably not worry about taxes as much as a person who is working in the industry; a healthy person will probably not worry too much about rises in costs of health care as compared to someone who has been suffering from a chronic illness.
Public policies seem to have a similar feel as a computer program—there are specifications to be met, and there are results which need to be evaluated in terms of efficiency and effectiveness.
Maybe I should branch into governance after my computer science career, and help set public policies…
Public policies seem to have a similar feel as a computer program—there are specifications to be met, and there are results which need to be evaluated in terms of efficiency and effectiveness.
Maybe I should branch into governance after my computer science career, and help set public policies…
Friday, January 11, 2008
Me
After living for two decades, I still don't understand people. That's all. I just can't simply understand them enough—I don't understand them enough to help them, I don't understand enough to get close to them, I don't understand enough to be with them.
Ech, such a loser at life.
But then again, maybe being detached and not worrying too much about things of that nature can work out well. I'm not saying that it is the best way of doing things, but perhaps I should just be whoever I am, and not worry too much about helping others. Yes, I am fully aware that the urge to help someone in need is overwhelming in me most of the time, but then again I must realise that not everyone wants help, and then again among those that want help, they might not want my kind of help. I'm only a human, not some super-hero who can go out to solve the city's problem—I should just do what I can, which includes not offering to help people unless they come seeking me for it, and even then, only when they have a specific type of need in mind.
Is that being selfish? No, I'm being pragmatic here. Often I appear to be standoffish when in actual fact I'm not, or, put in another way, I try a little too hard to help people. That, in retrospect, is probably my chief error in life thus far. Some things I should work hard towards, like setting up my professional standing amongst my peers in the field, while others I shouldn't work too hard on, like extending my personal social circle.
Being an all-rounded individual is something that I'd love to achieve, but I must face reality—I can never be equally great in all the fields simultaneously because of the nature of moderation and balance. For every trait that I increase in prowess, there will be several that will suffer penalties; such is the law of nature. The trick then, is to just ensure that the traits and qualities that I have which suffer penalties do not suffer too much of them to the point that I become handicapped, and with that in mind, I think that I'm doing a pretty decent job.
In short, I think I'm great in my own little way, and I should learn to appreciate myself a bit more. I mean, it took many miracles and hard work to get to where I am today; it will take more miracles and even more hard work to take me to where I want to go to tomorrow. Miracles come only because I realised opportunities and took them, often with the help and support of those who truly care; that care mayn't be one that encompasses all aspects of me (heck, only parents + siblings + significant other can do that), but the range of that care might just be sufficient to push me on into the right direction.
I owe no one a living, but I owe many people their tacit concern and help. Without those who are always behind me in whatever I do, I can get nowhere. That is the nature of life. Maybe one might say that then I owe them a living; but I say that I owe them something that is different from the economic undertones of the term "living". I might not grow up and become a person whom people love, but at least I am growing up and becoming a person whom people respect.
I guess I shouldn't be asking for more.
*nods*
Ech, such a loser at life.
But then again, maybe being detached and not worrying too much about things of that nature can work out well. I'm not saying that it is the best way of doing things, but perhaps I should just be whoever I am, and not worry too much about helping others. Yes, I am fully aware that the urge to help someone in need is overwhelming in me most of the time, but then again I must realise that not everyone wants help, and then again among those that want help, they might not want my kind of help. I'm only a human, not some super-hero who can go out to solve the city's problem—I should just do what I can, which includes not offering to help people unless they come seeking me for it, and even then, only when they have a specific type of need in mind.
Is that being selfish? No, I'm being pragmatic here. Often I appear to be standoffish when in actual fact I'm not, or, put in another way, I try a little too hard to help people. That, in retrospect, is probably my chief error in life thus far. Some things I should work hard towards, like setting up my professional standing amongst my peers in the field, while others I shouldn't work too hard on, like extending my personal social circle.
Being an all-rounded individual is something that I'd love to achieve, but I must face reality—I can never be equally great in all the fields simultaneously because of the nature of moderation and balance. For every trait that I increase in prowess, there will be several that will suffer penalties; such is the law of nature. The trick then, is to just ensure that the traits and qualities that I have which suffer penalties do not suffer too much of them to the point that I become handicapped, and with that in mind, I think that I'm doing a pretty decent job.
In short, I think I'm great in my own little way, and I should learn to appreciate myself a bit more. I mean, it took many miracles and hard work to get to where I am today; it will take more miracles and even more hard work to take me to where I want to go to tomorrow. Miracles come only because I realised opportunities and took them, often with the help and support of those who truly care; that care mayn't be one that encompasses all aspects of me (heck, only parents + siblings + significant other can do that), but the range of that care might just be sufficient to push me on into the right direction.
I owe no one a living, but I owe many people their tacit concern and help. Without those who are always behind me in whatever I do, I can get nowhere. That is the nature of life. Maybe one might say that then I owe them a living; but I say that I owe them something that is different from the economic undertones of the term "living". I might not grow up and become a person whom people love, but at least I am growing up and becoming a person whom people respect.
I guess I shouldn't be asking for more.
*nods*
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea
I'm currently reading an electronic version of an unabridged copy of Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, found for free at WOWIO.
It's amazing... both the story and the site I mean. The story is wonderful so far, and the site has served me really well in terms of providing high quality ready-to-send-to-publisher text. I stumbled on WOWIO by accident—I was foraging through my usual list of webcomics when I came across a link to this rather interesting comic called Lullaby. The artwork is credible, and the characters have so much potential; I simply love mash-ups between characters from different stories—the potentials are almost endless as the various abilities and idiosyncracies of the characters can multiply among themselves and present even more interesting scenarios. I highly recommend book-lovers to utilise WOWIO to search for some of the good quality stuff.
If quality typeset isn't your thing, there's still the venerable Project Gutenberg. This site contains many classic works which were released of their copyright, and were painstakingly converted into machine-readable form (aka plain text). If raw text is what you need, then this site will be the better of the two options.
If you're like me, and prefer nicely typeset works, then WOWIO is the way to go.
Alright, I need to actually catch up on some sleep... there's so many things that I need to do over the next three days. Am actually wondering what to do about obtaining cheap coffee... the best solution that I have so far is to make the coffee in my room, store it in a thermos flask, and then use that flask of coffee to last the whole day. So, yeah, that'll probably how I will be doing for this semester, considering that my schedule is rather unbalanced.
It's amazing... both the story and the site I mean. The story is wonderful so far, and the site has served me really well in terms of providing high quality ready-to-send-to-publisher text. I stumbled on WOWIO by accident—I was foraging through my usual list of webcomics when I came across a link to this rather interesting comic called Lullaby. The artwork is credible, and the characters have so much potential; I simply love mash-ups between characters from different stories—the potentials are almost endless as the various abilities and idiosyncracies of the characters can multiply among themselves and present even more interesting scenarios. I highly recommend book-lovers to utilise WOWIO to search for some of the good quality stuff.
If quality typeset isn't your thing, there's still the venerable Project Gutenberg. This site contains many classic works which were released of their copyright, and were painstakingly converted into machine-readable form (aka plain text). If raw text is what you need, then this site will be the better of the two options.
If you're like me, and prefer nicely typeset works, then WOWIO is the way to go.
Alright, I need to actually catch up on some sleep... there's so many things that I need to do over the next three days. Am actually wondering what to do about obtaining cheap coffee... the best solution that I have so far is to make the coffee in my room, store it in a thermos flask, and then use that flask of coffee to last the whole day. So, yeah, that'll probably how I will be doing for this semester, considering that my schedule is rather unbalanced.
Self-reference
Ho ho ho... self-references are always fun. Check this one out:
And yes, this is one of those rare gems from the crazy cesspool of the internets. Enjoy this really interesting self-reference picture.
And yes, this is one of those rare gems from the crazy cesspool of the internets. Enjoy this really interesting self-reference picture.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
テレサ・テン: あなたと生きろ
So my somewhat early gift to myself for my birthday this year is an album from テレサ・テン. Now, you might be wondering who the heck is テレサ・テン. Here's a hint: the katakana reads as "teresa ten".
Yes, it is indeed the Japanese transliteration of one of my favourite singers. I've long knew that she sang in Japanese in addition to Mandarin (including dialects like Cantonese) and English. Strange enough, she has a different style for each language that she sings in—for Mandarin, her early works were more girl-ish and ideal, while her later ones tended to have a certain matured sophistication about it; for Cantonese, she seems rather sagacious, and at times can be rather campy in terms of choice of lyrics or presentation; for English, she sounds fairly okay, because the tunes that she sang were of the more evocative kind (which suites her well)—but the commonality among the styles are that her voice tends to be on the 温柔 or soothing side.
Now, when she starts singing in Japanese, there is something strange that occurs. For one, her tone and register seems to be altered, and the music is noticeably more contemporary; resembling somewhat to a big band without too much support from the brass sections. The music structure itself is also rather modern; it actually makes really pleasant listening. And for some reason, Teresa's voice and the Japanese language seem to work rather well together; it could be because of the fact that the Japanese language is vowel intensive while Teresa is great at holding vowel sounds in a soothing way that make the combination nothing short of spectacular.
One huge problem that I realised was that it was almost impossible to find the correct taggings for the entire album; as a result, I spent the better part of the morning trying to figure this one out. Here's the list for completeness (and hopefully, ease of referral for any other poor soul who is stuck with the same problem):
And yeah, if there are any romaji transliteration errors, I disclaim all of them; I used this Kanji converter to help me.
It is only much later that I realised that this tool would serve my needs aptly. Grrr...
——
In other news, check out this rather familiar tune. Hilarious.
Also, This. Is. Completely. Reprehensible. Like... the hell?! How the heck does one "misspeak" under oath at a trial? That makes no sense whatsoever. That said, it would be really sad if such a situation occurs back in all the other countries who were persuaded to take stronger steps to be inline with the Digital Millenium Copyright Act (DMCA) which is inline with provisions and guidelines from World Intellectual Propery Organisation (WIPO). Please, read the articles and draw some conclusions on your own about the whole issue.
Honestly, this is the one reason why I'm not going into cryptography, even though it has always been my pet field. I mean, most of the cryptographic research these days are around enforcing stronger Digital Rights Management (DRM), something which I do not believe in. I can never see myself working in a field on something that I personally don't have a conviction to believe in, and thus would rather do other kinds of research and keep cryptography on a wide berth. Sure, I believe in protecting one's intellectual property, but to protect it to the point where things become draconian—now that is something that I don't approve of. I can go on and on about this, but perhaps now's not the time nor the place to do so.
Just a parting note: this and this should make really good food for thought.
That is all for now.
Yes, it is indeed the Japanese transliteration of one of my favourite singers. I've long knew that she sang in Japanese in addition to Mandarin (including dialects like Cantonese) and English. Strange enough, she has a different style for each language that she sings in—for Mandarin, her early works were more girl-ish and ideal, while her later ones tended to have a certain matured sophistication about it; for Cantonese, she seems rather sagacious, and at times can be rather campy in terms of choice of lyrics or presentation; for English, she sounds fairly okay, because the tunes that she sang were of the more evocative kind (which suites her well)—but the commonality among the styles are that her voice tends to be on the 温柔 or soothing side.
Now, when she starts singing in Japanese, there is something strange that occurs. For one, her tone and register seems to be altered, and the music is noticeably more contemporary; resembling somewhat to a big band without too much support from the brass sections. The music structure itself is also rather modern; it actually makes really pleasant listening. And for some reason, Teresa's voice and the Japanese language seem to work rather well together; it could be because of the fact that the Japanese language is vowel intensive while Teresa is great at holding vowel sounds in a soothing way that make the combination nothing short of spectacular.
One huge problem that I realised was that it was almost impossible to find the correct taggings for the entire album; as a result, I spent the better part of the morning trying to figure this one out. Here's the list for completeness (and hopefully, ease of referral for any other poor soul who is stuck with the same problem):
| Track | Romaji | Japanese |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | anata to ikiru | あなたと生きろ |
| 2 | ichiya dake no suingu | 一夜だけのスウィング |
| 3 | yoru no hatoba de | 夜の波止場で |
| 4 | muunraito.danshingu | ムーンライト・ダンシング |
| 5 | au toki ha itsumo tanin | 逢う時はいつも他人 |
| 6 | yukigeshou | 雪化粧 |
| 7 | bojou | 慕情 |
| 8 | kuroi shiyooru | 黒いシヨール |
| 9 | yoru no joukyaku | 夜の乗客 |
| 10 | umibe no hoteru | 海辺のホテル |
| 11 | yoru no fuerii.pooto | 夜のフエリー・ポート |
| 12 | haru o matsu hana | 春を待つ花 |
It is only much later that I realised that this tool would serve my needs aptly. Grrr...
——
In other news, check out this rather familiar tune. Hilarious.
Also, This. Is. Completely. Reprehensible. Like... the hell?! How the heck does one "misspeak" under oath at a trial? That makes no sense whatsoever. That said, it would be really sad if such a situation occurs back in all the other countries who were persuaded to take stronger steps to be inline with the Digital Millenium Copyright Act (DMCA) which is inline with provisions and guidelines from World Intellectual Propery Organisation (WIPO). Please, read the articles and draw some conclusions on your own about the whole issue.
Honestly, this is the one reason why I'm not going into cryptography, even though it has always been my pet field. I mean, most of the cryptographic research these days are around enforcing stronger Digital Rights Management (DRM), something which I do not believe in. I can never see myself working in a field on something that I personally don't have a conviction to believe in, and thus would rather do other kinds of research and keep cryptography on a wide berth. Sure, I believe in protecting one's intellectual property, but to protect it to the point where things become draconian—now that is something that I don't approve of. I can go on and on about this, but perhaps now's not the time nor the place to do so.
Just a parting note: this and this should make really good food for thought.
That is all for now.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Rabble
It is rather interesting/sad to realise that I am drifting ever so much further away from the people who are soon to be my colleagues. Really sad/interesting. I've long since known this, but today it struck me in a rather odd way. I guess that I'm seriously not considered to be "among my peers". For one, I don't really like drinking that much, and for two, I don't like parties/bars per se, and for three, I'm not some pure idealistic person who challenges everything just because I can, and for four, I'm not rich.
Damn the innate class system. Mildly infuriating? Perhaps, especially when I look around and realise that the folks whom I will have to call colleagues eventually are all nicely mingling together, while I am still the same old extremely geeky person who does things that everyone else thinks is completely useless. I hate it when folks diss/bash/ignore Computer Science.
But after a while, once these things have strike me enough, I grow numb to them. At this point, I honestly don't care about them anymore—they can go ahead and enjoy their youthful paradise and leave me out of it; leave me alone then, as they always do. No one bothers to try to talk to me most of the time, and I don't bother to try to talk to them either; no sense forcing the issue.
Call it a clash of the alpha folks. Besides, my life revolves around computers, machines, technology and other creative endeavours, while theirs revolve around parties, fun stuff and other money-burning exercises. If I couldn't gel with them before, then I cannot gel with them now because the circumstances have not changed much. And will I be able to gel with them in the future? That is a question that I don't want to answer right now, because the future is still rather uncertain.
And do not patronise me. There's absolutely no need to—I know I'm only seen as someone vaguely resembling a human in most of their minds, only to be summoned as and when they think that they can handle my rather idiosyncratic ways. And just because my chosen field is not one of the "glorified" ones like biology or physics, doesn't mean that I'm not "cool", "hip" or even "interesting". So, to hell with that; I walk my own road, much like what I've been doing before. There isn't a rule that demands that I must be friends with everyone from my batch, and so I won't care about it much.
So, hahaha, go ahead and leave me out of things; I'm used to being ignored anyway. Besides, I'm such a serious person that most of those trivialities don't really excite me.
——
In other news, I've finished optimising exp(), E(), PI() and sqrt() of that BigDecimalMath library that I am working on. The Maclaurin expansion of the exponential function was used with great success when combined with a decomposition technique which allows us to compute the expansion closer to the centre of the interval of convergence, thus reducing the number of terms that we need to compute from the series. The square root function uses Newton's method to obtain, and performs reasonably well, taking about O(log n) time where n is the precision of the output required. The computation for π is extremely fast—most computations take less than 10 iterations to obtain the designated accuracy/precision. The algorithm used is the Brent-Salamin algorithm, which is based off the results of Gauss and Legendre.
My goal for this project is to get the main math functions up and running before trying to further optimise them.
Damn the innate class system. Mildly infuriating? Perhaps, especially when I look around and realise that the folks whom I will have to call colleagues eventually are all nicely mingling together, while I am still the same old extremely geeky person who does things that everyone else thinks is completely useless. I hate it when folks diss/bash/ignore Computer Science.
But after a while, once these things have strike me enough, I grow numb to them. At this point, I honestly don't care about them anymore—they can go ahead and enjoy their youthful paradise and leave me out of it; leave me alone then, as they always do. No one bothers to try to talk to me most of the time, and I don't bother to try to talk to them either; no sense forcing the issue.
Call it a clash of the alpha folks. Besides, my life revolves around computers, machines, technology and other creative endeavours, while theirs revolve around parties, fun stuff and other money-burning exercises. If I couldn't gel with them before, then I cannot gel with them now because the circumstances have not changed much. And will I be able to gel with them in the future? That is a question that I don't want to answer right now, because the future is still rather uncertain.
And do not patronise me. There's absolutely no need to—I know I'm only seen as someone vaguely resembling a human in most of their minds, only to be summoned as and when they think that they can handle my rather idiosyncratic ways. And just because my chosen field is not one of the "glorified" ones like biology or physics, doesn't mean that I'm not "cool", "hip" or even "interesting". So, to hell with that; I walk my own road, much like what I've been doing before. There isn't a rule that demands that I must be friends with everyone from my batch, and so I won't care about it much.
So, hahaha, go ahead and leave me out of things; I'm used to being ignored anyway. Besides, I'm such a serious person that most of those trivialities don't really excite me.
——
In other news, I've finished optimising exp(), E(), PI() and sqrt() of that BigDecimalMath library that I am working on. The Maclaurin expansion of the exponential function was used with great success when combined with a decomposition technique which allows us to compute the expansion closer to the centre of the interval of convergence, thus reducing the number of terms that we need to compute from the series. The square root function uses Newton's method to obtain, and performs reasonably well, taking about O(log n) time where n is the precision of the output required. The computation for π is extremely fast—most computations take less than 10 iterations to obtain the designated accuracy/precision. The algorithm used is the Brent-Salamin algorithm, which is based off the results of Gauss and Legendre.
My goal for this project is to get the main math functions up and running before trying to further optimise them.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Java Programming Once More
Alright, here's a project that I'm trying to complete over the course of 5 days. I will hack up a math library in Java that uses Java's BigDecimal class and compute all those "standard" math functions. In a way, it will be like MPFR, except that it will be an exercise in Java.
Why Java? Why not good old C/C++? Well, honestly, I'm rather rusty at this rather infernal language, so it is time to brush up my skills once again. Also, I'm taking a rather interesting course this semester, Numerical Methods. If this class were in C/C++, I'd be more than delighted, but from the looks of things, it is highly likely that it will need Java instead.
So, time to brush up my Java skills once more. And to think that the very first time that I touched Java was a good 10 years ago...
Why Java? Why not good old C/C++? Well, honestly, I'm rather rusty at this rather infernal language, so it is time to brush up my skills once again. Also, I'm taking a rather interesting course this semester, Numerical Methods. If this class were in C/C++, I'd be more than delighted, but from the looks of things, it is highly likely that it will need Java instead.
So, time to brush up my Java skills once more. And to think that the very first time that I touched Java was a good 10 years ago...
Saturday, January 05, 2008
The Universe is a Virtual Reality?
This is rather interesting. Remember this article that I wrote on reality in July last year? Now, check out the paper that can be found here. Whitworth actually took a much deeper look into this whole "is our reality the reality" issue, and has even proposed [daringly] that our reality isn't truly objective but virtual. I will probably not do much justice to this rather thought-provoking paper, so I shall not attempt to comment on it.
Read the paper. Now.
Read the paper. Now.
Friday, January 04, 2008
Monkey Business
So, for some reason, I ended up looking up on things related to monkeys today. Some of the more interesting artlcles include:
Till next time...
- Monkey's fist (knot)
- 猴拳 (Monkey Kung Fu)
- Chan Sau Chung (猴拳 grand master)
- 孙悟空 (Sun Wukong)
- हनुमान (Hanuman)
Till next time...
View from Cathedral of Learning
And this is my current wallpaper:
Isn't it a rather pretty sight? This picture was taken at the 36th floor of the Cathedral of Learning.
Nothing much to say, except that I'm feeling too darn lackadaisical today. I think I need sleep and more caffeine after that.
Isn't it a rather pretty sight? This picture was taken at the 36th floor of the Cathedral of Learning.Nothing much to say, except that I'm feeling too darn lackadaisical today. I think I need sleep and more caffeine after that.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Quick Summary
So, a quick summary of what I had written for 2007:And thus, the grand total of writing is about 447 articles, up from the 152 from 2006.
That is an average of about 1.2 pieces of writing a day. I think that if I don't actually have any improvements in writing, then something must have gone really wrong somewhere. 2007 was definitely one year where I had many issues which required me to vent out on via writing.
Meanwhile, I'm starting to further stream the writing that is occurring in this particular blog. Originally conceived as both a prose-and-rant type of blog, I am now going to specialise this blog to a rant-only blog, while this will serve as the new prose-only blog.
Other modifications include the shifting of the flagship from the poetry one to rant one. Honestly, I've done my book-keeping, and I realise that most folks are still as gossipy as before and would rather spend time reading rants than pieces of poetry, hence the shift. Other notable changes include the consolidation of friends' links to one place instead of maintaining one on each blog.
A rather minor fix was to edit the setting of the archive of old poems on the old forums to better gel in with the rest of the blogs, as well as to put in some links to the more modern incarnations of the blogs in case folks [accidentally] stumble upon it and actually want to see what I've been up to recently.
Most of the fixes are internal, so everything should be going well. Meanwhile, my target for this year will be to spend more time writing fictional episodes, spend less time on rants, and spend roughly the same amount of time on my poems.
Who knows? Maybe I can start compiling what I've written into a more tangible form. Meanwhile, this bears repeating:
Alright, it's already 6 am in the morning, and I am still awake. Damn I need to get some sleep, otherwise I'm probably not going to be getting any at all.
Until next time.
That is an average of about 1.2 pieces of writing a day. I think that if I don't actually have any improvements in writing, then something must have gone really wrong somewhere. 2007 was definitely one year where I had many issues which required me to vent out on via writing.
Meanwhile, I'm starting to further stream the writing that is occurring in this particular blog. Originally conceived as both a prose-and-rant type of blog, I am now going to specialise this blog to a rant-only blog, while this will serve as the new prose-only blog.
Other modifications include the shifting of the flagship from the poetry one to rant one. Honestly, I've done my book-keeping, and I realise that most folks are still as gossipy as before and would rather spend time reading rants than pieces of poetry, hence the shift. Other notable changes include the consolidation of friends' links to one place instead of maintaining one on each blog.
A rather minor fix was to edit the setting of the archive of old poems on the old forums to better gel in with the rest of the blogs, as well as to put in some links to the more modern incarnations of the blogs in case folks [accidentally] stumble upon it and actually want to see what I've been up to recently.
Most of the fixes are internal, so everything should be going well. Meanwhile, my target for this year will be to spend more time writing fictional episodes, spend less time on rants, and spend roughly the same amount of time on my poems.
Who knows? Maybe I can start compiling what I've written into a more tangible form. Meanwhile, this bears repeating:
Disclaimer: All views expressed in this blog are #1 mine and mine alone unless otherwise indicated and #2 are consistent only at the time of publication of the particular entry. Specifically, do not take my views as the views of the general populace, and do not attempt to chastise me for taking a different stance from before.Again, what I'm trying to say is that all views are temporal in nature, and should be taken in context.
Alright, it's already 6 am in the morning, and I am still awake. Damn I need to get some sleep, otherwise I'm probably not going to be getting any at all.
Until next time.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Countdown!
So it's finally 2008 over here in Pittsburgh. No, seriously, I mean it, it is finally 2008 in Pittsburgh. And I spent the last few hours of 2007 in downtown Pittsburgh for the First Night in Pittsburgh 2008 event. The throng of people was amazing, check it out:
It's a pretty massive number of people.
So we managed to reach there in time for the parade down Penn Avenue, and most of the parade folks were carrying their own hand-made props which are more rustic than the rather polished ones that we see in the Chingay Parade. Hand-made props never seemed more fun than this:
And oh, there's a stilt walker representing Father Time:
By now you should realise that the pictures are rather grainy—can't be helped since folks don't stand there to get their pictures taken, so I had to set my camera to run at a higher ISO setting in order to avoid all the streaky blurs that occurs when folks move faster than the shutter speed for normal (cleaner) images.
The most interesting event of the night was the
Balmoral Highlanders Pipe Band & Dancers who performed at the First Presbyterian Church of Pittsburgh. Really cool stuff. First, a picture of them in the church:
And a close-up of this rather cute chick:
Turns out she's only 15, but that doesn't mean I can't say that she is cute, right? I mean, she is cute, and yeah, I'll stop there.
Now they're about to march down the aisle:
And here's pictures of them as they stepped out of the main hall. First, the pipers:
Next, the tenor drum players (yes, it is that chick, and her name is Anna; go figure that one out):
Followed by the snares:
And finally the bass drum:
Actually, behind the bass drum, there were three lovely highland dancers, unfortunately I don't really have a decent enough picture of them without blur streaks or graininess. So, just know that there were three rather lovely female highland dancers. Speaking of the highland dancers, did you know that each of the highland dances that they were doing were full of hops? It was... tiring even to see them do all that hopping around while dancing. It's an amazing workout I might say, and they must have been rather well-trained, for they didn't even pant after being done with them. Amazing stuff.
And by the time we were done with the band, it was about 45 minutes before the actual countdown. We headed to the main stage and were greeted by the music of The Clarks. Man, those folks are a really good rock band; I suddenly realise that I actually like rock music. But then again, I'm also used to metal, so heheh... Here's a rather screwy picture of them, taken from a good 30 metres away:
And behind them was the building where the amazing "ball" was. Here's how it looked like prior to 2008:
Unfortunately, I was too busy messing around with my stadium horn to actually take pictures of the rising ball, the new backdrop, and of course, the fireworks.
That said, it was a rather interesting evening. Alright, I think I'm done with writing for the night. Hope that folks actually have a chance to read this, and have a happy new year to all.
Ta-ta for now.
It's a pretty massive number of people.So we managed to reach there in time for the parade down Penn Avenue, and most of the parade folks were carrying their own hand-made props which are more rustic than the rather polished ones that we see in the Chingay Parade. Hand-made props never seemed more fun than this:
And oh, there's a stilt walker representing Father Time:
By now you should realise that the pictures are rather grainy—can't be helped since folks don't stand there to get their pictures taken, so I had to set my camera to run at a higher ISO setting in order to avoid all the streaky blurs that occurs when folks move faster than the shutter speed for normal (cleaner) images.The most interesting event of the night was the
Balmoral Highlanders Pipe Band & Dancers who performed at the First Presbyterian Church of Pittsburgh. Really cool stuff. First, a picture of them in the church:
And a close-up of this rather cute chick:
Turns out she's only 15, but that doesn't mean I can't say that she is cute, right? I mean, she is cute, and yeah, I'll stop there.Now they're about to march down the aisle:
And here's pictures of them as they stepped out of the main hall. First, the pipers:
Next, the tenor drum players (yes, it is that chick, and her name is Anna; go figure that one out):
Followed by the snares:
And finally the bass drum:
Actually, behind the bass drum, there were three lovely highland dancers, unfortunately I don't really have a decent enough picture of them without blur streaks or graininess. So, just know that there were three rather lovely female highland dancers. Speaking of the highland dancers, did you know that each of the highland dances that they were doing were full of hops? It was... tiring even to see them do all that hopping around while dancing. It's an amazing workout I might say, and they must have been rather well-trained, for they didn't even pant after being done with them. Amazing stuff.And by the time we were done with the band, it was about 45 minutes before the actual countdown. We headed to the main stage and were greeted by the music of The Clarks. Man, those folks are a really good rock band; I suddenly realise that I actually like rock music. But then again, I'm also used to metal, so heheh... Here's a rather screwy picture of them, taken from a good 30 metres away:
And behind them was the building where the amazing "ball" was. Here's how it looked like prior to 2008:
Unfortunately, I was too busy messing around with my stadium horn to actually take pictures of the rising ball, the new backdrop, and of course, the fireworks.That said, it was a rather interesting evening. Alright, I think I'm done with writing for the night. Hope that folks actually have a chance to read this, and have a happy new year to all.
Ta-ta for now.
New Year?
On another note, am I doing something wrong with my life? Am I just deluding myself that what I am doing is really the thing that I should be doing? And no, I'm not referring to my [rather dismal] personal life, but more for my professional life. Sometimes I feel this helplessness and this strange fear deep within my being. And it doesn't help that everywhere I turn, I keep getting bad vibes.
The hell... I don't like the feeling of this at all. It makes absolutely no sense, like why do I feel all these random feelings every now and then? Is there still something fundamentally wrong with me, or are these bouts of self-doubt absolutely normal for someone who is under much stress from many sources?
So many questions, and yet so few answers. This is getting annoying even for myself; I have long since acknowledged that I no longer know what is the "right" path for myself, or have I? Could all these self-doubt stem from my own inability to acknowledge the basic facts of life, or rather, the basic facts of my current being?
Not a good start to a new year I think, if there's so much to worry about in my mind...
The hell... I don't like the feeling of this at all. It makes absolutely no sense, like why do I feel all these random feelings every now and then? Is there still something fundamentally wrong with me, or are these bouts of self-doubt absolutely normal for someone who is under much stress from many sources?
So many questions, and yet so few answers. This is getting annoying even for myself; I have long since acknowledged that I no longer know what is the "right" path for myself, or have I? Could all these self-doubt stem from my own inability to acknowledge the basic facts of life, or rather, the basic facts of my current being?
Not a good start to a new year I think, if there's so much to worry about in my mind...
"Misanthropy"
The rather unfortunate thing about me is that massive crushes are the most that I can ever feel for a girl. For some reason, I don't seem to be able to break out of that persona of mine to really want to get into a long term relationship with anyone; for a while I thought that being with someone exclusive was probably a really good thing to look forward to.
Now, I just feel that with the amount of technology and knowledge in my hands, why do I want to end up in a relationship in the first place?
I mean, let's be realistic. I'm pretty much the same old geeky person that I have always been—nothing is ever going to change that fact. Absolutely nothing. Sure, I might like to flirt a little, I guess, and maybe end up with massive crushes on some girls. But I know that I cannot proceed any further than that. Is this despair? Perhaps, but for sure I know that a self-existent world is still a world nonetheless.
Throughout this break, I tried thinking about how it is like to be with someone for the rest of my life. Sadly, they don't seem to work out well; I just cannot see myself in that light as a person who is actually loved by another person. My world is that of computers and abstraction, not the world where humans inhabit. Misanthropic behaviour? I'm not discounting that possibility.
I just don't feel ready enough for things like that. Period. That's all I can say at this point in time.
Can anyone actually imagine me with a person for a long term relationship? That very notion doesn't make any sense at all! Maybe all I am good for is just basic friendship, someone that one can rely on when one needs help of some sort. But I'm probably not good enough to be that special someone who lights up other's days.
It's really ridiculous, but hey, if this is the way things are supposed to be, they will be. Besides, considering the fact that my next 13 years of my life are going to be dictated by work anyway, it probably doesn't matter that much.
My tune might change in the future, but who really knows what lies ahead in the future? I'm just going to ride the waves and see where the tide takes me—there's really no point worrying about things like this right now. Especially now, since I'm technically a foreigner in a foreign land, the more that the "hooking up" concept will just not work out well.
In other [less depressing] news, I've found something rather interesting. I remembered that about 10 years ago (oh god I'm old), I had this amazing English teacher who made us do all kinds of writing assignments which honed our writing prowess. Now, I feel that my fiction writing skills are rusty, and then on a random stumbling about day, I found WriteThis 2, a creative writing utility that generates writing exercises to be completed. It is rather useful, and I might just put up a new blog with some of the stuff that I wrote while doing the exercises.
Keep your eyes peeled!
Now, I just feel that with the amount of technology and knowledge in my hands, why do I want to end up in a relationship in the first place?
I mean, let's be realistic. I'm pretty much the same old geeky person that I have always been—nothing is ever going to change that fact. Absolutely nothing. Sure, I might like to flirt a little, I guess, and maybe end up with massive crushes on some girls. But I know that I cannot proceed any further than that. Is this despair? Perhaps, but for sure I know that a self-existent world is still a world nonetheless.
Throughout this break, I tried thinking about how it is like to be with someone for the rest of my life. Sadly, they don't seem to work out well; I just cannot see myself in that light as a person who is actually loved by another person. My world is that of computers and abstraction, not the world where humans inhabit. Misanthropic behaviour? I'm not discounting that possibility.
I just don't feel ready enough for things like that. Period. That's all I can say at this point in time.
Can anyone actually imagine me with a person for a long term relationship? That very notion doesn't make any sense at all! Maybe all I am good for is just basic friendship, someone that one can rely on when one needs help of some sort. But I'm probably not good enough to be that special someone who lights up other's days.
It's really ridiculous, but hey, if this is the way things are supposed to be, they will be. Besides, considering the fact that my next 13 years of my life are going to be dictated by work anyway, it probably doesn't matter that much.
My tune might change in the future, but who really knows what lies ahead in the future? I'm just going to ride the waves and see where the tide takes me—there's really no point worrying about things like this right now. Especially now, since I'm technically a foreigner in a foreign land, the more that the "hooking up" concept will just not work out well.
In other [less depressing] news, I've found something rather interesting. I remembered that about 10 years ago (oh god I'm old), I had this amazing English teacher who made us do all kinds of writing assignments which honed our writing prowess. Now, I feel that my fiction writing skills are rusty, and then on a random stumbling about day, I found WriteThis 2, a creative writing utility that generates writing exercises to be completed. It is rather useful, and I might just put up a new blog with some of the stuff that I wrote while doing the exercises.
Keep your eyes peeled!
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